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Actually the worst thing about Lockdown is NEVER BEING ON YOUR OWN

(180 Posts)
YippeeKayakOtherBuckets Wed 15-Apr-20 21:51:23

I’ve just had a mini meltdown at DH. I’m furloughed but he is still working full time from home. Three kids, two dogs, cat. Chaos at the best of times. Oh, also the boys had CV symptoms right at the start of all this and DHs work did a WFH edict early so we’ve been in this for 5 weeks nearly.

He’s working in the dining room which is off the open plan kitchen so I have to juggle ‘homeschooling’ the 8yo, dealing with the animals in and out the back door, making lunch for everyone, fielding squabbles, keeping everyone quiet while he’s holding meetings every other hour.

He finishes mid afternoon and then wants to DO THINGS so while I’m quite happy to sit in the garden he wants me to get involved with board games and jigsaws.

Tonight tipped me over, he runs a martial arts class on a Wednesday which is now happening over zoom so I have to keep everyone upstairs because any noise from kids and dogs downstairs ruins the ‘chi’ (wanker) of the session. I took a bottle of wine upstairs with me thinking I could settle in and watch crap telly for a bit. He started at 7ish.

The 8yo is as hyper as shit so was in and out of my room talking at me and literally jumping on the bed/me/dogs. The 16yo keeps sending me links to things she wants me to buy for her. The 17yo is on his headset SHOUTING at his friends rather than speaking at normal volume.

Dh finished his class about 9.30 and popped his head in to say he’s done and he’s going to watch the Mandalorian downstairs.

Fuck off you’re not, I said. You get to put 8yo to bed, and be a bit firm because he’s bored and being a dick and will be trouble. Oh, he said, can’t you do it? I’ve had a busy day.


I may or may not have been a bit sweary. The upshot is they’ve all now fucked off to separate rooms from me, nobody is asking for anything from me and I’ve finally poured a glass of wine and fired up Quiz to watch.

I really miss the days when they’d all leave the house.

AIBU I want to be isolated ALONE for half a fucking hour.

OP’s posts: |
ErrolTheDragon Wed 15-Apr-20 21:54:31

thankswine my sympathies.

Pollony Wed 15-Apr-20 21:54:36

Its the thing I am struggling with most, my alone time was my commute. I miss my commute so much right now.

yatapina Wed 15-Apr-20 21:54:59

DH and I are both still working out of the home but I struggle with sensory overload and usually recharge in my 60 minutes alone time everyday in between work/school pick up.

I'm really missing that - I'm with the kids all morning, working with people all afternoon then sitting with DH all evening. I've had a few meltdown over it!

TokyoSushi Wed 15-Apr-20 21:57:14

We're currently all watching TV in different rooms! I fee your pain OP!

RedLipsAndRosyCheeks Wed 15-Apr-20 21:58:35

Oh god yes OP. I'm furloughed and looking after the kids while DP works from home.

I just want an hour a day where nobody talks to me!

I miss my commute

Bluebooby Wed 15-Apr-20 21:59:37

Yanbu. I only have DD and her father so it's nothing in comparison but I feel the same way. He spends most of him time in his office room - regardless of whether he is working or it's his day off. I do actually prefer that because I feel more stressed when he's around, but I am with DD nearly every second of every single day with no break. She doesn't sleep well, won't stay in a room alone for very long, it's morning until night time and by the time she falls asleep I can barely keep my eyes open most of the time. It is starting to get to me.

HoldMyLobster Wed 15-Apr-20 22:00:53

I went out on my own today to run some errands - supermarket, prescription, drop off a parcel, pick up masks.

Heaven. I'd forgotten the bliss of sitting in a car on my own, listening to my music.

BeNiceToYourSister Wed 15-Apr-20 22:00:53

To my introvert DH’s irritation I need constant company so I’m actually loving the family contact about 90% of the time, but your post made me smile, OP grin YANBU at all - enjoy your well-deserved wine!

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 Wed 15-Apr-20 22:01:12

Yep, my weekly drive to the supermarket is now my quiet time, it's too short a drive and doesn't include a Costa coffee though so it's a pretty crappy substitute for actual quiet time grin

ahagwearsapointybonnet Wed 15-Apr-20 22:01:25

I know what you mean. Can you get out for a really long walk on your own once in a while? Or send the kids out for one so you get some peace? I definitely do the former sometimes, though my kids are still a bit young to send off on their own for a proper walk, especially when they'd need to remember to keep their distance from people as well!

theotherfossilsister Wed 15-Apr-20 22:01:26

I just have DP, a cat, and a flatmate, and long for solitude too. x

Longdistance Wed 15-Apr-20 22:01:58

We’ve stop homeschooling. It’s Easter holidays.

I’ve done the majority of homeschooling with dds with the occasional brief input on if dh who has zero clue what m teaching.

I’m back next week, and now dh has been furloughed, he can teach...

Dozer Wed 15-Apr-20 22:02:51

Go out for an hour a day exercise alone?

Unescorted Wed 15-Apr-20 22:03:53

I have been speaking to friends and colleagues who are on their own. I am so glad I have my family about me. So they wander in and talk over what ever I was watching.... I just rewind and start again. It is not as if I have a huge deal more to do. For my lone householders they don't get to rant at the news headlines, share a meal, have a glass of wine, make a joke or work through all the things they are thinking.

the worst thing is not never being alone, it is being alone.

Pleasebeafleabite Wed 15-Apr-20 22:03:58


Enjoy your wine

I am looking forward most to my shower being my own again

Bunnybigears Wed 15-Apr-20 22:04:48

I do my daily exercise by myself so I can get away from all the kids, animals (apart from the dog I take him with me) and DH.

DinoGreen Wed 15-Apr-20 22:04:49

I’m going stir crazy. We’re the other way round to you - DH has been furloughed and I’m not. So he’s looking after 4 year old DS during the day but expects me to take over for an hour over lunch and then as soon as I’m done for the day, so I actually don’t get a second to myself the entire day until DS is in bed. Then he wants to chat all evening. I went out for a walk on my own tonight to get some space - can’t hack this for much longer!!

Aquamarine1029 Wed 15-Apr-20 22:05:37

Op, is there any way you could set up a working area for your husband in your bedroom/another room? Him being smack dab in the middle of everything must be awful.

mymadworld Wed 15-Apr-20 22:05:40

I felt myself about to explode (implode maybe ?!) earlier today for the same reasons so dusted off my road bike and went out for a blast ALONE down some blissfully quiet country roads. I literally felt a weight lifting grin
Admittedly it was my second bout of exercise that day but given I was close to committing murder, it was a one-off and am v.rural, I didn't feel too guilty and boy oh boy did it feel good. Solo exercise is going to be my new hobby and DH can walk with the bloody kids and dog in future envy

Dylaninthemovies1 Wed 15-Apr-20 22:06:52

Yip! We are both WFH with a 4 year old. Because the dog walker isn’t coming,
Our dog misses her daily 8 mile walks, so hangs about me the minute I sit down and tries to get me to play.

Had an irrational rage on Saturday as son was watching telly and DH was playing some noise on his phone. So I humphed upstairs and sat for a 10 minutes on the bed doing nothing

LurkerTurnedPoster Wed 15-Apr-20 22:07:35

Me too! I usually work from home and am used to having the house to myself from 7am to 6pm...DH now furloughed and ligging about bored while I am still working usual hours (9 to 6) and driving me insane... Would pay money for an hour to myself... Just to have whatever I fancy for lunch without him saying 'what can I have?' would be good.

speakout Wed 15-Apr-20 22:07:52

OP I feel your pain.
It's my biggest challenge too.
As much as I love my family I also love my own space.
I work full time from home , and everyone wants entertained or fed.

Malvinaa81 Wed 15-Apr-20 22:09:20

Your account was so descriptive- I felt I was living it with you- and then I found thank goodness I wasn't!

I think I'd want to strangle your husband- and as for his bloody "chi" sessions- he could run them from a small cupboard- not take over most of the house for this crappy new age nonsense.

formerbabe Wed 15-Apr-20 22:10:38

I understand op. People keep saying they're bored and coming up with interesting things to fill your time...I'd fucking love to be bored right now. I've never been so busy...schooling the kids, constant bloody cooking and cleaning. I'm bloody knackered and would love half an hour's peace.

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