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Baby in cafe

(659 Posts)
Ginnymweasley Tue 09-Apr-19 18:52:52

Today I was out with my dd(3) and my ds (9 months). We went into a small cafe for lunch, sat down and decided what we were having etc. Waitress came over and we ordered and i asked for a high chair, she informed me there was only 1 high chair and it was in use. So I got ds out if his pram for a bit cause he hates being in it if we are not moving.
He sat on my knee and played for a few mins but then started to get grumpy. He is at that stage where he wants to be moving as much as possible. I got up with him and let him walk around the table a few times holding my hands etc. He wasnt crying or anything just a trying to get down and throwing toys.
A couple came and sat on the table next to us. I stayed stood up with the baby,I didn't go near their table just let him walk around the chair/table to his sister and back. He started shouting a bit, again not crying just babbling loudly. I shushed him, picked him up and tried to distract him. By this point our food arrived.
I strapped him back in his pram and gave him some food to eat. He was again babbling and threw a few bits on the floor. The couple next to us at this point got up,loudly asked to be moved as they didn't like noisy children and parents that couldn't control them. I apologised but they just turned round and said I should have left the cafe as soon as he started making noise but my dd was eating and i was alone so i couldn't do that.
I was so embarrassed, my dd is brilliant when we are out and my ds wasnt screaming just babbling loudly. Wibu?

JenniferJareau Sun 14-Apr-19 09:52:23

If they wanted to be moved fine, but they didn't have to be so rude and unpleasant about it.

I agree. I've had to move before due to a loud person (couldn't hear the TV programme I was watching through my headphones as they were so loud) but there was no point saying anything to them as they clearly didn't have a fucking clue about personal space or have any manners. You just quietly move and get on with what you were doing.

MsTSwift Sat 13-Apr-19 15:41:23

Mrex felt the same on a short flight and by far the loudest group were the 30 something men. The big group of mid teen lads on a rugby tour and the small children were beautifully behaved and quiet.

conflicted1234 Sat 13-Apr-19 11:26:05

Ffs how are people defending the horrible couple here. If they wanted to be moved fine, but they didn't have to be so rude and unpleasant about it.

There's no cure for being an arsehole.

animaginativeusername Sat 13-Apr-19 11:22:14

Exactly @MRex have found adults to make more noise, but it's people with children who are targeted.

Plus cafes are never quiet, people are always having to talk louder just to hear each other, and this is when no children there.

More importantly this argument that a babbling child is noisy and disturbing to others, is reminiscent of publicly breastfeeding which can be offensive to others. It's wrong on all accounts, very Victorian where women are forced to stay in the home. Clearly some people are still stuck in the dark ages.

MRex Fri 12-Apr-19 19:39:27

(Apologies for all the missing words and typos.)

MRex Fri 12-Apr-19 19:38:18

I thought about this thread today when I was in a train carriage with a group of men (40s?) were talking loudly enough to wake my baby up from his peaceful nap. There was no point going to the other end of the carriage because a mixed group of older people (60s? 70s) were having a laugh about something. DS(1) quietly looked at his books, then I sat him up and he ate some berry pancake; no noise, no mess and no fuss. We then met friends on a cafe with their older kids who were drawing and talking nicely while having their drink and food. One little one commented quietly about how loud a woman's laugh was, she was on the other side of the cafe. Bloody kids eh! Nobody seemed to be making any effort avoid us either, a few individuals made a beeline for the window seats next to us even though there were other seats available.

bakedbeanzontoast Fri 12-Apr-19 04:18:13

And I can't stand noise etc. They obviously couldn't either. You were there first they could have sat elsewhere or went to another place. No idea why they put themselves in the position they did and then moaned about it 😬

bakedbeanzontoast Fri 12-Apr-19 04:10:11

As PP said, not sure why they sat close to a woman with a kid if they don't like baby noises.

The mind boggles!

jakscrakers Thu 11-Apr-19 18:58:33

The couple were in the wrong, they came and sat near you, not the other way round they had a choice, and they chose to sit so commenting about parents who cant control their children because ds was babbling away was the wrong thing to do, are we supposed to stifle natural noise from children of course not.

As for other posters saying you should have left when your ds was babbling i am shocked at hearing/reading that. If you wish for silence when you are eating or whatever go to the library or stay at home simple ...

MsTSwift Thu 11-Apr-19 15:08:52

There are thoughtless knobs in both “groups” you can’t extrapolate from one cretin that “all parents” behave that way that’s daft.

Butterflyone1 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:36:29

Oh my goodness I can't believe some of these comments. Thankfully I haven't wasted too much time reading them all.

The baby was 9 months old for Christ sake, give the poor OP a break. Hats off to her for taking her children out instead of being copped up indoors.

Do I like being near screaming children, of course not! Who actually likes noisy kids no one. However, the baby is so young you can not expect him to comply to a request to be quick.

If it was the three year old then you might have a little more hope reasoning with her.

EllenMP Thu 11-Apr-19 14:09:36

If the baby wasn't crying or touching them or throwing food their way then they were quite out of order. "Can't control them" ? These must be childless people if they think you can "control" a restless nine month old baby. You did a good thing to take your daughter out even though it's a hassle when you have a baby in tow. Don't let one miserable couple get in your way.

LittleChristmasMouse Thu 11-Apr-19 13:50:24


No I'm talking about an experience reported on this thread by another poster.

animaginativeusername Thu 11-Apr-19 13:47:14

@Ellyess Thankyou, she's coping really well, doesn't go to cinema anymore though from due to a negative experience

Ellyess Thu 11-Apr-19 13:42:29

HenSolo. Please Miss, I'm not lying.

Ellyess Thu 11-Apr-19 13:39:35

I'm not sure I'm talking about the same person as you. You mention
" Out of a completely empty cafe the mother and her child decided to sit next to a PP and disrupt her. The view on here - PP showed have moved."
I've been talking about the OP by Ginnymweasley' She had trouble from people whom she told us,
"A couple came and sat on the table next to us". So the couple who didn't like her baby, whom she was looking after, chose to sit next to her as she was there first.
Sorry if you meant someone else. I was just thinking of the OP.

LaurieMarlow Thu 11-Apr-19 13:31:40

The OP being a paying customer too.

LaurieMarlow Thu 11-Apr-19 13:30:31

Have you thought about the affect your family had on the cafe owners business?

The owner could ban kids if they wanted. I suspect there’s good reason why they don’t.

Dana28 Thu 11-Apr-19 13:29:11

If I walked into a cafe and saw a table with one adult a shouty baby walking round and round and a 3 year-old at it, I would turn around and walk straight out.
Have you thought about the affect your family had on the cafe owners business?

HenSolo Thu 11-Apr-19 13:01:17

Haha that was a bit cheesy sorry I’ve had a lot of coffee today grin

HenSolo Thu 11-Apr-19 12:50:27

Yeah ok well maybe we are all lying about our experiences, in which case, what’s the fecking point.

I think I’m done here too. Enjoy those cafes ladies, and when the haters come along remember we have been there too. Let’s kill em with kindness, because that’s what they hate the most brew

LittleChristmasMouse Thu 11-Apr-19 12:41:50

But you can confirm that the poster who wrote about the situation in Costa was definitely telling the story accurately?

Nope. But I'm not being asked to judge that post.

The OP has changed her own recount of the situation several times. Hence my reticence to judge the situation.

olivesnutsandcheese Thu 11-Apr-19 12:38:13

When my DS was that age I had a fabric high chair that attached to a normal chair. I always carried that when out and about for just that sort of situation and for using at friends houses. That couple were unnecessarily horrible. As if people with two children are not allowed in a cafe!
Sorry the smug mine never uttered a sound parents have given you a hard time op

HenSolo Thu 11-Apr-19 12:38:02

* I have no way of knowing.*

But you can confirm that the poster who wrote about the situation in Costa was definitely telling the story accurately?

LaurieMarlow Thu 11-Apr-19 12:37:09

but about the poster who was doing her work in Costa and who you told should have moved.

It’s aibu. The thrust of the discussion is the OP. It’s not endless whatabouttery and bringing up old posts when it suits you.

But this is my last reply to you because your dog with a bone approach, while initially engaging, has worn me down completely. Best of luck.

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