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Do you ever feel physically drained after speaking to someone?

(130 Posts)
Bukkaroo Tue 21-Mar-17 15:54:30

I don't know if IABU or not but after being around some people or chatting to them I feel physically drained and just can't wait to get them to stop talking because I feel like they're making me feel ill. I know that sounds over dramatic and wondered if anyone else has ever felt the same?

ImperialBlether Tue 21-Mar-17 15:56:08

I feel like that. I can feel the life force leaving my body! But "losing the will to live" is a common enough expression, so I assumed a lot of people feel this at times.

Universitychallenging Tue 21-Mar-17 15:58:01


I have to psyche (is that how you spell it) myself up to ring some family members and kind of gear myself not to react

StarryIllusion Tue 21-Mar-17 15:59:23

I have a friend like this. Sometimes I can't wait to get away as she just physically and emotionally drains me. She is always asking me to go on holiday with her and I have to keep making excuses as I would honestly end up killing her. I love her to bits but small doses...

QueenInsomnia Tue 21-Mar-17 16:00:46

Yes, I have to mentally prepare when I arrange to meet most some people as I'm so mentally drained after. YANBU!

abigamarone Tue 21-Mar-17 16:01:19

Yeah, get this sometimes. It's when they almost have a compulsion to talk, they don't pause for breath, there's no conversation they just carry on and on. It's exhausting to listen to.

MrsJayy Tue 21-Mar-17 16:02:12

Yes some people can be draining i can think of a few that exhaust me I tend to cut conversations short or wait for the right moment and change the subject.

Bukkaroo Tue 21-Mar-17 16:02:15

I have one family member who tends to rant in a high pitched tone and I swear I get a headache and start to feel physically ill and exhausted just hearing it. Like being around her takes so much of my energy it actually makes me ill.

Notsandwiches Tue 21-Mar-17 16:02:23

Energy vampires

uncoolnn Tue 21-Mar-17 16:03:26

I have a work colleague like this. We actually get on relatively well.. but in very small doses grin

FaithAgain Tue 21-Mar-17 16:03:36

Oh yes, MIL is like this. She is narcissistic and quite toxic. Last time she came to stay she was here 48 hours, it took us a week to recover!

JennyOnAPlate Tue 21-Mar-17 16:04:15

Yes I have a friend like this. I've had to take a step back and evaluate how much time I spend with her blush I completely recognise that it's probably my issue not hers though!

The80sweregreat Tue 21-Mar-17 16:04:16

I think, with me at any rate, its who i am seeing! certain people have this draining effect and its usually the ones that like it to be 'all about them' and not that interested in anything i am doing or saying. Others i can tolerate better really - there are a few that are really nice to catch up with as its a two way conversation, but most are demanding so its nice when i can come home and sit in peace for half an hour! The self absorbed ones are the worse though.

pictish Tue 21-Mar-17 16:06:11

Yes occasionally...particularly when it's someone who requires a lot of attention or validation.

Wannabehermit Tue 21-Mar-17 16:06:22

Yes, my mother. To be fair she has had a horrendous couple of years and whilst my brother has helped her enormously with sorting practical stuff out, he won't listen to the emotional outpouring, that is my role. I love her dearly but sometimes it's draining.

I'll do it for my mum but i have let one or two friends drift out of my life when they are constantly negative.

Gingerbreadmam Tue 21-Mar-17 16:06:36

definitely. ill might not be the right word but i always come away exhausted and wondering why i bother.

The80sweregreat Tue 21-Mar-17 16:06:56

.. does anyone else have a friend or relative who has to tell you the story of whatever happened from the moment it happened to the conclusion without cutting it short - in other words a 'blow by blow' account of what went down, how it was ( or wasnt) resolved, or who said what to whom? I always try to make things short - the short version is the best in my book , get to the point ( if i can) this is impossible for some people!

MrsMoastyToasty Tue 21-Mar-17 16:07:37

I get that at work. Most of our clients speak very little English and it's draining trying to explain things in a way that they may understand when I don't speak their language.

MrsJayy Tue 21-Mar-17 16:07:41

It is phsyc just for future reference wink but yes phsycing yourself up is a good way to see it.

MrsJayy Tue 21-Mar-17 16:09:10

the80s have you met my husband grin

Thinkingblonde Tue 21-Mar-17 16:09:46

Yes, my sis in law, she's lovely but hard to talk to. It's hard to explain, she's well educated, got degrees and everything but having a conversation with her is like knitting fog.
Face to face every sentence is a long drawn out affair, with gaps and pauses. She has a habit of blinking really fast yet sometimes sort of flickers her eye lids as she pauses for breath. At first it looked as though she was going to pass out, which used to scare me shitless but I have got used to that now.
I am exhausted after a convo with her. One of her daughters is the same, one of my girls met her cousin socially a few days ago.
My daughter said "I saw xxxxxx out last night. GOD! She's hard work".

ffauxlivia Tue 21-Mar-17 16:10:51

Yes, that's classic introversion - this is every day for me.

Generally speaking extroverts get energy from being around other people and introverts feel drained by it. Certain people are worse than others so I purposefully limit my time with them; no matter how much I may care for them I will need a break to recharge!

Meekonsandwich Tue 21-Mar-17 16:11:29

They are called energy vampires

It's a real thing and they're people who feed off the energy of other people, they're often hard to deal with and willmakeyou feel exhausted after just a conversation. Best remedy is minimising contact

The80sweregreat Tue 21-Mar-17 16:11:44

ha ha! no mate, but i know what you mean if he is like this ! ( i also feel like saying to some people ' please, get to the point' but i am not that rude and these are people i do care about - but just not enough to say that when they are telling me about the episode with their dog from last friday week ( or was it the week before>) up until an hour ago! then it turns out to be nothing in the end anyway.. lol

Raffles1981 Tue 21-Mar-17 16:12:21

I work with someone who never.stops.talking. Her favourite subject is herself, her car, her house, her drinking habit, her drug use....its so boring. And emotionally draining. After eight hours of her drivel, I feel the need to was my ears out with soap. She drivels on non stop and talks over you. She introduces her 'Audi' into every conversation - it is mental. Some people are just hard work.

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