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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you want to know ?

58 replies

Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 12:55

If your partner cheated.i saw this guy and we slept together and not long after I found out via facebook he had a gf.we had been chatting for about four months which is about the duration of their relationship from what I can I can see .im thinking about telling her I feel his behaviour is very unfair on everyone .i asked him to his face if he was seeing someone as I had spider senses somehow , he lied blatently. Im wondering what is the right thing to do in this situation .thanks for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 13:42

I suppose ive never really had to think about it until now.my instinct is to tell ,but self preservation is making me wary.

OP posts:
CrystalHaze · 07/02/2015 13:47

*Today 12:58 Kimberley00001

I have proof ?*

Do you or don't you have proof? Who is this question directed towards?

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 13:54

I was replying to stayclassys comment that if I told I would be portrayed as a loon.i have intimate photos and conversation screenshots.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 13:55

Get an STI check, a pregnancy test and sort yourself out. For Christ's sake, this is Jeremy Kyle level.

I have no comment on whether you believed he was single. Men lie to get women into bed....hold the front page ! But "not being careful" is just sheer stupidity.

AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 13:58

and you've got "intimate" photos ?

There is only one man for the job

Would you want to know ?
cozietoesie · 07/02/2015 13:59

I think I'd make up my mind whether you wanted this thread or the one on the Relationships Board as well. You sound quite obsessed by this - and you took 'intimate photos' of him on a first time? Sheezz.

CrystalHaze · 07/02/2015 14:01

If you were replying to stayclassy, I still don't understand why you asked stayclassy a question about having proof.

Or is the the written equivalent of the redundant rising inflection at the end of a statement to make it sound like a question?

Anyway, cut contact, stop seeking revenge, learn your lesson and chalk it up to experience. Leave it behind with dignity.

Or is this

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 14:02

Any fucker ,that's the best laugh ive had all day !

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 14:05

Ive asked mumsnet to delete the thread on relationships.he sent me the photos months ago.it has affected me I must admit ,but I'm not outside his house or anything im not like that.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 14:06

Well, I suppose we have to laugh or we'd cry Grin

Give Jezza a call Smile

If you want my advice love (and I am being serious now). Don't tell the GF. Be a bit more discerning about you you hook up with. Don't indulge in "intimate photo" sharing with people you don't really know (if you could threaten to show his, he could threaten to show yours). Move on with your dignity (and your barrier contraception) intact. That's it really.

As a fully grown, sexually experienced woman though, you shouldn't still need these things spelling out to you...surely ?

CrystalHaze · 07/02/2015 14:08

trust me ,I'm not a naive woman

The fact that you had unsafe sex with this 'charming' individual kind of tramples that assertion into the ground, don't you think? Hmm

cozietoesie · 07/02/2015 14:11

...As a fully grown, sexually experienced woman though, you shouldn't still need these things spelling out to you...surely ?...

Now thereby hangs a question.

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 14:20

Okay well to answer ,I didn't return the intimate photos ,I actually brought contraception with me ,but it was in my bag and I left it downstairs (I know ,I know ) and he withdrew so the pregnancy risk should be lower.i can't comment on std I'll have to get myself tested.i made a mistake as something didn't feel quite right ,but nobody's perfect.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 14:21

And thank you for your advice AF x

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 15:06

You can comfort yourself with "nobody's perfect" when you catch the Clap from this cheating twat and find yourself upduffed by him.

AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 15:10

and "withdrawal" is teenage stuff, you don't rely on that surely ?

are you under the impression you can't get pregnant your first time/if you do it standing up/if you don't enjoy it blah blah blah

"withdrawal" as a method is suitable only for committed relationships where it wouldn't be altogether a terrible idea if a baby came out of it (and you know you are both disease-free)

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 15:26

No I don't rely on that usually ,I actually brought condoms with me im usually careful.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 15:31

You should have used the condoms. They have no contraceptive effect if they stay in your bag.

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 16:57

Yes I should.i will never make this mistake again

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 19:06

I hope you don't pay the price for it this time. How long ago are we talking ? MAP ? Coil insertion can be done up to 5 days afterwards to prevent a pregnancy (might even be longer if you look into it)

Original poster
Kimberley00001 · 07/02/2015 19:19

Wednesday just gone AF

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/02/2015 19:27

Why haven't you got the MAP ?

DodgedAnAsbo · 07/02/2015 19:47

If I had a spider sense that kicked in after the event, I think I would bin it and go for some common sense instead.
Not only are you still in the firing line, but you want to put your head above the parapet and stick the boot into others ??
Get a mirror - and take a good hard look in to it

Stealthpolarbear · 07/02/2015 19:52

Why is she the gf and you the ow?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 07/02/2015 20:51

Don't make yourself out to be a blameless saint, Kimberley. OK at first you didn't know he had a gf but now you do, and you're still sleeping with him, so you are partly to blame.
In answer to your question. I honestly don't know.

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