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To think this is suspicious

(148 Posts)
Fireandflames666 Mon 13-Feb-17 10:13:01

Partner has been messaging woman from work, old messages have been deleted but i managed to seenone this morning saying

"Hello Mrs, hope you're ok today? x "

I hope I'm bu.

LindyHemming Mon 13-Feb-17 10:15:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreatFuckability Mon 13-Feb-17 10:15:36

Depends why he's been messaging? In itself that's a pretty innocuous message.

Fireandflames666 Mon 13-Feb-17 10:18:49

Male partner messaging woman since Christmas (work night out). I've questioned him about it and that's when the deleting messages started. He's been on his phone non stop too, all smiley whilst on it.

Not sure if she has any issues.

LindyHemming Mon 13-Feb-17 10:28:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Celticlassie Mon 13-Feb-17 10:31:12

'Mrs' is quite generic, I wouldn't say it seems like he's interested in? Wouldn't like the deleting though.

DontTouchTheMoustache Mon 13-Feb-17 10:34:02

All put together sounds very suspicious. I say this as someone who was cheated on. I hope it's innocent...

Inneedofaholiday2017 Mon 13-Feb-17 10:36:10

Yes it's suspicious sorry.

Ask him if you can see the messages and/or to please stop messaging her unless it's about work. If there's no need to contact her he shouldn't be.

Most likely just emotional at this stage but I would want it to stop

Wonderflonium Mon 13-Feb-17 10:44:32

I delete messages as a matter of course to save space on my phone.

sandragreen Mon 13-Feb-17 10:46:35

Yes, when you put it all together it doesn't look good.

You say you have questioned him - did he say he would stop? I wouldn't tolerate this to be honest, non stop on his phone, messaging OW, deleting the messages. Up to you though.............

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Mon 13-Feb-17 10:46:54

What kind of messages?

Are they always along the lines of "Hello Mrs, hope you're ok today? " As I see nothing in that at all and it wouldn't bother me.

I delete all texts unless from dh to save space on my phone for work emails & apps

Purplebluebird Mon 13-Feb-17 10:47:37

I delete messages to save space as well, especially on whatsapp. I ask my male friends if they are ok and end it with "x" as well, so don't think it necessarily is anything to worry about.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Mon 13-Feb-17 10:51:15

If you smell a rat, there generally is one.

NavyandWhite Mon 13-Feb-17 10:51:42

That particular message isn't dubious in its own but the fact he's been messaging her since Christmas, is always on his phone and deletes messages to/from her is.

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 13-Feb-17 10:52:46

I would be deleting my personal conversations with friends if someone in my life was reading them and questioning me.

I'm an adult and can decide who to talk to and what's appropreate or not.

Purplebluebird Mon 13-Feb-17 10:59:26

Same as NeedsAsock . I delete messages if I know my other half is reading, because quite frankly I like to have privacy when talking to my friends - male and female. Thankfully my other half does not (to my knowledge) check my conversations, though he has done in the past.

CallMeMaybe Mon 13-Feb-17 11:02:16

I used to delete messages on my phone because my h used to snoop through my phone to read my messages and then question me about their content so he could accuse me of having an affair.

That message in itself seems perfectly harmless. Also, I don't buy into the comment that 'unless he has a reason to message her then he shouldn't.' Who is the arbiter of what is a valid reason for being allowed to message someone? hmm.

chocatoo Mon 13-Feb-17 11:04:49

I'm afraid that I do think it is suspicious. I hope it's not. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing a bit of snooping. Good luck.

NavyandWhite Mon 13-Feb-17 11:05:40

DH doesn't look at my messages or emails nor me his. But we both could do if we wished. Nobody deletes anything. If he suddenly started deleting stuff that would be odd and it would make me wonder why.

LittleRed90 Mon 13-Feb-17 11:18:51

In black and white terms, if your OH is texting another woman, constantly on his phone, all smiley etc, it doesn't look good, does it?

All well and good people saying they delete messages and respect privacy etc but your OH needs to respect your marriage. The fact that he's made you feel so insecure, you've taken to a MN forum speaks volumes. I would be having a very frank conversation with him and if he is a decent human being, he'll explain the situation and put your mind at ease.

LittleRed90 Mon 13-Feb-17 11:20:44

Also, if my OH approached me and said he felt uneasy that I was messaging a colleague, I'd keep the messages to reassure him. Nothing else I could do, really? You're either happy with your partner feeling insecure or you're not and do anything to help the situation?

MagicMoments22 Mon 13-Feb-17 11:28:48

My DH best friend sends me these type of txt messages with x on the end. We are most definitely not having an affair but at the same time I dont keep them secret from my DH and we have been known to be having four way conversations via txt - his GF included

You need more info

MyWineTime Mon 13-Feb-17 11:44:21

If you smell a rat, there generally is one.
That is utter rubbish. My ex constantly found reasons to suspect me of being unfaithful - I never was.
Some people see suspicious behaviour where there is none.

LovelyJubly111 Mon 13-Feb-17 11:59:10

I'm one of the few who believe men and women can be just friends. So no, if all he's done so far is laugh at jokes from a woman from his work I doubt there's a need to start filing the divorce papers yet...

Fireandflames666 Mon 13-Feb-17 12:21:59

It's the deleting that's making me think twice.

When i mention it he tells me that it's like he "can't have female friends".

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