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AIBU?

To take away DD's tablet after she ran up £180 bill on games?!

150 replies

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 12:49

She got it for her birthday and was thrilled. We naively assumed that she was a mature and trustworthy (relatively speaking) 8 yr old. But then this morning I saw in my account that she has spent over £180 on my card buying ridiculous coins and games and characters.

We had sat her down and explained how the 'free' games worked and had told her not to even consider buying anything but to approach us first if she felt that she wanted to. She agreed and we trusted her. And now here we are.

DH has suggested confiscating it for a week or two and I am fighting the desire to take it away permanently. Am I an unreasonable hot head? What would be the best punishment?!

OP posts:
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strawberrypenguin · 08/03/2016 12:51

I'd take it away for a bit but not perminantly as honestly it's as much your fault as hers- you should have had the purchasing options locked down so she couldn't do it.

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tryingtocatchthewind · 08/03/2016 12:52

I wouldn't take it permanently, just for a few weeks. Let her consider this first strike. Give her another opportunity to prove she can be trusted, if she does it again then yes permantly

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tryingtocatchthewind · 08/03/2016 12:52

To be fair at 8 I'd have locked the games against purchases

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VoldysGoneMouldy · 08/03/2016 12:54

I'd be taking it away permanently. Do think you were foolish though - can you not set up a parental lock? Does she get pocket money? She also needs to pay you back, at least part of it.

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Sighing · 08/03/2016 12:55

Our DC's tablets are not registered against a card. Do that. You'll need to probably set it up from scratch.

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Katenka · 08/03/2016 12:55

My 11 year old has a phone and access to a tablet.

She can't physically buy anything on either of them. Why didn't you lock it down?

She's 8. Even if she is sensible she is 8.

I think a temporary ban and locking the tablet down is the way forward.

Both you and your dh are partly to blame for this.

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VimFuego101 · 08/03/2016 12:55

I would definitely take it away for a couple of weeks, and make her pay back the money by doing chores. You need to make sure it's all locked down so she can't buy things or make in app purchases.

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coffeeisnectar · 08/03/2016 12:55

Amazon now do ACTUALLY FREE games. Check out Amazon underground which has the games with no in app purchases.

Then make sure you need to put in card details on her tablet to make a purchase.

I'd be fuming!! However, I get an email notification on my phone when dd buys an app through her tablet, even a free one. So I am going to know if she starts buying stuff in game before it gets anywhere near £180!

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Seeline · 08/03/2016 12:56

Did she realise that when you 'buy' stuff in games it actually costs money? I think for most 8yos that is a difficult concept to grasp.
You were mad not to disable the in-game purchasing options, and I think this is far more your fault than hers.
My DCs have google play gift cards given to them every now and then so that they can buy stuff if they want, but once they have spent the money that's it. Their accounts are certainly not linked to my credit card!!

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honeyiwashedmyhair · 08/03/2016 12:56

Why didn't you block purchases? You're the parent... Take it away for a day, just so she knows, but really, it kinda was your fault...

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SaucyJack · 08/03/2016 12:56

Why were your card details on there in the first place?

Asking for trouble tbh.

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MackerelOfFact · 08/03/2016 12:56

Why was your card linked to the device in the first place?

If you added it and forgot to disable it, I think you're as culpable as her, as it's not always obvious when you're purchasing within a game.

If she found your card and added it herself to pay for things I would absolutely be hitting the roof and selling the tablet to make up the cost.

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Pinkheart5915 · 08/03/2016 12:57

She's 8 so I wouldn't take it away from her permanently. Maybe take it away for a week if you think you need too but I wouldn't even do that.

I'm not sure sure could really understand the "free game" thing.

I don't know how the games work as I only use my ipad for Internet and photos.
Was there no way of her playing games etc on the tablet, without having a card linked? Or set up so it needed the password every time something is brought?

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CheeseAndOnionWalkers · 08/03/2016 12:58

Personally I think it's your fault for not having adequate protection against this.
You don't say if you're on Apple or Android but my 3 kids have no associated credit card to go with their tablets/phones and do fine. If they want an Apple app I gift it to them from my account.

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honeyiwashedmyhair · 08/03/2016 12:58

If she found your card and added it herself to pay for things I would absolutely be hitting the roof and selling the tablet to make up the cost.

How many 8 year olds can do that?

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dementedpixie · 08/03/2016 12:59

You can turn off in app purchases so you should have done that first before she got to use it

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BarbarianMum · 08/03/2016 13:00


A lot of "free" games come from sites that require you to have the device linked to a card in order to download them. Which is why it is important to use parental controls to ensure no purchasing - in-app or otherwise.

Op, sorry, but I think this is largely your fault. She's 8!
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chibsortig · 08/03/2016 13:01

Why on earth were your card details on there to begin with? Surely you've read/watched/heard stories like this before.
There no way on earth i would register my card to any of my childrens devices you can buy gift cards for most formats nowadays.
I suggest you reset the tablet and learn from your mistake your DD didnt know it was charging your account each time as she is 8.

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MackerelOfFact · 08/03/2016 13:04

honeyiwashedmyhair If they're savvy enough to use and download apps, they're probably savvy enough to enter some card details if requested - hopefully most wouldn't though!

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tomatodizzy · 08/03/2016 13:04

I use Kidsplace on the children's tablet, a whole lot cheaper than a special kids version of the same tablet. You can block market place as it is linked to my google account and that has my card details. Although I am 100% sure that you have to enter the password before you make purchases. Worth installing something like this. It also makes navigating the tablet a lot easier and children can't access apps you might not want them to have, like facebook or an internet search.

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thelittleredhen · 08/03/2016 13:05

If you phone apple and explain the circumstances, they will refund ONCE. Link

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OhShutUpThomas · 08/03/2016 13:05

YANBU.
I'd also make her pay £100 of it back, so she realises how much money it actually is. Not the whole amount, as I must say you're also to blame for putting your card details on it.

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GripingPain · 08/03/2016 13:05

She's 8. She really can't be held accountable for this.

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Helenluvsrob · 08/03/2016 13:06

Argh !
This has Ben a problem since app type games began and you seem a bit naive to have not locked out in app purchases etc.

Never mind. You've both learned I guess.

Please please tell me you've locked the Internet controls to lick it to child friends stuff and not be in the web at stupid times.

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thelittleredhen · 08/03/2016 13:06

edit - you don't have to phone, just fill in forms online

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