To think everyone believes they look/feel/act younger then they are?

(94 Posts)
scalala Thu 02-Jul-15 17:42:43

This probably goes more for those over 30 but it gets more noticable as you get older that everyone men and women all seem to think they are somehow especially "young" for their age. For example online dating which thankfully I don't need to use but which many of my friend do we are late 30's and a huge majority of men only want to be contacted by women their exact age or much younger as if a year or two older is like dating the crypt keeper. The argument they give is that they look and act much younger and so a women their age or older wouldn't be able to keep up with them or do the things they like to do gigs, traveling etc because they some how imagine women their age are all home darning socks and making stovies.

The truth is that women also often feel or imagine that the men their age seem a bit slow and tired and they feel they would prefer a younger, more energetic partner.

Another example I have a friend the same age as me who recentl told me she was looking forward to her high school reunion next year because she feels she has aged much better than her peers and still looks like a twenty something. I hardly knew what to say, she is beautiful but she looks every one of her 37 years and has plenty of deep lines and wrinkles she says they are just the same as when she was a child so not age related but they are the signs of ageing.

Everyone is always telling each other how young we look, it is the biggest compliment we can give and receive after 35 but so often it isn't really true! Also we all have different ideas of what youth means for some it is blonde hair and tan for others it is fitting into skinny jeans and for other it is all about skin quality. It is fine to get a boost or compliment a friend but it just perpetuates this who we have to look young to be worthy or attractive and it piles on the pressure to use various treatments.

Why not tell a friend that she looks glowing if her skin is good or that you admire her energy / fitness or the way she handles her problems with such grace and so on rather than the you look so young.

iniquity Thu 02-Jul-15 17:46:27

I've noticed in here and in real life most people think they look younger than they are. Having said that I think people have in general aged better over the last 20 years. A lot of people can get away with looking quite young until their fifties.

TheHouseOnBellSt Thu 02-Jul-15 17:50:24

I know what you mean. I am 42 and many of my peers are constantly putting posey photos of themselves on Facebook as though they were as lovely as they were at 20!

Sure they're nice enough for their age...but not THAT young looking.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel Thu 02-Jul-15 17:50:48

I know what you mean. I think it's partially flattery (the 'compliments' from others) and partially that we are judging from against what 35, 40, 45, 55 looked like a generation or two ago, when we were younger and our mothers or grandmothers were the same age rather than just realising that this is actually what 35/45/60 looks like these days and actually with better diets, a greater interest in 'healthy lifestyles', better skincare, better medical care and cosmetic surgery, we look younger/better/more 'fresh' than our parents/grandparents did.

Teabagbeforemilk Thu 02-Jul-15 17:51:59

I feel younger than I am. Still shocks me when I realise I have so much responsibilty. It's not always a good thing.

I get old I look younger occasionally, but never take it seriously. I am wrinkle free as I get Botox done. But I don't think that makes me look in my twenties.

scalala Thu 02-Jul-15 17:53:30

I do agree that probably every generation in the post war period has aged better than the on before. I think only now they are saying with kids now the trend is reversing a bit due to inactivity and obesity.

I think people need to accept that if they look younger than their mum when she was 40 that is just what 40 looks like these days also much of it is smoke and mirrors better clothes, better hair dye, styles etc, make up and so on. The only true test is skin quality up close often that isn't as good especially with the rise of the sunbed and package holiday.

wafflyversatile Thu 02-Jul-15 18:03:36

youth is highly valued. Old people are not valued. People need to feel valuable so we tell ourselves and others that we are young.

Also people are having kids later in life now so can stick to the youthful activities of their 20s much longer.

wafflyversatile Thu 02-Jul-15 18:05:39

I remember watching maybe the 2nd or 3rd series of big Brother and some 39 year old was in there. He claimed he was 39 going on 16. He was so youthful still. But he was clearly grumpy and disgusted with the youth he was sharing the house with and escaped over the wall a few days in. So childish, but not 'down wif the youth' like he thought he was.

NorahDentressangle Thu 02-Jul-15 18:11:57

I would say peeps are in their prime at 17- 19.

Looking at Prom photos of family members they were usually pretty stunning then - after that it's all downhill smile

rembrandtsrockchick Thu 02-Jul-15 18:13:45

I used to look younger than I was...alas, no longer. Tits, arse and jowls in a race to see which can hit the floor first.

Religion helps. I spend hours, naked in front of the mirror, on my knees saying "Oh my GOD!"

Skylander1 Thu 02-Jul-15 18:21:58

I don't think I look young I think I look my age which is 40 but last year at my school reunion I got told by a few people I looked the best and hadn't aged! I clearly have but it was nice to hear. I also most defiantly act my age.

lljkk Thu 02-Jul-15 18:32:54

Can only comment about me.
Am pretty sure that most women my age or close to my age look very much younger than me, if I had to hazard a guess. I'm amazingly terrible at guessing ages of adults though.
I actually am fitter & slimmer & more active than most women near my age, & I act younger than many, I think. Not sure that's a good thing?!

MamaLazarou Thu 02-Jul-15 18:39:33

YANBU. I'm always wondering why people don't act surprised when I tell them my age. Everyone else my age looks really ancient to me! I suppose I'm deluded grin

puffinrock Thu 02-Jul-15 18:41:14

I find there are the people that look a lot younger and then people that look significantly older. It seems to happen to some people after children and they don't even look like the same person confused

ratsintheattic Thu 02-Jul-15 18:49:25

actually if you find some photos of your mum/gran when they were in their forties you'll be shocked at how young they look (in terms of skin and figure and hair color). their clothes were hideous, of course. The point is they looked old before because we were so young. If you really want to know how young you look, ask a 19 year old. They'll soon put you straight.

Pinkcatgirl Thu 02-Jul-15 18:50:11

I think I looked my age til DD born.... 3 years later and when I hold up my 6 month old DS next to me in the mirror I almost fall over with shock at how decrepit I look next to his perfect skin.

puffinrock Thu 02-Jul-15 18:53:21

I think some people looked young in the past if you look at old photos. Its the genes you get mainly. If your Mum and Nan look a lot younger then often you will.

DJThreeDog Thu 02-Jul-15 18:53:49

I feel younger than I am but I don't think i act it.

I know I look older though as I posted a picture on here recently and was told I look early 40s. I'm only 32! grin

Kvetch15 Thu 02-Jul-15 18:55:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarsInTheNightSky Thu 02-Jul-15 18:59:00

Hahaha I wish! These days I am usually mistaken for being at least ten years older that I am, and I do look it, primarily due to ill health. It doesn't bother me that much, though it is mildly amusing to see people turn red and stammer when I reveal my age, but I'm evil like that grin

shakemysilliesout Thu 02-Jul-15 19:01:37

I felt so sorry for the 40 yr old on don't tell the bride last night. Her husband had got her a dress only a 19 yr old could wear. She had said she liked it 20 yrs ago...

BathshebaDarkstone Thu 02-Jul-15 19:06:03

I think I still act like a 30 year old. I'm coming up to 48. blush

shakemysilliesout Thu 02-Jul-15 19:08:15

Also I'm 28 but look 38

BabyGanoush Thu 02-Jul-15 19:08:45

yanbu

but let people enjoy their self-delusion, it makes them happy!

Me, I am not like other people, I genuinely look younger than my age wink ...... kidding!

NoelHeadbands Thu 02-Jul-15 19:14:21

Hmm I don't think I act, or look any younger than my 40 years.

I look younger than my mum did at 40, but there are many factors involved there.
I think I probably look like a nicely kept mid forties, but not any younger- I've always looked older than I am, even as a young teen. I think it's because I have strong bone structure- though I don't look as 'hard faced' as I used to, and now at least the cheekbones are scaffolding the rest of the face hmm

I don't feel I act any younger than I am. My children are no longer tinies- whilst my eldest has just finished his GCSE's, some of my (same age) friends children haven't even started school, so I guess there's a difference there? I'm no way an old fuddy duddy yet, but at the same time, I'm not doing the shenanigans I got up to in my earlier years!

As far as feeling goes- well yes, I got to 13 and then I stopped grin

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