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Morning sickness and DH going to the rugby.

(159 Posts)
mangocoveredlamb Sat 19-Mar-16 11:25:41

Every year DH and his mates go to the pub to watch the final of the six nations. He's leaving in ten mins and won't be home till midnight. And, despite me asking him to, he refused to ask the others to consider changing the venue to nearby so he could come home to do bedtime. He'll be a two hour train journey away. In his defence he has said he won't drink.

I'm 7 week pregnant and suffering from very severe sickness, on meds that aren't touching it.

We have a very active two year old.
MIL is useless so would be more hinderence than help and my parents are hosting a party.

AIBU to think that this year he shouldn't go?

Tiredemma Sat 19-Mar-16 11:27:41

Is he generally out boozing with his mates most weekends?

If not then I think I would be letting him go. Why is MIL useless? surely she can help with putting a 2 year old to bed?

mrssmith79 Sat 19-Mar-16 11:30:20

YABU.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot Sat 19-Mar-16 11:30:47

Is it just the Six Nations final day that he does this? A once a year tradition with his mates?

If that, yes of course he should go.

If he's out on the lash a lot, then you need to sit him down and talk about responsibilities and priorities. But I wouldn't do that for a long-established event that is only once a year.

cardibach Sat 19-Mar-16 11:30:55

Six nations doesn't have a final <misses point>
I agree with Tiredemma - unless there's loads of information you aren't giving nobody who has raised a baby (as your MiL clearly has) can be incapable of putting a two year old to bed.
Sorry about the morning sickness, though. That sucks.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Sat 19-Mar-16 11:31:45

YABU.

I wouldn't stop my husband partaking in a yearly event because I had morning sickness. Coming from someone who spent the first 6 months of her pregnancy horizontal with a sick bowl at her side.

WorraLiberty Sat 19-Mar-16 11:33:13

What does doing bedtime involve?

If it involves a bath, let your child skip it and try to make tonight as easy as possible.

However, I wouldn't write off your MIL helping.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 19-Mar-16 11:33:50

I think yabu. Let him go and enjoy himself, why can't he drink just because you having morning sickness? confused

IndridCold Sat 19-Mar-16 11:33:51

Sorry you are feeling crap, but YABU.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Sat 19-Mar-16 11:34:03

surely MIL can come sit and minister to the two year old?..dvd, toast, more toast, bath and bed

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely Sat 19-Mar-16 11:34:06

Yanbu, severe morning sickness is horrific and he needs to be there when he can. It's only short term.

If you had food poisoning would it be ok for him to leave you with a toddler while he goes drinking?

You're ill. The fact that it's caused by pregnancy doesn't make it trivial.

mangocoveredlamb Sat 19-Mar-16 11:34:13

No, he's brilliant, plays golf once a month and the odd weeknight event, so I'm very lucky.

MIL has never changed a nappy as she's worried she might put it on too tight and DD 's legs will fall off (honestly) and won't go upstairs with her in case DD slips. So she would just be watching me do it, and it'll be easier not to have her here.

I know I'm being U really I'm just dreading the thought of keeping DD entertained and fed all afternoon while being and feeling really sick.

curren Sat 19-Mar-16 11:34:45

It's a difficult one.

I had to look after my dd while I have very bad morning sickness. While dh was travelling. Literally laid in the sofa all day. Odd day of that doesn't hurt imo.

If it's only occasionally I would let him go and be fine with it.

Maybe I am not getting why no one can help you?

But it's ok me saying this, because I don't know how ill you are. My attitude in pregnancy was that dh shouldn't miss out just because I felt piss poor all the time.

GlacindaTheTroll Sat 19-Mar-16 11:35:21

"MIL has never changed a nappy "

I'm fascinated now.

Was DH raised by wolves?

BumWad Sat 19-Mar-16 11:35:41

Yes I'm sorry you're feeling like crap but I do think YABU

oneoldmare Sat 19-Mar-16 11:35:47

I think you are being a bit selfish. Get DH to do as much prep before he goes so a lunch and tea prepared for your 2 yr old and then let him go.
It sounds like this had been his 'thing' for years and to be honest your sickness won't feel any betterbecause he is home.

BastardGoDarkly Sat 19-Mar-16 11:36:26

Yeah, I'd not stop him.

Just make everything as easy as possible for yourself, and reconsider mils crapness if it all gets too much.

mangocoveredlamb Sat 19-Mar-16 11:37:22

If we didn't have DD obviously it would be fine for him to go.

Tiredemma Sat 19-Mar-16 11:37:30

I have my two year old DD here with now. I dont have morning sickness but I have worked a night shift and not been to bed yet- DP is out with DS1 (rugby incidently)

We are lay having a 'sofa' day. Im shattered and cant be arsed to do much so just going to have a very lazy day! I suggest you do the same!!

Arfarfanarf Sat 19-Mar-16 11:37:36

you poor bugger. It's miserable feeling so sick. I hope that the meds start to work soon.

It's not the same of course, I only had normal morning sickness but I do remember one time. Mine were then a baby and a toddler and my husband had gone on a training course and I came down with horrendous d&v. I was , well, you can guess. It wasn't pretty. I don't need to go into details grin

200 miles away from my family. All by myself. It was hell. Yes I got through it although it wasn't pretty for any of us and I'm glad they were too young to remember grin but my point is just because you can do it doesn't mean you shouldn't shout out for help from anyone willing! Or that people should be all shruggy shoulders about it. It's a pain in the arse and of course you'd like help.

Is there a time of day when your sickness is worse? Is there anything you can do to plan and prepare for that? Do you have a friend who might come and help you out for an hour or so?

There's nothing wrong with trying to make things a bit easier for yourself if you can.

SuburbanRhonda Sat 19-Mar-16 11:37:55

Just thank your lucky stars your DH doesn't work abroad during the week, OP. One day a year? Unashamed luxury grin

Trollicking Sat 19-Mar-16 11:38:49

Really, really sorry but YABU - It's a bit crap but it's a one off.
Hope you feel ok. Morning sickness is horrible. thanks

mangocoveredlamb Sat 19-Mar-16 11:40:21

Obviously MIL changed his nappies, but never any of the grandchildren.
It's not her fault, she has huge anxiety.

DH being here wing help me feel better, but will stop me having to move which makes it worse.

Libitina Sat 19-Mar-16 11:44:14

I'm so sorry that you are suffering, but yabu to not want him to go out. If he was at work, what would you do?

Take the easy option, snuggle on the sofa in front of the tv, picnic for tea and straight to bed.

mangocoveredlamb Sat 19-Mar-16 11:45:05

I he was at work DD would be at the childminders!

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