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Neighbour just gave my husband this:

(133 Posts)
cravingmilkshake Wed 14-Aug-19 21:39:36

Hi all, my first post in aibu 🤞🏼.

We are proud new parents of a 16 day old baby girl. I am breastfeeding/working it out and think it's going well so far.

Our daughter doesn't cry so much but does occasionally and can get loud - especially if I'm upstairs eg showering and husband has her downstairs.

Anyway, my husband came in today with a leaflet given to him by our 85 year old neighbour... husband thinks he was being kind but aibu to think that this is very passive aggressive?

Thanks in advance- a tired new mum 🤞🏼

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 14-Aug-19 21:42:10

Chuck it in the recycling.

Congrats on your baby!

AryaStarkWolf Wed 14-Aug-19 21:43:03

Maybe he was trying to be funny or maybe hes grumpy, either way don't give it too much thought, congrats btw

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen Wed 14-Aug-19 21:43:28

I expect he thought he was being kind. He probably just saw it and thought of you as new parents. I really wouldn't read too much into it.

Congratulations flowers

AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 14-Aug-19 21:43:42

Unless you've got previous with them, I'd choose to see it as him having it delivered or seeing it and thinking it could help you in a helpful, neighbourly way, rather than as a criticism.

BeeFarseer Wed 14-Aug-19 21:43:47

That is incredibly rude of your neighbour.

If you want to retaliate, I'd suggest posting him leaflets about retirement homes...

Miljah Wed 14-Aug-19 21:43:48

I'm very impressed that an 85 year old has heard of baby sleep consultation!

Surfskatefamily Wed 14-Aug-19 21:44:12

But of an odd old fella... He might be passive aggressive altho maybe one of his family members uses her or something. Odd tho.... Congratulations 🎊

EssentialHummus Wed 14-Aug-19 21:45:05

Congratulations OP flowersbrew.

Um, could be either really - what's the neighbour like generally? But in short, babies cry, even if you're as attentive as can be. They can't recite Shakespeare - if they are trying to communicate a need to you, it'll likely be by crying for the first few months at least*. So don't worry about that.

*And very soon you'll have a two year old who, like mine, may choose to express herself through the medium of throwing bananas and offering silent tantrums on the floor at Tesco.

Apolloanddaphne Wed 14-Aug-19 21:45:28

He probably saw it somewhere and picked it up thinking you might find it useful. My DM would do something like that not even thinking it might be misconstrued.

Nameusernameuser Wed 14-Aug-19 21:46:45

I reckon he saw it and thought of you! I think he was being kind, and I usually think the worst in people grin

madcatladyforever Wed 14-Aug-19 21:47:30

I don't know without knowing your neighbour better.
Personally I never commented on next doors babies as it seemed a bit rude and are they supposed to gaff a tape them or something. I just used to use ear plugs for their first who cried a lot.

SuperFurryDoggy Wed 14-Aug-19 21:47:53

I think it all depends on the manner in which it was given. It seems fairly specific, so I wonder if the practitioner is a family member or friend?

Try not to worry about it either way though (easier said than done I know!)

Happynow Wed 14-Aug-19 21:48:40

I think maybe he was being kind? Trying to understand.

user1471449295 Wed 14-Aug-19 21:48:47

Passive aggressive bullshit from your neighbour.

RLOU30 Wed 14-Aug-19 21:49:04

My bets on him being kind.
My neighbour gave me some colic bottles when I had my son last summer. He knew I was struggling but was always so amazed as he couldn't hear a thing. He was just being kind smile
Congratulations!

rosedream Wed 14-Aug-19 21:49:15

I'm sure he just thought it may be helpful.

Unless there's a past to think different don't go down the negative route. It just causes unnecessary horrid feelings and negativity. What a waste of energy.

greenlynx Wed 14-Aug-19 21:49:48

It could be passive aggressive but it could be that she came across this somewhere accidentally or she’s related to this person. I think at her age a new baby next door is a big event so she could even mention it to her friends and relatives and they gave her this. I also noticed that some older people think that they must advice something to a new mum every time they see her. Tbh I would thank her if she asks but that’s it.
Congratulations with your baby girl!

Jozen Wed 14-Aug-19 21:50:03

No, honestly, I think it's just a leaflet she's picked up at the GP surgery or whatever and thought "ooh cravingmilkshake might find that useful" and popped it in her bag for you.
I do get where you're coming from though. I remember struggling to breastfeed DS and my friend came over with some lactation biscuits she made. I remember being really pissed off with her for thinking I was failing at breastfeeding. She was only trying to help, I can see that now grin.
Congratulations on your new baby.

FurnitureAndBackgammon Wed 14-Aug-19 21:50:13

As your baby is only 16 days old I doubt he's fed up with the crying already. He probably saw it and thought he was being helpful.

SadOtter Wed 14-Aug-19 21:51:03

Your daughter is 16 days old, she can't possibly have cried enough for any reasonable neighbour to think you need help with getting her to sleep.

I think he's probably just seen it and was being kind in a just in case way, do the neighbours have DC? maybe its something they wish was around when theirs were small?

greenlynx Wed 14-Aug-19 21:52:17

Sorry should be he not she, just noticed that your neighbour’s male

Treesinaforest Wed 14-Aug-19 21:52:33

I think it's sweet and thoughtful

Jozen Wed 14-Aug-19 21:52:38

Just noticed your neighbour is male, I've called him "she". My response is the same though.

BitOftheSea Wed 14-Aug-19 21:52:56

Just being kind I think. Maybe even their family member who is the sleep consultant?

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