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Manager won’t let me go to my wedding

(245 Posts)
Biggobyboo Sat 31-Aug-19 18:36:20

I’m a mature student (Master’s degree) and I’ve previously worked in professional office jobs. I’ve recently started a part time job on a make-up counter to earn some pin money and to get me out of the house. I always thought it seemed like a fun job and I like skincare and cosmetics.

When I sent back my contract to HR I mentioned I had my wedding coming up and a week off for my honeymoon. They said that was no problem.

I started the job and discovered my manager has the week of my honeymoon booked off for a holiday and flies out on my wedding day. The full time assistant is being a bridesmaid at another wedding that day so there is no cover in the store.

My manager said I cannot have the time off. I thought she was joking so I said “sure, I’ll just re-arrange it for the following week then!” She said that I should make it at least a couple of weeks after HER holiday. I explained that it wasn’t possible to cancel my wedding and she said it was a shame I wasn’t showing my dedication to the brand and being a team player so early on in the job. No more has been said as she has gone off sick so it’s just me and the other assistant. I can’t do too much (paid) overtime as I’m studying so she’s being funny with me. I’m contracted for 15 hours a week but I’m doing 22.5 hours currently to cover. The brand is recruiting for another part time assistant.

So should I just hand in my week’s notice now or wait until the week of my wedding? If I leave now, the other assistant will have nobody else so there will be no cover. The store is open around 60 hours a week but I’ve noticed the other brands leave their counters unmanned a lot of the time where they have no staff.

If I leave just before the wedding there will still be no cover for that weekend.

Any ideas? I’ve never worked anywhere this crazy before!

PotatoShape Sat 31-Aug-19 19:12:39

Go in, quit, and then ask to be made up as you are considering using their brand for your wedding make up.

gilliansgardenbench Sat 31-Aug-19 19:15:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sorrysorrysosorry Sat 31-Aug-19 19:16:01

Would I be totally unreasonable to not go in tomorrow and just to never go back again?!

Would be a bit crap to leave your colleague in the shit but totally up to you.
Could you not email the area manager of the brand and explain about the wedding, just so they can go and bollock the crap manager and get something in place for remaining staff rather than any other reason.

I’ve had the misfortune to work for managers like that and it’s great you can walk away and not have to worry but, other workers still have their mortgages to pay, and may not be so lucky to walk into another job. I’d contact higher up if I were you just for your colleague.

Pat123dev Sat 31-Aug-19 19:16:06

Quit, enjoy the moment of saying, I don’t need this crap in my life! And then look forward to your wedding!

Di11y Sat 31-Aug-19 19:16:17

No, go in tomorrow, just don't be that person to leave on such a bad note. and it sounds like your manager would have to sort something out as hr have agreed it, so personally I'd stay til your wedding and just not turn up as agreed with Hr

Mouikey Sat 31-Aug-19 19:16:22

Many moons ago I took a Sunday job in retail to help with a credit card bill (already worked full time). I worked as a manager and between the assistant and I we significantly improved on sales from before I started.

I’d been there for a while when I was invited to my (then) Boyfriends sisters wedding... in Japan, at Christmas. I let the interim manager know that I couldn’t work the holiday period and was told that it wouldn’t be possible to take time off then. I get it was a busy time but I had given them a significant amount of notice!

The way I was spoken to was amazing. It took seconds to think about what I would do. The wedding was amazing!!!!

Strangely enough when I handed my notice in (I wasn’t an arse about it, but did it so they had lots of time to find a replacement), I was asked if I would stay on if they gave me the leave!!! I said no, for no other reason than the way I was spoken to when I had the initial discussion. The interim manager actually left before I did!

Horehound Sat 31-Aug-19 19:19:39

There is no way I'd be going in tomorrow!
Enjoy your wedding, op!!

NewMum54321 Sat 31-Aug-19 19:23:08

Would I be totally unreasonable to not go in tomorrow and just to never go back again?!

I don’t think so; it’s not the nicest thing to do but companies that treat their employees like crap don’t deserve a lot better!

Ilikethisone Sat 31-Aug-19 19:30:53

@Di11y that's dropping them in the shit even more.

She would be best telling them shevis taking it and it's tough or handing in her notice.

travellersglitch Sat 31-Aug-19 19:33:43

How much notice do you need to give? I'd go in tomorrow and email your notice.

bamboocat Sat 31-Aug-19 19:34:07

If you are on your own tomorrow, then perhaps do that shift and then leave.

BigFatLiar Sat 31-Aug-19 19:35:31

Its all in your hands. I'd wait till I heard back from HR after all you're still being paid and if the response isn't positive you can still leave. At least you have the chance to be out talking to other people for a while which must be good if you're stuck inside doing your studies most of the time. If they don't sort your leave or if it causes problems just leave and find some other PT work when you get back.

Cherrysoup Sat 31-Aug-19 19:35:56

I’d work my week’s notice then go, but definitely tell HR what your manager has said. She’s being a bit batshit if HR already authorised the time off.

Purpleartichoke Sat 31-Aug-19 19:38:25

Is just keep working as long as you want to earn that extra money. If they make you quit over your wedding, oh well. You have made your situation known. It’s not your responsibility to make sure there is counter coverage.

amysara24 Sat 31-Aug-19 19:38:58

It might depend on the company, but I was in a similar position of having a part time job to keep me busy through uni and got married on NYE just past. That week is a “red week” at my (now previous) employer and so no one, not even managers are allowed to book AL. I was told that not only are a company legally obliged to give you your wedding day off, but they have to pay you an extra days AL for it! Definitely don’t back down, she sounds like a jobsworth who doesn’t want to be told she can’t take her own holiday!!!

TokyoSushi Sat 31-Aug-19 19:41:17

Just resign

transformandriseup Sat 31-Aug-19 19:44:35

I cant believe she thought you were serious when you said you would change your wedding date 😂

I can believe this as it happened to me too. My wedding and time off had been booked for eight months and with less than a month to go I was asked if I could change the date. I told my work it was impossible and they said I was being difficult. They made me “redundant” a few weeks after the wedding. They also asked me several times if we would be trying for a baby as soon as we were married.

KangaAndRooAndOwl Sat 31-Aug-19 19:45:10

Go in, write FUCK YOU on the make up counter in red lipstick...then leave 💋

Hecateh Sat 31-Aug-19 19:48:16

What is really sad about this is not the OP as this is a part time stop gap to her.
What is a big issue is that this kind of bullying goes on all the time with staff that don't (easily) have the option of walking out and crap managers like this can dictate.
They can't legally dictate in this situation as previously booked holidays have to be honoured but in general.
I worked a retail job in a shoe shop, I only did it for a month as, luckily, I got a better offer. The manager there was actually great but the assistant manager kept asking me if I should make notes and 'reminding' me that there was a lot more to the job than there seemed to be, there wasn't. Although on minimum wage we were expected to be there and ready to work 5 minutes before beginning of shift and frequently expected to stay up to 10 mins at the end of a late shift if all the customers hadn't left.
My daughter also worked briefly in a similar job and a women that was mugged on her way to work was told she had to either make the hours up or have her pay docked.
It's appalling how some staff, frequently the lowest paid, are treated.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery Sat 31-Aug-19 19:48:20

I would turn up for work tomorrow if it were me, purely because I wouldn't want to leave a colleague (who has done nothing wrong and wasn't involved in any of the holiday/wedding palava) in the shit. But I'd be typing up my resignation letter tonight and leaving it on the counter before I left for my shift tomorrow. Or better still resign over email tonight so tomorrow's shift counts as part of your weeks notice.

Mary1935 Sat 31-Aug-19 19:51:08

She’s a cheeky f..... - interesting she’s gone off sick - she’s probably scared they will ask her to cover it. You can just leave - just don’t mention the job on any CV. Good luck.

gilliansgardenbench Sat 31-Aug-19 19:51:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TanyaChix Sat 31-Aug-19 19:55:01

I’d be waving them goodbye as of this evening. You don’t need the reference. Let her learn what happens when they treat staff like utter crap.

TomHagenMakesMyBosomTremble Sat 31-Aug-19 19:55:20

I used to be in retail management and we would have been obliged to honour your leave because it is pre-existing. Might have cursed you behind your back due to the clashes & having to magic up cover, but we'd have honoured your leave, It's not your fault! This is a really exceptional circumstance, too, with a 3-way clash. Shitty planning & booking on their part before your leave is even added to the mix.

I'd put in your notice, do the week & go. A friend of mine walked out of her job in a jewellers after her 9 months of notice for her wedding was considered insufficient and her leave request was denied!

berlinbabylon Sat 31-Aug-19 19:58:50

the expectation from the manager that I sacrifice my wedding to sell moisturiser and lipstick in a shop

It wouldn't matter what job you were doing, obviously your wedding comes first.

I started a new job not long before my wedding and they knew about it long before I started. Once I was there, my boss said something about if there had been a lot of client work I might not have had the time off. I never questioned him on it but did wonder if he was really saying I would have had to cancel my wedding. In hindsight he probably was - he was an arse and I left after six months at the end of my probation.

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