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Would you want to know ?

(59 Posts)
Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 12:55:48

If your partner cheated.i saw this guy and we slept together and not long after I found out via facebook he had a gf.we had been chatting for about four months which is about the duration of their relationship from what I can I can see .im thinking about telling her I feel his behaviour is very unfair on everyone .i asked him to his face if he was seeing someone as I had spider senses somehow , he lied blatently. Im wondering what is the right thing to do in this situation .thanks for reading

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 07-Feb-15 12:58:05

Stay out of it, chances are he'll deny it and portray you as a loon.

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 12:58:35

I have proof ?

Ilovemybedbaby Sat 07-Feb-15 13:00:36

I would send her an email, so sick of men that do this, FB is rife with them! I wouldn't be wasting anymore time chatting to him either! All he is after is sex!

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:02:40

Ive spoke to him today he's not going to tell her off his own bat but says he feels guilty .im worried slightly I trusted him and we weren't careful.if I send her a message it will go to others box she may never read it ,and it is affecting me mentally a bit

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 07-Feb-15 13:03:59

Well stop chatting to him, he's a twat!

Are you still sleeping with him?

APlaceInTheWinter Sat 07-Feb-15 13:05:50

If it was his DW I'd say tell her but in this case I'd say don't tell her. They might not have been exclusive at the beginning.

But really, there seems to be at least one thread a week on here saying I Googled or FBed after I slept with someone and discovered a wife/gf.

Google or Facebook search someone before you sleep with them!

Otherwise it looks as though you don't give a shit if the guy you're sleeping with is a lying cheat so it seems a bit ironic to then suddenly become concerned about it after you've slept with them.

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:05:59

No im not ,not doing that again !

myhatsonfire Sat 07-Feb-15 13:05:59

I would want to know, BUT I think the 'other woman' is often blamed more than the man despite him being at fault, so I would move on and not get involved for your own sake. It's not your responsibility, cold as that sounds.

She will probably find out eventually anyway. sad

DandyHighwayman Sat 07-Feb-15 13:06:18

Do nothing.

Apart from getting an STD check and giving your head a wobble about safe sex.

TheFecklessFairy Sat 07-Feb-15 13:06:32

I trusted him and we weren't careful.

Well, who is the daft one then? hmm

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:08:30

A place we had been chatting for four months and then slept together this week !.we started talking when they had just got together ,it says single on his profile and no couple photos or anything ,im not to blame here .

BuzzardBird Sat 07-Feb-15 13:09:02

Personally, I would want to know. I like to know what I am dealing with, it is up to the GF how she processes the information.

I saw a middle aged couple in a pub on Tuesday who were obviously at it and left in separate cars after a long tussle on the car park, I so wished I knew one of them. Grrr!

Ilovemybedbaby Sat 07-Feb-15 13:10:21

No your not op, he is! Total wanker!

APlaceInTheWinter Sat 07-Feb-15 13:10:40

He is to blame but you are now in the position of worrying about STDs and feeling upset. Whatever you did this week that meant you discovered he had a gf - next time do that before you sleep with someone. For your own peace of mind not to absolve him of responsibility.

BuzzardBird Sat 07-Feb-15 13:11:37

Oh, yes and that is true^ it is often the 'other woman' who gets the blame so prepare to be accused of being a 'bunny boiler, man eater etc'.

I told a good friend her DH was making himself a nuisance with me and she hung onto him and stopped speaking to me!

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:12:07

This has skewed my view in relationships and trust .his level of deception is afraid of her dishing out all kinds of abuse at me as im feeling vulnerable anyway .at the same time he will only go on and do this again so she should be informed.

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:13:36

How can you prove it though if someone's genuinely single ?i went to his house no trace of any woman there whatsoever !

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 07-Feb-15 13:14:19

You seem determined to tell her so do it.

FightOrFlight Sat 07-Feb-15 13:18:29

How did you suddenly find out about his gf after chatting to him for 4 months? Did you specifically go looking for evidence of a relationship after sleeping with him?

FarFromAnyRoad Sat 07-Feb-15 13:18:29

You went to his house? Christ you sound obsessed. Just drop him and drop the whole thing and next time use your noggin.
And if you think this is a 'shocking' level of deception then you need to spend more time on the Relationships board. This is entry level schoolboy stuff.
Respect yourself more before you date again.

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:18:39

A place it only became apparent when he was tagged in some event and I put two and two together and pinned him me ,I'm not a naive woman

ilovesooty Sat 07-Feb-15 13:29:26

Get an std check. Then mind your own business is my advice, though I know it doesn't go down well with many on here.

Kimberley00001 Sat 07-Feb-15 13:33:03

I don't think she will find out ,he has commented on other girls looks on photos and stuff and she turns a blind eye to it ,he writes it all off as "banter" ��

BuzzardBird Sat 07-Feb-15 13:35:08

Eeew! He sounds a right creep!

I suggest you don't go for this 'type' again.

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