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AIBU: boyfriend squeezing my hips

(142 Posts)
ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 20:54:07

I started a thread about an hour ago and I wany clarification on whether im unreasonable after another poster is ranting at me.

Boyfriend and I are furloughed and havent really integrated in the outside world nor saw each other since lockdown below.

We have met up for walks only starting the past few days, and yes we have held hands and kissed. We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd.

Im sorry but I havent seen him in months and we couldnt go on any longer.
It's easy enough people who live with partners to claim those of us who don't are totally unreasonable to "touch" each other.

I find this very sad and upsetting that touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who you dont live with is taboo

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Spillinteas Sun 31-May-20 20:58:37

I think you just have to use your own common sense. You will always find people on the internet that don’t like what you say 🤷‍♀️

I have my friend a hug a couple of weeks ago when her husband walked out and she was crying. She needed it. We’re not dead. We both survived a hug!

Dozer Sun 31-May-20 21:00:15

Thought this was going to be about a rude bf commenting on lockdown weight gain!

ShirleyPhallus Sun 31-May-20 21:00:53

I know it’s officially against the rules but I do think this is the harshest one out there. Same as single people not being able to join with a household and see them. As long as you are isolating from others I can’t see what the problem is really

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:00:57

@Dozer hahah tbh I have gained a few pounds grin

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Shoxfordian Sun 31-May-20 21:01:46

It is breaking the social distancing rules op so yeah yabu. I don't see how you can think you're not. Your boyfriend could have given you the rona or you could give it to him then spread it about a bit more when you go to the shops. If everyone did what you did then more people will catch the virus so yeah, yabu.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:02:58

@Shoxfordian but the same concept can be applied to people who work together.
Nurse goes to work and comes into contact with somebody. Goes home kisses and dtd with husband. Husband catches it. Goes to his work and spreads it. Their partners go home and kiss and so on!

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ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:03:11

*people who live together
I meant

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borntohula Sun 31-May-20 21:05:46

YANBU by my standards, ridiculous to expect people in relationships to stay away from each other just because they don't have the luxury of sharing a home..

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:07:20

@borntohula exactly! If anything my boyfriend and I are less risk than partners who live together and go to work.
We havent been anywhere or anything apart from the households we live in yet i'm the devil reincarnated to some people because we touched hmm

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WorraLiberty Sun 31-May-20 21:07:28

I'm not getting the hip connection?

You've kissed, so hip squeezing isn't really going to make a difference is it?

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:08:17

@WorraLiberty the hip was in reference to my previous thread which the poster has got really worked up about. I Should have clarified sorry

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sonjadog Sun 31-May-20 21:10:52

Just use your common sense and ignore the posters who are determined to be smug and self-righteous. Some people on AIBU get a kick out of trying to bring other people down, and lockdown has given them a whole new world of opportunities. You and your boyfriend know your situation and none one else here does. Do your own risk assessment.

Alsohuman Sun 31-May-20 21:11:07

We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd

You might as well have done. Why not go the whole hog?

WaterOffADucksCrack Sun 31-May-20 21:11:30

Yabu for caring enough about what a random on the internet said to start a thread! Even if it was 100% YABUs you'd still do whatever you're doing just like everyone else so it's all a bit pointless really.

Sorry but it seems like attention seeking when people describe how they've broken a part of lockdown as you'll always get people who disagree.

Samtsirch Sun 31-May-20 21:14:27

I think TheRoses has got to you but don’t let them, they probably have their own crap going on which is causing them to fixate on one thing and be unnecessarily unkind.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:14:43

I've started this thread because i think it's awful how policing have got over other people's actions.
For example, yes someones daughter hasnt seen their boyfriend in 6 months. But why's that my problem? I've chosen to see mine and the risk is minimal that we would catch it/spread it as we are furloughed and have rarely left the house apart from walks

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WaterOffADucksCrack Sun 31-May-20 21:16:08

Also, you sound like you're judging couples who are out working so you deserve to be judged in turn. I don't actually disagree with what you've done but tbh I'd have temporarily moved in together. Would you be judging my partner for coming home to me after he's treated you in the back of the ambulance? Would you judge me for coming home to my partner after spending the day caring for an elderly relative? We take as many precautions as we possibly can. We have 3 under 5 at home including a breastfed baby. We'd rather be at home with our only concern being what strangers on the internet think but we have jobs to do.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:16:14

@Samtsirch it's because i'm tired of this 'we're better than you at sticking to lockdown' that some people have got going on. It's like people get a kick out of it

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ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:18:18

@WaterOffADucksCrack i'm actually not judging anybody? I used it as an example at how ridiculous it is that couples who live apart are forced to socially distance yet couples who live together can kiss, see each other and go to work, come home kiss and see each other. Yet couples who live apart are torn apart because they go for a walk and have a kiss and a hand hold hmm

No I am not actually judging couples who live together. It is none of my business what couples do

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Shoxfordian Sun 31-May-20 21:19:24

Many people are working from home or are furloughed and nurses wear protective equipment to lessen their chances of catching the virus. I suppose if you're sure that your boyfriend has socially distanced properly from everyone else and you have as well then it's low risk but still doing what you like to the potential detriment of everyone else.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:21:08

@Shoxfordian yes because people holding hands with my partners is going to kill the whole worldhmm

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Samtsirch Sun 31-May-20 21:21:13

Yes I totally understand that and I do see your reasoning regarding people who live together and go out to work etc.
I think ( know) that what you and your partner are doing is happening everywhere all of the time and understandably so. Most of us are just doing our best.😊

ChewaBewaNewaCewa Sun 31-May-20 21:21:24

*with partners
I'm typing too fast

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Moooms Sun 31-May-20 21:21:53

Link to previous thread please..

This is a difficult situation and I really feel for you. However the Nurse example has irked me greatly because do you really think we want to go to work in coronacity? It's a necessity, meeting your boyfriend is not. That's not to say I disagree with you meeting him, just the example was ridiculous hmm

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