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To be annoyed by the delivery man?

(141 Posts)
dontpullyourbrotherswilly Fri 10-Feb-17 14:34:04

I know I am BU actually but still feel annoyed!
The delivery man (who has been delivering parcels here for a while) yesterday decided to address me by my first name.
Why? I don't know your name why the bloody heck should you address me by my first name (or any name, but the use of first name by strangers always grates me)?! To me delivery situation is very simple- no need to use anyone's name (unless id required for passport or similar). Not saying I'm usually rude, I obviously thank the person and sometimes there's comments about weather etc that's quite usual i think.
Then he came back today- firsty he rang the doorbell and immediately banged on the door which is frustrating as LO napping but obviously he wouldn't have known that.
Then he told me i look tired today !
Since when is it ok for a virtual stranger to tell you that you look crap basically??!?
Makes me irrationally angry right now!

Please tell me I'm being ridiculous and how would you react in similar situations??
Next time hold out my hand and say " nice to meet you and your name is?"
"You look shit too, thanks!"

I'm just about done with my unreasonable rant!

Katy07 Fri 10-Feb-17 14:39:45

You're being ridiculous, he's attempting to be friendly. Just say 'morning' or whatever, and make a friendly comment. Even I can manage that & I struggle with social situations, particularly conversations with no warning like this.

gamerchick Fri 10-Feb-17 14:39:54

He's just trying to be nice/friendly.

Although I do want you to tell him he looks shit too and then come back here and tell us what happened then grin

hearyoume Fri 10-Feb-17 14:44:16

I hate overfamiliarity OP. Like when the bank ask "is it ok to call you Jane today?" and I want to say "well no actually" but I also don't want to be a massive bitch.

dontpullyourbrotherswilly Fri 10-Feb-17 14:46:15

Eaxactly how i feel hearyou

picklemepopcorn Fri 10-Feb-17 14:47:52

He's trying to make a human connection. It could be a pretty isolated job (not your problem) and potentially a bit weird seeing random strangers in their dressing gowns etc.

AshesandDust Fri 10-Feb-17 14:48:15

I'm with you on this OP.
Delivery drivers, who are complete strangers to me, demanding my name pisses me right off - they don't need it (I checked with their head office) and in these times of identity theft etc it makes me feel very vulnerable.

Ilovecaindingle Fri 10-Feb-17 14:50:01

Maybe you don't look as shit as you think you do and he was being nice because you are nice?

BrowsOnFleek Fri 10-Feb-17 14:53:40

I think you're making a mountain over a molehill. He's clearly just trying to be nice by making conversation. I doubt his hidden agenda is to piss you off. Just sign for the parcel and close the door - not a big deal.

gamerchick Fri 10-Feb-17 14:53:44

Ringing head office to check? confused

Man the sooner we have robots delivering our parcels the better. No human contact seems to be the future.

KurriKurri Fri 10-Feb-17 14:55:29

I wouldn't be bothered by it - my postman where I used to live called me by my first name (and I used his).

I often chat to the people who deliver my online shopping. But I'm nosy and like to here about other people's lives (round here they are often from various different countries and I like hearing about it) but I am retired have the time and inclination for a chat - if you don't and have small baby then I can see it would be irritating.

But I don't think he's being deliberately rude - I think he is trying to be friendly, and some of his other customers might encourage it - so he has mistakenly assumed everyone is similar.

Greyponcho Fri 10-Feb-17 14:56:51

makes me irrationally angry right now

^ this. It's irrational.

Just someone doing a tedious job trying to be nice and engaging in conversation.

TheAtheist Fri 10-Feb-17 14:57:18

No, YANBU, this would annoy me too.

Society seems to be moving further towards the 'let it all hang out' and of the spectrum. It's ok to have standards and to expect people (esp strangers) to respect them.

TheAtheist Fri 10-Feb-17 14:58:44

end of the spectrum

DameXanaduBramble Fri 10-Feb-17 14:59:38

You sound like Mrs Bouquet. But the Bucket version.

123rd Fri 10-Feb-17 14:59:57

I actually don't like being called Mrs 123rd. What difference does it make if I'm booking my car in for a service or making a restaurant reservation if I'm married or not. Just first name and surname thank you

statetrooperstacey Fri 10-Feb-17 15:00:26

Ashes really?! They probably already know your name if They are delivering parcels to you? They just need 'the person who answers the doors' name to put in their little machine. If they wanted to steal your identity they could quite easily already.

Op- he thinks he knows you. He sees your name all the time and when he is sorting his deliveries in order in his head he. Is thinking 1 parcel for Jon smith lettsbe avenue, 1box for dontpullyourbrithers willy crown street, etc. he thinks of you in his head by your name if that makes sense. Maybe he is flirting a bit?! Certainly being friendly.
I am quite with you on the looking tired thing though. I get this a lotsad it's very fucking rude!

KurriKurri Fri 10-Feb-17 15:01:29

I don't think a delivery driver being friendly is indication that society is going to hell in a handcart confused

My standards are if someone is friendly to me, however clumsily they may go about it (we are not all social geniuses) I respond in a friendly manner.
I don't think I have poor standards. I think I am polite and pleasant.

Silverdream Fri 10-Feb-17 15:03:37

Dpd delivered a parcel this week which I signed for. I was cleaning my car at the time. He said 'good morning how are you this morning'. I laughed said ' grumpy I think I have a leak in my boot'.
He walked up to my car fiddled with the seal and lugs. Told me he used to work for A car company and spent many an hour trying to work out where leaks were coming from. He said that was a common cause , I hope it's worked and then drove off to his next delivery.
Being friendly makes you feel nice and can sometimes be unexpectedly useful.

RB68 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:05:13

I would have said - yes child just asleep - although I think not for long given your racket.

In reality just ask him to only ring or only knock no banging and not both

Weedsnseeds1 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:06:49

I'm not bothered if they get my name right, however I have a name which, although not especially exotic is quite rare in the UK. After asking my name or looking at delivery details , the conversation normally goes along the lines of
"OK, Charlotte, you don't mind me calling you Charlotte, do you?"
"I'm not called Charlotte"
"Oh, sorry Clare"
"I'm not called Clare either" .....

TheAtheist Fri 10-Feb-17 15:07:37

My standards are if someone is friendly to me, however clumsily they may go about it (we are not all social geniuses) I respond in a friendly manner

If everyone 'lets go' inappropriate behaviour, then it ceases to be inappropriate and crosses over into being a new norm.

Then a new, even lower standard becomes the new 'inappropriate', until enough people let that go too and it becomes a new norm

and so on, and so on.

Hell in a handcart may be a bit hysterical, but yes I do think that societies standards are slipping and have been for some time. My grandparents would have been utterly horrified by behaviour such as OP describes, but today we are somehow supposed to accept it as being ok?

Waterfeature Fri 10-Feb-17 15:08:13

I get you OP.

One person's "friendly" is another person's "inappropriate and forward".

Back to "Good morning Ms OP" in my book!!

alltouchedout Fri 10-Feb-17 15:11:12

Are you serious?
I thought people like you had died out ages ago.

TheAtheist Fri 10-Feb-17 15:12:03

I thought people like you had died out ages ago.

Only on MN wink

The real world is full of people with boundaries.

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