To think that these are not signs that we live in poverty.

[Tweedledeedumb]

Had an unexpected phone called from DS's school.
All year 7's were given a survey and my sons answers indicated that we might be in need and the school were offering friendly help. It turns out that the questions that he responded no to were:

Do we have a dishwasher
Do we have a microwave
How many holidays abroad has DS had this year.

AIBU that these are not an indicator or poverty. I have never seen dishwashers or microwaves as necessary.

Both I had in the past and never used them. It is personal choice not to own them and we do perfectly well without.

As for the holidays, why is going abroad necessary when we have amazing places in the UK. Fair enough if they said holiday in the last 2 years but for all they know, I may have had 6 holidays last year.

I work in education so not knocking the school as we see these things all the time but this had to be the most ridiculous one to date.

The school said that it was fine and it was just to flag those needed help and they couldn't ask the children if their parents struggled to pay bills.

What do you think? Are these questions useful?

[Tweedledeedumb]

I really should proof read before submitting

[hotchocolateee]

Oh my god! Sorry but I burst out laughing. No way does that indicate poverty

[FredaFrogspawn]

They are odd choices, I’d agree. I wonder if they are linked to a wider used criteria of poverty which the author of the questions has access to somewhere?

[Lilacviolet]

I actually think that’s incredibly invasive and rude of the school.

[Spied]

The questions are ridiculous.
Very judgemental. I wouldn't be happy to receive that call.
Maybe we'd have passed the test though as we have a microwave! Yay! We must be more affluent

[Zebraaa]

How bloody rude! Some people manage just fine without a dishwasher!

[Savingforarainyday]

Dear god
Surely a letter going out to say " we have a extra pot of money- if you are having trouble supplying lunch/ paying for trips, please come see us" is better than that nosey, useless survey.

[apples24]

In no way do those things indicate property, quite contrary, I'd say that these days they are more likely to indicate quite middle class slightly "alternative" lifestyle choices.

I also personally find questionnaires like that really quite invasive....

[Halo1234]

I agree with u. Microwave and dishwashers are not markers of poverty. But part of me respects them trying to look for those in need to offer help. The intention was good but I agree with u.

[SushiGo]

It's a bit of an odd one, because, say 15 years ago, when families were comparatively wealthier and some things, like holidays abroad were cheaper it might have been a good marker, although there always would have been people who didn't have space or want a dishwasher etc.

However, ime, it's just normal now to not be able to afford to have every white good going or to go abroad every year.

We don't have a microwave because there is no space in the kitchen and we don't miss it particularly.

[couchparsnip]

In the majority of cases - not having those things would be a flag of possible poverty.

There are are always a few outliers, of which you happen to be one. I wouldn't be annoyed about it. You're unusual but you probably already know that!

I would be pleased that the school are trying to address the issue.

[VivaDixie]

Good grief! We don't have a dishwasher and had our first ever holiday abroad with DS10 this year. I would have had to say something to the school as they are way off the mark!

[FredaFrogspawn]

Hard to ask the real questions though.

Are you ever hungry because your parents can’t afford food? Do you dread the holidays because lunch disappears? Do your shoes have holes but your parents can’t afford new ones yet? Are you coming to school without a coat because your coat doesn’t fit you any more? Is your home every too cold for you to do your homework comfortably because there’s not enough money for heating? Do you have to say no and pretend you don’t want to go on school trips or to extra curricular activities because your parents won’t have enough money for them?

How do you ask children those questions? Our students are fiercely loyal to their families and very rarely admit poverty although we see the signs.

[Flyingsouthwiththeswallows]

Wow. How intrusive and judgemental of the school.

And why is that their business in any way if your DS is happy and thriving at school?

I would be fuming !!

[Wonderbag]

Friendly help in what way?
To pop round and wash up?

[KUGA]

Cheeky/nosey.
What are they trying to find out and for what purpose ?.

[Cloudyyy]

I agree that they aren’t markets of poverty but would be pleased to hear that the school are doing their best to identify and help those families in need. It seems like they’re trying to do something positive and I don’t really care if people know if I own a microwave or not, hardly intrusive.

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

Not markers of poverty by a long shot. I’ve seen the holiday statement elsewhere before, since when did not having a luxury become an indicator of poverty? What next, a sports car?

Not having food, heat, basic clothes or a home I would say was a marker.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Your DS missed the chance (re the dishwasher) to say 'yes, me', thereby also shopping you for child slavery.

[danmthatonestakentryanotheer]

Flippin' heck...I've never owned a dishwasher or microwave and the only holiday abroad was Disneyland Paris when DD was 12. Although tbf after that trip I was pretty skint for a while.

[Camomila]

Those seem like really odd questions to pick.

No microwave - heat things on the hob/worry about 'radiation'
No dishwasher - worry about it ruining nice china (DM is wary of ours!)
No holiday abroad - might have spent 2k in Centre Parks or Cornwall, or not gone because your DM broke her leg or something.

Were there other more sensible questions?

[Mollpop]

I've never had a dishwasher. I don't have a microwave either (didn't bother replacing it when the last one broke). I could afford to buy them, I just don't want them. I holiday in the UK as I don't like flying. It'd be cheaper to go abroad. I'm definitely not living in poverty.

[JenniferM1989]

So you're in poverty because you wash your dishes by hand and cook meals from scratch instead of using a microwave? 😂

[Kungfupanda67]

I don’t have a dishwasher and haven’t been abroad this year, we’ve got an annual income of £85000 🙄 poverty stricken clearly!

[VirtualHamster]

Holidays abroad seems particularly ludicrous - I could see that not having any sort of break in the past year might be an indicator - but amongst children of people I know I'd say 50% would answer zero to holidays abroad in the past year.