DD is 5, almost 6. Year 1.
I am strict with screentime and usually it’s not a problem, 45 minutes twice in the week and 90 minutes 1 weekend day. Usually it’s no problem with no arguments in the week as 2 nights a week she has activities and 1 night a week she goes to after school club, another night she’s at ExHs but has her own there so isn’t actually off it. Weekends were always trickier as she’s only here EOW but I’d compromise with her and we’d go swimming or she’d have a party of a school friend or we’d go out for a walk etc. so she wouldn’t have it until after dinner on Sundays. She has her own tablet purely because I don’t have one and I don’t really want her on my computer or phone. It’s completely locked down; childrens youtube with selected channels, no ability to download or purchase anything etc. (I can do these things for her if needed).
She was only allowed on the switch at weekends for half an hour (parental controls on that thing are amazing) and she’d lose half an hour on her tablet if she chose to go on the switch.
During the lockdown I was less strict with it, she had to do any English or Maths work recommended by school, and read to me from our collection of ORT books but then she could have 90 minutes per day doing whatever on the tablet. She was also allowed 1 hour twice a week on the switch.
She returned to school at the start of June. Every morning she tells me (not asks) that she is going on her tablet or the switch after school, if I tell her no because we’re doing playdoh or baking or watching a film together she screams at me saying she hates me and she wants to live with her dad. She tells me she hates me I’m horrible and that dad is much nicer. She kicks off if it’s bedtime and has been known when the parental controls kick in on either the tablet or the switch to thrown the device shouting it’s not fair. She’s told her teacher at school that I’m mean for not letting her go on “whenever she wants” (thankfully her teacher has 2 DCs slightly older and is strict on their screentime so gets it), she’s also told the same teacher that when she goes to high school she’s living with her dad. She sometimes refuses to go to school until I promise she can play them after school, if I say no I have to drag her in kicking and screaming shouting that I'm not her mum and she hates me.
ExH lets DD do whatever she wants, stay up until whenever, no restrictions on screentime, doesn’t feed her proper meals just lets her eat sweets or gets a takeaway, never takes her anywhere. Pretty sure he doesn’t have any toys for her at his house. He has her EOW for 24 hours and 1 night a week for tea and I know on the night she’s there for tea she comes back grumpy, shouty and not wanting to go to bed. I know he also lets her play on whatever she wants to whereas I only let her play games rated Pegi 7 or below on switch and recommended for up to age 8 on tablet. Often when I pick her up on his weekend she falls asleep in the car (he lives 20 minutes’ drive from me).
In terms of screentime I’m one of the more relaxed parents about it in her class, most of her friends only go on tablets at school and the ones that use them at home get an hour at the weekend only. One of her best friends isn’t even allowed to watch TV (I have that on constantly for company mainly but forget to switch it off so DD watches it) and her mum gets upset if she finds out she’s been on a tablet or computer at school.
I don’t really want to get rid of the switch as I also play it (for an hour or so a day once DDs in bed I go on one of my consoles) but if I have to I will as I also have a PS4 but DD doesn’t play on that (she knows what it is though and uses it as a DVD player) although I do play games only available on the switch (Animal Crossing, Cooking Mama etc) so would be sad to sell it but I think it’s the only way to stop DD behaving like a spoilt brat.
Any other solutions I’m at my wits end with it?
YANBU - Sell the devices
YABU - Don't sell
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To sell my DDs tablet and the switch?
88 replies
SolutionsforScreens · 30/06/2020 09:50
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
253 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
80%
You are NOT being unreasonable
20%
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