My DH has form for being lazy and used to be a compulsive liar (had counselling in September so I have to assume all things are ok in that respect now). I've posted about him on here before, under a different username. Decided to NC for good as the previous one was easy to work out.
Anyway. He started a new job in July and has 6 months' probation. During probation he doesn't get sick pay. He had a couple of sick days over the past few months, one for a cold and one for a bad back, and he claims he didn't know he didn't get sick pay.
He's now been off since Thursday, and will probably be off the rest of the week. He was diagnosed yesterday with a chest infection and has antibiotics. Has a pretty gross cough.
For reference, he has failed probation two previous times - once directly because of taking time off sick when he hurt his back - resulting in us having next to no income for months at a time. I'm a SAHM trying to start freelancing, so I'm not really able to contribute to finances on a regular basis, though since August I've put all my earnings (about £1,500) into the JA. DS is 14 months and goes to nursery Wednesdays and Thursdays. I don't get much opportunity to do any freelance work apart from those days.
We're already struggling with finances and next month is going to be even worse as DH will be 7 days poorer. Plus there's the issue of him being in his probation, a time when he's meant to pull out all the stops and convince his employer he's worth keeping - something he's struggled with in the past.
Here's the AIBU: should I expect DH to make the effort to go into work with a chest infection? He's well enough to laugh at Facebook, nip to the shops to buy beer and sweeties, play Xbox, chuck DS up in the air, etc. He has a desk job, he drives to work.
I'm sure he's feeling rotten, but I had a chest infection and sinus infection at the same time back in August and I still had to muddle through looking after a baby all day (and night) long!
There are deeper relationship issues at play here but I guess I'm looking for some advice.
AIBU to hope DH would muddle through with a chest infection so that a) he won't lose his job and b) we aren't as up shit creek financially next month? :S
AIBU?
Should DH muddle through with a chest infection?
coffeecuppa · 15/11/2016 09:36
Hi, sorry for the slow reply, I was out at a baby group with DS.
You're all absolutely correct. I was half expecting (hoping?) to get some flaming, saying I should be more sympathetic, but I'm both relieved and saddened that you agree with me that he's taking the piss.
WorraLiberty and ElphabaTheGreen, I wouldn't trust him to be a SAHD, unfortunately. He will, without fail, plonk DS down in front of the TV and he'll be lounging on the sofa on his phone. He is a lazy man. I have to suggest/hint/outright ask/beg him to take DS out at the weekend, and even then it's only ever to the park (10 minutes' walk) or into town so DH can buy sweets. No imagination. No effort. It doesn't even cross his mind that he should read to DS, or give him different toys to play with, or give him the opportunity to experience different environments/situations/etc.
To the others who commented with their experiences of illnesses – It certainly doesn't sound like DH has a 'proper' chest infection. He has a pretty nasty cough, but then he always has (got given nasal sprays by the GP a few years ago to try to cure his ever-present cough - never took them).
I am going to have to talk to him about this. Where/how do I draw the line? If I suggest he goes to work tomorrow and he says no, do I ask him to leave? Is it even fair to do that when he's ill? 
Twinkletowedelephant, bless you and your husband, he sounds lovely! See, that's the kind of dedication to job/family that I would like to see in my husband. He says he can't go into work as he gets a bit out of breath talking, and he has to use the phone for work. I should suggest he lugs 250 chairs instead, since talking on the phone is clearly too strenuous.
Hope your DH feels better soon! 
Is he drinking the beer that he is well enough to go to the shops to buy? 
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If he started taking ABs last Thursday, then he should have gone back to work on Monday. Antibiotics will kick in after a couple of days, although alcohol can negate their effect 
.
It's not just the loss of earnings, his frequent days off sick when on a probationary period will reflect very poorly on him when they are reviewing him after 6 months. His only hope now is to have an impeccable record for the remainder of his probation and hope they award him with a full time contract. They are under no obligation to keep him on.
(I expect you know all this).
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