To think this is rude and selfish?

(151 Posts)
SylHellais Wed 05-May-21 22:33:13

We went to a visitor attraction today with a cafe/restaurant on site. All the six tables (large round picnic type tables which would seat 6) were full, but three of them were occupied by one person at each table who had no drink or food but were just sitting there reading or looking at phones. There were other tables nearby not served by the cafe where people could sit.

Personally, I think the staff should have moved the non-eating/drinking people on, but they were clearly unwilling to, even when we pointed out that it was lunchtime and there were people occupying the tables who were not eating or drinking. We weren’t rude or confrontational about this, before anyone starts, it was just a polite comment.

All three of them saw us and other people trying to find somewhere to sit but chose to ignore us. The cafe were actually brilliant and did takeaways for us all so it was fine, but it just irritated me that these three men were determined to occupy tables when they didn’t need to.

OP’s posts: |
Astronaut8 Wed 05-May-21 22:35:47

They could of been waiting for people?

threeteenstaximum Wed 05-May-21 22:37:54

It doesn't sound like you did anything, except note that potentially those individual people not eating were being unreasonable,

Yup that's annoying... you did well not to ask "are these seats taken?" and plonk yourself in a table under occupied if they didn't say no.

You sound really lovely and really polite.

SeaTurtles92 Wed 05-May-21 22:38:27

You don't know why they were sat there.
Stop acting so entitled.

SylHellais Wed 05-May-21 22:38:40

Astronaut8

They could of been waiting for people?

They were not. We ended up at non-cafe tables nearby and no one joined them. They literally just sat at the cafe tables with no food or drink reading.

OP’s posts: |
Thedogscollar Wed 05-May-21 22:40:41

SeaTurtles92

You don't know why they were sat there.
Stop acting so entitled.

Stop being so obtuse.

SylHellais Wed 05-May-21 22:41:12

threeteenstaximum

It doesn't sound like you did anything, except note that potentially those individual people not eating were being unreasonable,

Yup that's annoying... you did well not to ask "are these seats taken?" and plonk yourself in a table under occupied if they didn't say no.

You sound really lovely and really polite.

Normally, I might have just asked to sit at the table but with COVID regs, i didn’t think that was a goer.

OP’s posts: |

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RedAzalea Wed 05-May-21 22:43:28

why do you think the staff should confront them?

Astronaut8 Wed 05-May-21 22:44:36

You got a table not far away by the sounds of it so I don’t see the problem. Just because they weren’t the cafe ones and they didn’t move them on.

SylHellais Wed 05-May-21 22:47:47

I should probably add for anyone else who wants to have a go and needs a reason:

- no, there were not waiting for anyone.
- no, they were not eating or drinking and showed no signs of having done so recently, I.e. no cups or plates on the table.
- it was three separate men aged about 40-50 with no signs of disability (though I accept in hindsight they could have had a hidden disability!)
- no, I am not entitled, I just thought it was a bit rude and selfish to occupy tables in an actual cafe at lunchtime if you don’t buy anything to eat or drink there.

OP’s posts: |
threeteenstaximum Wed 05-May-21 22:48:38

SylHellais

I should probably add for anyone else who wants to have a go and needs a reason:

- no, there were not waiting for anyone.
- no, they were not eating or drinking and showed no signs of having done so recently, I.e. no cups or plates on the table.
- it was three separate men aged about 40-50 with no signs of disability (though I accept in hindsight they could have had a hidden disability!)
- no, I am not entitled, I just thought it was a bit rude and selfish to occupy tables in an actual cafe at lunchtime if you don’t buy anything to eat or drink there.


Agree with you

Well done for your patience and nlt wanting to make a scene.

BlackDaffodil Wed 05-May-21 22:49:14

This happened to me once, no seating after I'd paid nearly £45 for hot food etc.. literally every table was occupied by people reading books or on laptops not eating or drinking. Staff wouldn't ask anyone to 'move' either.

I took all the food back to the counter and asked my money back, I got it.

LubaLuca Wed 05-May-21 22:52:01

You have to speak up in situations like this. If you're certain they shouldn't have been sitting there and you needed a table, ask them to move and point them to the nearby seat that is not part of the café.

RampantIvy Wed 05-May-21 22:52:41

I agree with you as well. You weren't being entitled at all. I doubt that these people would have been allowed inside a cafe to sit at a table and not order anything. I reckon the cafe probably lost some trade because of them.

SylHellais Wed 05-May-21 22:54:05

It wasn’t scene-worthy and we got food and sat nearby. I just thought it was a bit odd that firstly three separate men chose to occupy large family-sized tables alone at lunchtime without actually buying anything to eat or drink and secondly that the cafe staff didn’t want to ask them to read their books at the tables opposite instead.

I posted in AIBU because I was genuinely curious to see if someone somehow said it was my fault and I was not wrong. 😂

OP’s posts: |
JackieTheFart Wed 05-May-21 23:01:57

YANBU, how ridiculous to call you ‘entitled’ for wanting to sit and eat at a table when you’re at an eating establishment!

Personally I would have just asked if anyone was taking the seats. They do this and hope no one will ask them.

Pumpkintopf Wed 05-May-21 23:02:46

I'm surprised the staff weren't willing to politely ask them to move. Must have had an impact on their trade you'd think.

BlackDaffodil Wed 05-May-21 23:02:48

YANBU 🌸

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Wed 05-May-21 23:08:05

Of course yanbu. Those tables were for people eating and drinking at the cafe.

mainsfed Wed 05-May-21 23:17:04

I thought it’s pretty standard that tables to be meant for people who have bought food or drink from the cafe?

YANBU.

AlwaysLatte Wed 05-May-21 23:18:56

There are never any small 1/2 person tables at these things for singles and couples.

Dunairbeanat Wed 05-May-21 23:23:22

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

a8mint Thu 06-May-21 00:58:15

I would more blame the cafe staff who allowed them there rather than
their paying customers

memberofthewedding Thu 06-May-21 01:24:10

Ive had this happen a couple of time in the past and have just simply plonked myself uninvited at whatever table had a space. People have done this to me.

My view is that If I paid to eat in a cafe/restaurant and there is an empty space I dont have to ask anyones permission to sit in it. Ive also pointed out to people who have finished their meal and are just sitting that there are others waiting for a space to sit down. If they object because of the covid rules they are at liberty to depart. Usually you will find that if there are two or more of you and you sit at a table occupied by a single (not eating or drinking) that they will leave pretty quickly. It has nothing to do with entitlement. The tables are a facility provided for the people consuming refreshments.

sma1978 Thu 06-May-21 01:28:33

I do agree with you OP, but also wonder what kind of attraction it was for 3 separate middle aged men to visit on their own, then sit and do nothing, not even eat or drink.

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