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AIBU?

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Original poster

Discovered (by accident) BIL is bankrupt. Do I tell SIL?

487 replies

PoppyWoods · 02/09/2021 20:08

Part of my job is to check the insolvency register. It's a public register, freely accessible to all.

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything. Anyway to my horror I discovered my BIL was declared bankrupt 3 months ago. It's definitely him as it lists full name, address and dob.

My SIL has never mentioned it. We're fairly close and she's disclosed very personal things to me in the past, so I'm wondering if she even knows. Is it even possible that he could go through the process and her be totally unaware?

My dilemma is, do I tell her or not? What if she doesn't know? What if she does know and she's so mortified she hasn't told anyone? What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

I honestly don't know what I do with this information (if anything). Appreciate your thoughts

OP posts:
Ringsender2 · 02/09/2021 20:12

Just keep quiet and keep info to yourself. No-one else's business

SummaLuvin · 02/09/2021 20:13

What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

well...you were snooping

jimmyhill · 02/09/2021 20:14

Of course she fucking knows

Mynamegone · 02/09/2021 20:14

I don’t think it’s fair to say really. I would try to put it out of your mind but be supportive and sensitive to the knowledge if you see what I mean, if you are close.

BabyRace · 02/09/2021 20:15

Stay out of it. Not your circus.

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 02/09/2021 20:15

Why would you check up on them like that? I'd be absolutely livid if a family member or friend did this to me.

She may know, financial information isn't something everyone wants to discuss. Maybe they don't want anyone to know. I wouldn't say a word, it's not your business.

ShowMeTheSugar · 02/09/2021 20:15

You were snooping, and its none of your business. I wouldn't say anything but be ready to help and support if asked

2gorgeousboys · 02/09/2021 20:16

Whilst it's part of your job to check the register is it part of your job to check on family members? I'd be disgusted if a member of my family checked up on me like this. Why on earth would you think snooping like this is OK?

TakeYourFinalPosition · 02/09/2021 20:16

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything.

It wasn't really an accident if you searched for him? You might have done it not expecting to find anyone, but you didn't accidentally stumble across it, you searched for it.

It's a tough call bearing that in mind, because you didn't accidentally discover it, and she may well be mortified that you've searched for them and found it. It might also make her wonder how you knew - it's not unbelievable that you periodically randomly search your family, but it is odd, and she might not believe it.

My instinct is to keep it to yourself, and perhaps try to give her opportunities to open up to you if she wants to.

Original poster
PoppyWoods · 02/09/2021 20:17

But what if she doesn't know?

Is it even possible to become bankrupt without your spouse knowing?

OP posts:
LittleBirdBlu · 02/09/2021 20:18

Bloody hell why would you even search your family members or friends?? That's appalling!!

HotChoc10 · 02/09/2021 20:18

I wouldn't mention it, and assume she knows but hasn't told you because it's personal. I googled an old classmate the other day as I was wondering what they were up to and the first result was a bankruptcy notice, so I can see how it can be done, but definitely wouldn't admit to it if I did see her again.

justfuckoffthelottayer · 02/09/2021 20:19

I think you may find you are breaking all sorts of data protection and fsa rules and laws by randomly searching people you know, I wouldn't be surprised if that was a sackable offence people have a right to privacy and you have no right to snoop. None of your business they didn't tell you because they don't want or need to discuss it with you so keep your nose out and stop spying on people.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 02/09/2021 20:19

YABVVVVU to even consider it!!

And that's what you get for snooping as well.

DuckDuckGooses · 02/09/2021 20:20

@justfuckoffthelottayer

I think you may find you are breaking all sorts of data protection and fsa rules and laws by randomly searching people you know, I wouldn't be surprised if that was a sackable offence people have a right to privacy and you have no right to snoop. None of your business they didn't tell you because they don't want or need to discuss it with you so keep your nose out and stop spying on people.
It's a public record..... anyone in the whole country can search it on the .gov website
justfuckoffthelottayer · 02/09/2021 20:21

She searches it as part of her job I doubt part of her job involves searching everyone she knows to see what she can find out totally different.

LoveFall · 02/09/2021 20:21

I agree you should not be checking on your relatives and friends. I would stay out of it.

Original poster
PoppyWoods · 02/09/2021 20:22

OK, it wasn't by accident and I snooped, but now I know do I do anything with that info?

No Data Protection issues, public register

OP posts:
Planty13 · 02/09/2021 20:22

NO. It’s literally none of your business, bloody hell.

Trechi · 02/09/2021 20:23

You are interfering and snooping. Keep out of it.

Miniroofbox · 02/09/2021 20:23

That’s a data protection breach. What’s your justification for searching family members? I bet your work policy doesn’t say look up your BIL.

Cuck00soup · 02/09/2021 20:23

While it might be your job to check the insolvency register regarding specific individuals when required to for work, I think you will find looking up friends and family is a data breach.

It's also a really shitty thing to do.

WhatsTheBFD · 02/09/2021 20:23

Is it even part of your job or are you just unbelievably nosey?

BabyRace · 02/09/2021 20:23

Yes, you learn your lesson and stop snooping on your friends and family.

Keep your mouth shut.

LoveFall · 02/09/2021 20:23

And you really didn't discover it by accident. You searched on purpose. Even if it is public, I doubt your work would be pleased you are doing this.