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Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

(615 Posts)
Harmonyrays Sat 16-Mar-19 10:59:35

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

Mmmmbrekkie Sat 16-Mar-19 11:18:56

So you didn’t help the charity because of this?

Bloody hell YABU

katykins85 Sat 16-Mar-19 11:20:58

Do you even need to ask?! confused

Children should not be taking books and toys off shelves. If they can't manage they stay in a pushchair. Simple.

SenoritaViva Sat 16-Mar-19 11:22:08

I think you weren’t supervising enough. Your daughter should be being taught that that is not what you do in a shop.

She could have said it more nicely but then you could’ve been more thoughtful.

PCohle Sat 16-Mar-19 11:22:50


How was the assistant meant to know "you were just turning around to pick them up"? She's not a mind reader and based on what she had to go on you were a total CF.

Letting you child make merry hell with toys all over the floor whilst you browse the books isn't really on.

The assistant volunteers his/her time to help the charity, they're not a skivvy for other people's kids

ralphfromlordoftheflies Sat 16-Mar-19 11:23:30

I bet it wasn't 3 toys and I bet you weren't just about to go and pick them up.

Desperateforspring Sat 16-Mar-19 11:24:10

OP charity shops are brilliant places to try toys . I've brought countless toys from charity shops and always my DC have happily played with them there and other toys. As I'm, like you were picking up after

Totally ridiculous. Maybe someone had been in and left DC to actually wreck it but if that's the case put a sign out. ..

DC welcome too play here but please put toys away after!!

adaline Sat 16-Mar-19 11:24:13


Drives me nuts when parents just let their children play with things in shops like that.

Savoury99 Sat 16-Mar-19 11:25:16

I think she sounded like a miserable cow and could have been more polite but I wouldn't have let my toddler get the toys.

Aridane Sat 16-Mar-19 11:26:06


Plus the fact that it was a charity shop doesn’t give you a free reign to supervise your child to a lesser extent

Afternooninthepark Sat 16-Mar-19 11:26:27

YABU, my dsis was a manager of a charity shop. You would not believe how people treated the place. They would wreck displays, leave crap in the changing rooms (including human excrement!!) and barter on prices. That poor shop assistant was probably a volunteer and fed up clearing up after people. Children should be taught not to play in shops they are items for sale after all, shops are not play areas. Do you think it’s ok because it’s a charity shop? Would you allow her to do this in Tesco or M&S?

blue25 Sat 16-Mar-19 11:26:51

Uh you're one of those parents. You think your child making a mess and causing a nuisance is just "what kids do." It isn't. Have some respect for those around you & stop indulging your child.

mimibunz Sat 16-Mar-19 11:28:03

A three year old is old enough to understand that they aren’t allowed to touch anything in the shop. YABU.

Skyejuly Sat 16-Mar-19 11:28:31

Indont think you are being unreasonable. I think she was rude.

Desperateforspring Sat 16-Mar-19 11:29:05

We have so many charity shops round here, all of them allow DC to touch the toys!! Some have little seating areas as well.

Maybe you need to contact the manager and say it maybe a better idea to create a little play area for toddler too try the toys as that's the way to increase sales.

I've spent fortune's in charity shops when DC little. One in particular was brilliant! I could browse, she could browse!

YouTheCat Sat 16-Mar-19 11:29:11

If your child is young enough that they don't understand that they can't pull things off displays, then maybe you should supervise them more closely instead of going off to look at the books?

Plurabelle Sat 16-Mar-19 11:29:24

The shops are also often understaffed.

So if somebody has to go over and tidy up after a parent who doesn't supervise the child, that means the till gets left unattended and/or there is less time to restock the shelves.

LettuceP Sat 16-Mar-19 11:29:38

YABU I'm afraid. I might let my kids pick something up off a shelf in a shop (not breakable so yes toys would be fine) to have a look but it needs to be put back in its place as soon as they've finished looking. You can't just let your kid take toys off the shelves and dump them on the floor, even for a couple of minutes. Teach your child to be respectful.

Desperateforspring Sat 16-Mar-19 11:30:49

All charity shops in my area are Very hands on for toys and DC being able too touch them is one reason they are brilliant. .. it's after all secon hand goods.. often not cleaned... and sometimes incomplete with broken bits.

trancepants Sat 16-Mar-19 11:31:18

YABU on several levels. Odds are the shop assistant was a volunteer rather than staff. She was the one not just helping the charity but enabling you to have access to cheaper goods and helping to reduce the impact of over-consumption on the planet. She owed you nothing for your potential 'help' to the charity of buying something you wanted for a low price.

lozster Sat 16-Mar-19 11:31:30

I don’t know if you are ‘one of those parents’ but the fact it was a charity shop makes a difference. The toys are out not packaged so playing with them is easier and less disruptive than in The Entertainer and you hadn’t walked off when the comment was made. Also, the ‘assistant’ was likely a volunteer so not finessed in customer service hence over the top and a bit rude.

Harmonyrays Sat 16-Mar-19 11:31:46

So daughter is 1, doesnt really understand the etiquette of good behaviour in shops. Ive worked in shops, m and s, funnily enough, and if a child got a toy out or left something on the floor then i wouldnt have spoken to a customer in that way. It seemed very rude. I agree its not a playground but in charity shops the toys are all opened and 'ready' to play with hence it makes it more difficult to prevent them from going at them. It was 2 teddies and a tray confused

HotpotLawyer Sat 16-Mar-19 11:31:54

Sorry OP, I don’t think you should ever let a toddler get anything off a shelf by themselves in any shop.

furrybadger Sat 16-Mar-19 11:33:03

Tbh I would have probably said the same, nothing more annoying, teach your child to look not touch, this was always drummed into me as a child

minipie Sat 16-Mar-19 11:34:00

Hmm I think there’s a difference between letting your young child try out a toy while supervised (ok) and letting them get several out while you’re looking at something else (not ok). The latter has a high chance of breakages, tripping up other people etc.

That said - she was rude.

havingtochangeusernameagain Sat 16-Mar-19 11:34:23

YABU. Small kids do wreck shops (and libraries) and their lazy parents (usually mothers) smile and look indulgent. I think the member of staff was perfectly fair. Keep an eye on your kids and don't let them touch stuff on the shelves.

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