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To be sick of this woman and her (unsolicited) skincare advice?

(151 Posts)
abstractmaths Fri 19-Apr-19 18:51:46

A couple of months ago, I joined an indoor cycling studio, and became acquainted with this woman whose weekly timetable coincided perfectly with mine. All is great, aside from the fact that she can’t seem to quit talking about my skin despite me telling her (repeatedly) “thanks, but no thanks”!

For context, I had the most awful cystic acne from my late teens all the way till my early 20s, which left me with a whole bunch of boxcar and rolling scars. The discolouration is all gone now, thank goodness. Unfortunately though, despite having undergone multiple rounds of fractional lasers etc, the “textured” scarring has only had maybe a 30% improvement? Either way, it’s not ideal, especially under fluorescent and/or angled lighting.

Anyway, back to this woman. I usually get the classic lines of “have you tried drinking more water”, “do you wash your face frequently”, “have you tried x”, “do you use y” and the like. Scarring aside, my skin is somewhat great now (I’m sure she’ll scoff if I ever say this out loud), so none of this is actually in any way helpful. I know she probably means well, but it just comes across as incredibly condescending and I’m pretty much done with it at this point.

AIBU?

WifOfBif Fri 19-Apr-19 18:53:17

She is being incredibly rude.

Could you say something like ‘I’m not sure why you comment on my skin all the time, I’m sure you mean well but it is going to have an effect on our friendship if it continues. Please stop”.

Witchofzog Fri 19-Apr-19 18:55:37

This would drive me bonkers and she must have the skin of a rhino if she doesn't realise how rude she is being.

I would be blunt and tell her you do not wish to discuss your skin anymore. You had acne for years and there is nothing she can advise or tell you that you don't know already thank you very much

MijasMaddie Fri 19-Apr-19 18:57:09

How rude?? You might have to get to the point with her as she sounds the type that doesn’t ‘get it’.
Something like ‘I really appreciate your concern but I’m here to exercise and feel good about myself! Please do not mention my skin again. Thank you ‘

DointItForTheKids Fri 19-Apr-19 18:59:38

"Why don't you fuck off with your unwanted personal comments about my skin, cheers" would work for me.

MooseHoose Fri 19-Apr-19 19:00:08

I’d say, “I really don’t like the way you keep telling me that my skin needs improving. It’s really awkward for me and you need to stop.”

The rude cow.

sue51 Fri 19-Apr-19 19:00:08

Just say that you find her rude and condescending. People like her need to be told how ignorant they sound.

MayFayner Fri 19-Apr-19 19:01:43

I would have started avoiding her after two comments.

One is my limit!

MijasMaddie Fri 19-Apr-19 19:02:00

Doinforthekids 🤣

slipperywhensparticus Fri 19-Apr-19 19:02:19

Tell her it's not spots its scar tissue and water doesn't fix that

Ilikethinkingupnewnames Fri 19-Apr-19 19:04:13

I have this but over my weight. A friend can not compute that I am happy with my size. Every single. Bloody time we meet she tries to recommend something. I called her out on it one night when we were out drinking and she was rude again. However rather than being apologetic she turned it all on her and sulked. I'm of the opinion it says more about them than it does about us.

Absolutepowercorrupts Fri 19-Apr-19 19:05:59

I'd just tell her to fucking shut up about your skin, but then I'm very blunt. You are not being in the least bit unreasonable, she's tactless and obviously doesn't realise that's she's being obnoxious.
I know the MN response is, did you mean to be so rude, that's too tame. Maybe ask her if she knows what it feels like to have constant negative comments about an aspect of herself that she can't change

marshmallowkittycat Fri 19-Apr-19 19:06:31

She's being rude, I do wonder also if she's gearing up to trying to sell you some overpriced MLM skincare shite.

ElspethFlashman Fri 19-Apr-19 19:06:50

I'd do a Tinkly laugh and say "Can we NOT talk about my skin again please?!"

MissLadyM Fri 19-Apr-19 19:11:12

Cheeky rude bitch. I would just tell her to fuck off! But I appreciate that could make it awkward. Just tell her straight to stop talking about your skin then distance yourself. If she keeps doing it ignore ignore ignore

ticketsonsalenow Fri 19-Apr-19 19:17:57

Give it a couple more weeks and she'll be trying to sell you something with aloe vera in it.

RateThisState Fri 19-Apr-19 19:24:36

I’d be tempted to do it back.
“Gosh, your hair is so dry. Do you use conditioner? What about Moroccan oil? Do you ever use moisturising hair masks? How often do you get it trimmed?”

RateThisState Fri 19-Apr-19 19:25:22

Give it a couple more weeks and she'll be trying to sell you something with aloe vera in it
Bingo. My bet is on this

pepperpot99 Fri 19-Apr-19 19:29:00

YANBU. Some people are just unbearably rude.

DointItForTheKids Fri 19-Apr-19 19:32:09

YES - I too straight away thought, supplements or aloe vera / other form of MLM!!!! Then again, she's been terribly restrained if she's waited this long - usually they're straight in with an attempted sale!!

brizzlemint Fri 19-Apr-19 19:38:04

She's extremely rude. You really need to either tell her directly to shut up or change your time at the gym.

thesnapandfartisinfallible Fri 19-Apr-19 19:39:57

Have you tried winding your fucking neck in? Said with a bright smile in a chirpy tome.

Littlechocola Fri 19-Apr-19 19:41:59

Just tell her to stop

NaturatintGoldenChestnut Fri 19-Apr-19 19:42:58

'Look, you need to stop commenting on my skin if you wish for me to speak to you, otherwise I'm going to have to ignore you because you're being incredibly rude.'

Ilike why on Earth do you speak to this person at all? She's no friend.I'd ghost the bitch.

BlatheringOn Fri 19-Apr-19 19:44:58

"Have you tried drinking more water"!! The woman is a patronising moron.
Or other posters could be right and she is planning to sell you something.
Either way, next time she mentions your skin you could mention the massive flaw she has (because absolutely no one is ever perfect!)

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