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Would you date someone shorter?

(249 Posts)
radiateforme Mon 01-Feb-21 08:27:42

I'm going for a socially distanced walk next week with someone I met on tinder and have been chatting to for a short while, (yes it is allowed and he lives round the corner from me!). Problem is I think he might be shorter than me! I'm about 5ft8 so not small. I've always dated tall men. I'm not sure if it will bother me but I'm nervous it'll be awkward! I haven't asked how tall he is as don't want to turn it in to a thing but he looks short in his social media photos. Has anyone here ever been on a date with someone shorter? Am I incredibly shallow to worry about this?

OP’s posts: |
AStudyinPink Mon 01-Feb-21 08:55:40

No, I wouldn’t.

Eleoura Mon 01-Feb-21 09:00:18

I dated a guy the same height as me (possibly slightly shorter) for 2yrs. Its personality more than anything, BUT, I never felt comfortable wearing heels, felt myself hunching sometimes and personally prefer someone taller. I realise these were my own issues. He never asked me NOT to wear heels etc, but if I did, I just felt like I was towering over him.

HeadSpin5 Mon 01-Feb-21 09:00:28

I never thought I would - I’m 5.10 and used to be self conscious about my height so when you get, I feared a shorter man would just draw attention in a negative way. But it became less important as I got older and when I met my partner, I genuinely didn’t care that he was fact 2” shorter than me - didn’t really notice! I’m not one for sky high heels anyway but on the odd occasion I wear them (weddings etc) neither of us care (and joke about it!).

I guess 2” isn’t that big a height difference though. Would I have cared if he was much shorter? Maybe, actually. I may have filed him in the friend zone

HeadSpin5 Mon 01-Feb-21 09:01:07

‘you get’ = younger

Buttercupcup Mon 01-Feb-21 09:01:57

I wouldn’t but I’m only 4’ 11’’ 🤣

goosebumps Mon 01-Feb-21 09:04:35

I just think it's so sad that you would even think of this as a reason not to date him. Surely it's personality that matter.

It's such a double standard too. I'm a short woman but that never bothers anyone - it's only short men who get so judged.

Why don't you give him a chance and forget about his height.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants Mon 01-Feb-21 09:05:13

No I wouldn't.

Yes that might be shallow, but 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not been difficult though as I'm not quite 5ft 🤣

PrawnCorset Mon 01-Feb-21 09:05:25

Am married to someone shorter. Has never cost me a thought.

I suggest you have a read of a completely nutso recent thread on here where a crazed OP apparently screened her dates before she met them by asking how tall they were in their bare feet, but then somehow didn’t notice her new squeeze was wearing four-inch inserts in his shoes for several months of walks until after she’d slept with him.

Palavah Mon 01-Feb-21 09:06:46

Go and meet him, see whether you get on and would like to see him again. It doesn't need to be a big deal at this point.

OhWhyNot Mon 01-Feb-21 09:08:36


But I’m short myself. Always attracted taller men (above average height)

I like feeling small against a man (oh dear that’s me no longer being considered feminist of the year)

XenoBitch Mon 01-Feb-21 09:09:15

I am 5'8' and was in a relationship for 2 years with a guy who was 5'1. He had the human equivalent of little dog syndrome and was a total asshole. Thought all women fancied him.

kerkyra Mon 01-Feb-21 09:10:47

Yes,I would.
I'm just over 5'10 and happy to date someone a couple of inches smaller. Now I'm reaching fifty I'm finding little things like height arent so important and I have to be less fussy!

goldielockdown2 Mon 01-Feb-21 09:17:03

I have in the past but I'd like to go back in time and give myself a shake. It's ok to have preferences! We are all attracted to different things. If it's a deal breaker, then it's fine.

Daisysflowers Mon 01-Feb-21 09:19:00

I am the same height as you and wouldn’t date someone shorter then me. If that makes me shallow then so be it.

I have only had relationships with men over 6ft tall.

MrsSimonBasset Mon 01-Feb-21 09:25:51

No I wouldn’t. The height difference would bother me and be a massive turn off. I’m 5”9 and have only ever dated men over 6ft.

thepeopleversuswork Mon 01-Feb-21 09:25:56

I'm afraid to say this is about the only physical red line I have in a relationship. I've been attracted to men of all shapes and sizes and would not rule anyone out on any other basis.

I find someone who is physically shorter than me (and I'm fairly tall) totally incompatible with sex. It doesn't compute -- its like being intimate with a child and I find it a real turn-off at some primal level. See also people with smaller hands. I find it really yuck.

goosebumps TBH I don't think there's anything wrong with this: there's no point in forcing something with someone you know are never going to be sexually compatible with.

I would say no harm in going on a date with someone on the basis that its always good to meet new people, you may make a good new friend and you never know. But I don't think there's anything wrong with having a clear-eyed view to whether someone is going to meet your sexual needs.

Belindabelle Mon 01-Feb-21 09:26:20

Would you date someone thinner than you?Or fatter. How about someone with a different skin colour?

There has to be an attraction on some level but discounting someone because of a physical feature could mean you won’t meet someone who could have the potential to be perfect for you.

tootsytoo Mon 01-Feb-21 09:30:43

@Belindabelle I agree. I'm 5ft 8 and my dH the same height. It bothered me for years and at times wish I'd wake up and he was taller.

After 10 years I'm finally at a point where it genuinely doesn't bother me one bit. Because he's the man for me and I'd be sad if I'd have ended it due to something that has literally no bearing on how we communicate and the love we feel for each other.

So I guess I've learned a lesson, it doesn't matter quite as much as I initially thought it did. Would I date him if he was 5ft 1, that's another ball game lol

lidoshuffle Mon 01-Feb-21 09:31:20

I wouldn't date a shorter man, but only because I wouldn't be attracted to him in the first place - my 'type' are tall.

PaddyF0dder Mon 01-Feb-21 09:31:37

I guess this explains the suicide rate in short men.

RogueV Mon 01-Feb-21 09:33:54

But I’m 5’2

TomRipley Mon 01-Feb-21 09:35:35

You'll know when you're with him if it's something you mind or not. Depends on how much shorter they are.

I'm 5ft 10" and I'd look silly with a 5ft 2" boyfriend. Whether that's an issue with society or not it's a fact. If he were 5ft 8" then it wouldn't be so bad.

I ended up with a husband of 6ft 3".

AStudyinPink Mon 01-Feb-21 09:36:18

I guess this explains the suicide rate in short men.

I’m not sure it does. But it might be contributory, certainly.

AStudyinPink Mon 01-Feb-21 09:38:00

Would you date someone thinner than you?Or fatter. How about someone with a different skin colour?

Thinner = yes
Fatter = no
Skin colour = haven’t yet, but don’t rule it out

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