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Man doing my pedicure

(280 Posts)
eyesbiggerthanstomach Tue 12-Mar-19 16:24:53

I'm having a rubbish day so maybe am being super sensitive but not sure. There is a nail bar I regularly go to. A few men work there but it's mainly women. Usually one of the women does my pedicure. I have had one or two of the men do it in the past too.

Anyway, am currently getting one done by a man and I'm feeling really uncomfortable. I can't explain why. Maybe because he is slow and so every touch feels like it's lasting ages but I'm not enjoying it.

Is it unreasonable to specify a woman does it in future?

Weetabixandshreddies Thu 14-Mar-19 13:56:39

This is called an occupational requirement. This includes some jobs which require someone of a particular sex for reasons of privacy and decency or where personal services are provided.

These are the grounds given by that link.

Would a pedicure really count as reasons of privacy or decency or a personal service?

JessicaWakefieldSVH Thu 14-Mar-19 13:31:06

This is relevant to EA and sex discrimination. There is nothing in the law to prevent anyone from requesting a specific sex for services or care that requires touching a persons body. I would imagine most sensible people would realise it’s an infringement of someone’s bodily autonomy, and most would consider it reasonable for all the reasons outlined in this thread.

www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/advice-and-guidance/sex-discrimination

Weetabixandshreddies Thu 14-Mar-19 13:09:59

Has anyone ever tested the EA over a matter like this?

I really can't believe that having a pedicure is one of the reasons for protected characteristics being exempted.

Surely if anyone feels strongly about this then they need to find a manicurist/ beautician that they are happy with a book direct?

Personally, I'm more concerned about the welfare of anyone having to work in these nail bars. A large number of whom are trafficked.

JessicaWakefieldSVH Thu 14-Mar-19 10:06:55

Cheerio, you’re just not quite able to keep up with this are you? Not wanting a man to touch you, is not an accusation. It’s a preference, or a precaution or a way of limiting anxiety due to past trauma. If you can’t understand that, you are being very dim.

Ghanagirl Thu 14-Mar-19 09:42:24

@Biancadelrioisback
I also have a black son whose is older than yours and I abhor racism and agree that we do face a struggle as they get older BUT I still have the right to ask for a female to perform intimate examinations or a pedicure. I’m teaching him to respect others personal boundaries.

CheerioHunter Thu 14-Mar-19 07:44:51

See the difference? What a stupid comment.

Oh yes, because it was a male touching her feet. The bloody intimidating sex pest doing his job. Grrrr

Ghanagirl Thu 14-Mar-19 07:43:16

@Babycham1979
It’s not the same and your post makes me think your racist

origamiunicorn Thu 14-Mar-19 07:40:03

It’s always so disappointing to read women having zero regard for other women’s boundaries. Also implying hatred of men because of imposing boundaries. Makes me feel nauseous!

Yep we are always blaming men yet we are part of the problem too.

JessicaWakefieldSVH Thu 14-Mar-19 07:23:17

CheerioHunter a driving instructor shouldn’t be touching you or giving you an internal exam. See the difference? What a stupid comment.

Paddington68 Thu 14-Mar-19 07:03:09

If I'm in A and E I'll be giving no fcuk at all as to the gender of the doctor or nurses looking after me. If they can sort me out I don't care if it's a trained gorilla.
I don't care if a vicar is male or female, or the person who serves me in a shop.
If the OP prefers a lady or man to do her nails I think that's fair comment, it is up to her. I think she''s wrong but it is up to her.

teyem Thu 14-Mar-19 06:45:45

*I know exactly what you mean.
I felt the same when I was having driving lessons and one week a female instructor turned up.
Like you, I was paying, I felt uncomfortable so just ask for who you want........*

This really isn't the educated gotcha that you think it is for all of the reasons that have been raised that you are unwilling or incapable of understanding.

NKFell Thu 14-Mar-19 03:23:33

Anyone who asks "Why?" or argues about it, is unlikely to ever understand. so true @OccasionalKite and this thread is proof.

It’s always so disappointing to read women having zero regard for other women’s boundaries. Also implying hatred of men because of imposing boundaries. Makes me feel nauseous!

OccasionalKite Thu 14-Mar-19 00:19:32

OP, please do specify next time that you wish to be treated by a woman, not a man.

You don't need to explain anything. Just state the bare fact - that you wish to be treated by a woman, not a man. Anyone who asks "Why?" or argues about it, is unlikely to ever understand.

CheerioHunter Wed 13-Mar-19 23:49:29

Is it unreasonable to specify a woman does it in future?

I know exactly what you mean.
I felt the same when I was having driving lessons and one week a female instructor turned up.
Like you, I was paying, I felt uncomfortable so just ask for who you want............. 🙄

//Sarcasm.

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap Wed 13-Mar-19 23:42:41

It's absolutely shocking to accuse a medical professional to be some kind of pervert and refuse a smear test or other from a man

How stupid and insular can one woman be? hmm We have the right to determine who sticks instruments or fingers inside us ffs. We are not accusing them all of being "perverts" (even this word tells me all about your world view, such as it is) we have bodily autonomy and can decide to have a female do medical treatments for ANY reason we choose.
<and yes, women have been sexually assaulted by medical professionals, in case you didn't know confused>

LimeKiwi Wed 13-Mar-19 17:48:33

What @Biancadelrioisback said.

Bluestitch Wed 13-Mar-19 17:46:34

So how are so many of you able to refuse a male nail technician without falling foul of the equality act?

Well nobody can be compelled to accept treatment from someone so I guess the salon can tell the customer to get lost if they don't want to accommodate the request, and then the customer can take their business elsewhere if they wish.

JessicaWakefieldSVH Wed 13-Mar-19 17:44:12

1st rule of misogyny: Women are responsible for what men do.

2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.

3rd rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.

4th rule of misogyny: Women's opinions are violence against men thus male violence against women is justified.

5th rule of misogyny: WATM! Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.

6th rule of misogyny: Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breast feeding babies deserve punishment.

7th rule of misogyny: Women should always be grateful to men for everything.

8th rule of misogyny: Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.

9th rule of misogyny: Men always know the "real reasons" for everything women do and say.

10th rule of misogyny: The worst thing about male violence is that it males men look bad.

11th rule of misogyny: Basic pattern recognition skills are cruel and evil when they hurt men's feelings.

12th rule of misogyny: whatever women suffer from, men suffer from more.

13th rule of misogyny: Women are not oppressed! Rape and catcalling and objectification are all compliments, not oppression.

14th rule of misogyny: Women have all the rights they need: The right to remain silent.

Just a reminder. I’ve bolded the ones observed on this thread.

JessicaWakefieldSVH Wed 13-Mar-19 17:39:44

It's not just women who have preferences

Definitely not. It is only women who will get other women calling them sexist hateful bigoted bitches though.

PrettyBelle Wed 13-Mar-19 17:39:37

no one sane wants to have their legs akimbo in front of anyone, male or female!

Well, of course. But if I have to, for a medical procedure, I may prefer a woman. For the same reason why I want to use female changing rooms instead of undressing in front of men. Again, no explanation should be needed there.

Bluestitch Wed 13-Mar-19 17:39:30

It's absolutely shocking to accuse a medical professional to be some kind of pervert and refuse a smear test or other from a man

You think it's shocking that a woman might request a female to carry out an intimate examination? I requested a female GP recently when I wanted a breast lump examined, is that shocking too, despite it being compatible with NHS policy?

BigChocFrenzy Wed 13-Mar-19 17:37:08

It's not just womeb who have preferences.

A colleague wouldn't visit his GP to have his testicular pain investigated, because she was a woman
I told him he could request one of the men GPs and noone would be offended
He did so

teyem Wed 13-Mar-19 17:36:39

I'm sure your comprehension skills afford you the capacity to consider my whole point...

teyem Wed 13-Mar-19 17:35:44

What a disingenuous point disorganised.

thedisorganisedmum Wed 13-Mar-19 17:34:36

I just don't want to have my legs akimbo in front of a strange man.

no one sane wants to have their legs akimbo in front of anyone, male or female!

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