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I GENUINELY dont know if i am or not....

(132 Posts)
Penninepain Sun 16-Dec-18 15:44:46

This story could take a year to tell, so keeping it short.

Relative was in Carol Concert last night.
We live very, very rurally. 2.5 miles to B road ( after getting down half mile ungritted driveway).
We had said we were going, but had freezing rain and snow last night, so rang and let them know we could not get there.

To say we have been fucked over by not going is an understatement.

However, despite the Huuuuuge background, i want to ask a simple question:

AIBU not to risk life and limb to attend a carol concert 26 miles away when i am:
A. Snowed in and iced over
B. To fecking old to drive in shite weather

This person is exceptionally pissed off. I thought we were being sensible. What think you?

KitKat1985 Sun 16-Dec-18 15:46:30

In principle I'd say YANBU. Who is the relative to you?

MrsSpenserGregson Sun 16-Dec-18 15:47:31

YANBU

FissionChips Sun 16-Dec-18 15:48:31

YANBU!

Sethos Sun 16-Dec-18 15:49:31

Freezing rain is extremely dangerous and the advice is not to drive in it. YANBU at all.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sun 16-Dec-18 15:50:09

We need to know why you were fucked over. You went from ‘it’s a long story’ to hardly any info at all.

BoebePhuffay Sun 16-Dec-18 15:50:30

How have you been fucked over?

halfwitpicker Sun 16-Dec-18 15:51:37

Yes, how have you been fucked over? In their reaction to you?

busybarbara Sun 16-Dec-18 15:51:37

It's a carol concert, they need to get a grip. See the recent thread about visiting MIL vs keeping a food delivery slot, everyone choose the delivery slot!

AlpacaLypse Sun 16-Dec-18 15:51:58

Yanbu, I wouldn't have driven anywhere except in an emergency last night.

margaritasbythesea Sun 16-Dec-18 15:52:09

It seems to me that anyone fucking anyone else over about a Carol Concert has to be unreasonable. It sounds very odd. Need to know more.

halfwitpicker Sun 16-Dec-18 15:52:14

Haven't seen that one, Barbara, but it sounds promising grin

MsMamaNature Sun 16-Dec-18 15:52:50

They aren't my idea of a friend if they wanted you to risk life and limb travelling in awful weather just to hear them sing. A true friend would have contacted you beforehand and told you not to come due to the weather.

JacquesHammer Sun 16-Dec-18 15:56:20

They are being unreasonable.

You were sensible.

I mean seriously, it’s a carol concert.

Penninepain Sun 16-Dec-18 15:57:15

Arrrrgh @KitKat1985 and there lies the rub.

He is my step father, mum is dead. I am picking him up on Xmas morning, bringing him here, taking him home the day after Boxing Day and acting all Christmassy, but doing it because I cannot bear the thought of him sitting in a flat, all on his own.
I do not like him. I never have. BUT, i do feel sorry for him, being all alone. He was devoted to my mum. I feel i need to make the effort,
However, having rung hime this morning, apparantly EVERYONE managed to get to Carol Con ert because it was 'only raining'.
NOT WHERE I WAS FFS.
He clearly does not believe me. I honestly wish he would go to my step brother or sister for Xmas ( both his own children), but they go to in laws, and although he has been invited in the past, he will not go.

I am the most welcoming person you could wish to meet, but i feel so incandescent with outrage (!) Over the reaction to not making the carol concert it has really upset me.
Pathetic eh?

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 16-Dec-18 15:57:16

To say we have been fucked over by not going is an understatement.
How have you been fucked over OP?fconfused

ChesterGreySideboard Sun 16-Dec-18 16:01:10

I still don’t see how you have been ‘fucked over’.

He’s pissed off but that’s all. Don’t have him over for Christmas if he’s such an arse and you don’t like him.

pinkwintersky Sun 16-Dec-18 16:03:47

YANBU

Bluntness100 Sun 16-Dec-18 16:04:09

I still don't understand how you've been massively fucked over. Sounds like he's just a bit upset you didn't make it.

You need to explain more. Do you understand what fucked over means?

jessstan2 Sun 16-Dec-18 16:04:53

He'll get over it op. I'm sure he could actually check the weather conditions at the time for where you live. You were right not to drive in those conditions.

I do think he'll be OK by Christmas though, he was just disappointed but rather childish.

Penninepain Sun 16-Dec-18 16:05:32

@DioneTheDiabolist, soory, its difficult to know how much shit to include in initial post.

My step dad and step brother ( who made it to the concert), agree that it was 'just a bit of rain' last night and i was making an excuse to not go.
We live in the middle of nowhere. The main roads may be fine, bht it is getting to them that is the problem.
When i say we have been fucked over for not going, my name is mud at the moment. I said i was going, then cancelled for no good reason. Step father was very very upset - i clearly do not care that he is alone, lonely and needs support. Step brother and step sister are disappointed that i did not make n effort to get there. Step brother did. Step sister did not, but she lives 200 miles away, so fair play.

I dont care about step sister, but love my step brother. However, it is becoming increasingly obvious that he enjoys stoking the flames......

I just feel so pissed off, teary, fed up.

Bluntness100 Sun 16-Dec-18 16:07:01

Honestly it all sounds a bit drama llama and over the top. From all of you.

Sarahjconnor Sun 16-Dec-18 16:08:18

I don't understand this, I really don't.

You know it was too dangerous to travel so you didn't but he is acting in an unreasonable manner. You aren't fond of him so just leave it and suggest he makes different plans for xmas and distance yourself.

You are trying too hard to make him like you and treat you with respect, just stop and enjoy your own xmas.

onalongsabbatical Sun 16-Dec-18 16:09:56

He doesn't believe you were telling the truth that it was too dangerous to drive? Time YOU got angry with HIM OP. A bit of the old 'How dare you imply I'm lying. How would you feel if we'd slid off the road and ended up upside down in a ditch? What's WRONG with you, FIL?'
I can see why, but it sounds like you're too nice to him.

Belindabauer Sun 16-Dec-18 16:11:00

Sorry I thought you were going to say it was 2.5 miles away and I would have said yanbu.
26 miles away!!!
For a Carol concert!!!
Risking life and limb!!!!
Sorry I would not have driven that far to see a young Brad Pitt under those conditions (well perhaps I might have tried).

Hell no, I know what it's like to live rurally and snow and ice is a nightmare.

I am in awe of your house op, it sounds wonderful, misses point of thread, turns misty eyed, dreams of log fires and vast country mansions.

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