Neighbour just gave my husband this:

[cravingmilkshake]

Hi all, my first post in aibu 🤞🏼.

We are proud new parents of a 16 day old baby girl. I am breastfeeding/working it out and think it's going well so far.

Our daughter doesn't cry so much but does occasionally and can get loud - especially if I'm upstairs eg showering and husband has her downstairs.

Anyway, my husband came in today with a leaflet given to him by our 85 year old neighbour... husband thinks he was being kind but aibu to think that this is very passive aggressive?

Thanks in advance- a tired new mum 🤞🏼

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Chuck it in the recycling.

Congrats on your baby!

[AryaStarkWolf]

Maybe he was trying to be funny or maybe hes grumpy, either way don't give it too much thought, congrats btw

[AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen]

I expect he thought he was being kind. He probably just saw it and thought of you as new parents. I really wouldn't read too much into it.

Congratulations

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Unless you've got previous with them, I'd choose to see it as him having it delivered or seeing it and thinking it could help you in a helpful, neighbourly way, rather than as a criticism.

[BeeFarseer]

That is incredibly rude of your neighbour.

If you want to retaliate, I'd suggest posting him leaflets about retirement homes...

[Miljah]

I'm very impressed that an 85 year old has heard of baby sleep consultation!

[Surfskatefamily]

But of an odd old fella... He might be passive aggressive altho maybe one of his family members uses her or something. Odd tho.... Congratulations 🎊

[EssentialHummus]

Congratulations OP .

Um, could be either really - what's the neighbour like generally? But in short, babies cry, even if you're as attentive as can be. They can't recite Shakespeare - if they are trying to communicate a need to you, it'll likely be by crying for the first few months at least*. So don't worry about that.

*And very soon you'll have a two year old who, like mine, may choose to express herself through the medium of throwing bananas and offering silent tantrums on the floor at Tesco.

[Apolloanddaphne]

He probably saw it somewhere and picked it up thinking you might find it useful. My DM would do something like that not even thinking it might be misconstrued.

[Nameusernameuser]

I reckon he saw it and thought of you! I think he was being kind, and I usually think the worst in people

[madcatladyforever]

I don't know without knowing your neighbour better.
Personally I never commented on next doors babies as it seemed a bit rude and are they supposed to gaff a tape them or something. I just used to use ear plugs for their first who cried a lot.

[SuperFurryDoggy]

I think it all depends on the manner in which it was given. It seems fairly specific, so I wonder if the practitioner is a family member or friend?

Try not to worry about it either way though (easier said than done I know!)

[Happynow]

I think maybe he was being kind? Trying to understand.

[user1471449295]

Passive aggressive bullshit from your neighbour.

[RLOU30]

My bets on him being kind.
My neighbour gave me some colic bottles when I had my son last summer. He knew I was struggling but was always so amazed as he couldn't hear a thing. He was just being kind :)
Congratulations!

[rosedream]

I'm sure he just thought it may be helpful.

Unless there's a past to think different don't go down the negative route. It just causes unnecessary horrid feelings and negativity. What a waste of energy.

[greenlynx]

It could be passive aggressive but it could be that she came across this somewhere accidentally or she’s related to this person. I think at her age a new baby next door is a big event so she could even mention it to her friends and relatives and they gave her this. I also noticed that some older people think that they must advice something to a new mum every time they see her. Tbh I would thank her if she asks but that’s it.
Congratulations with your baby girl!

[Jozen]

No, honestly, I think it's just a leaflet she's picked up at the GP surgery or whatever and thought "ooh cravingmilkshake might find that useful" and popped it in her bag for you.
I do get where you're coming from though. I remember struggling to breastfeed DS and my friend came over with some lactation biscuits she made. I remember being really pissed off with her for thinking I was failing at breastfeeding. She was only trying to help, I can see that now .
Congratulations on your new baby.

[FurnitureAndBackgammon]

As your baby is only 16 days old I doubt he's fed up with the crying already. He probably saw it and thought he was being helpful.

[SadOtter]

Your daughter is 16 days old, she can't possibly have cried enough for any reasonable neighbour to think you need help with getting her to sleep.

I think he's probably just seen it and was being kind in a just in case way, do the neighbours have DC? maybe its something they wish was around when theirs were small?

[greenlynx]

Sorry should be he not she, just noticed that your neighbour’s male

[Treesinaforest]

I think it's sweet and thoughtful

[Jozen]

Just noticed your neighbour is male, I've called him "she". My response is the same though.

[BitOftheSea]

Just being kind I think. Maybe even their family member who is the sleep consultant?

[Caxx]

I would recepricate with a dignatas leaflet