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AIBU?

AIBU to wonder why school mums are so inconsistent?

145 replies

Lazaretto · 01/02/2015 19:07

One morning they acknowledge you, the next morning they blank you? Anyone else notice this? Kind of dumbfounded by it. In most walks of life, once you become acquainted, it's common decency to at least acknowledge each other when you see each other? Am I missing something?

OP posts:

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Campaspe · 01/02/2015 19:09

Not sure without knowing a bit more about your situation tbh. I think you are generalising too much. Some people can be moody and unfriendly, but I don't think school mums are more likely to be so than any other random group of people forced together.

cailindana · 01/02/2015 19:12

Because it's early morning and they're tired and stressed?

CaptainAnkles · 01/02/2015 19:13

I know what you mean, but in my experience people can be half asleep still in the mornings, or might be thinking about talking to their child's teacher, or be looking out for someone in particular they need to speak to, or might not have seen you, etc etc. I'm on good terms with a couple of mums and we don't always talk to each other. Don't take it personally.

Guitargirl · 01/02/2015 19:14

There are some mornings when I probably come across in a more friendly mood than others. Some days I am working from home and can take my time to chat, there are other days when I am in a rush to get to a meeting, some days I am trying to make sure the DCs have all the bits and pieces they need for the day and others when I just have a lot on my mind and making small talk is not one of them. It's really not about intentionally blanking anyone, it's about wanting to get on with the rest of the day.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/02/2015 19:15

Its because they're hormonal and cliquey.
Women are like that, especially when they're mothers. The sahms are the worst of course. The wohms are more balanced

SaucyJack · 01/02/2015 19:16

From my own perspective of being a miserable bitch, sometimes it's nice to have a bit of a chat with someone but that doesn't mean I can be arsed to make small talk every single bloody day,

Campaspe · 01/02/2015 19:16

RealAmandaClarke - and no generalising going on in this post??? Your post is pretty offensive actually.

ChangingItUp · 01/02/2015 19:17

I know lots of parents at dc's school. Drop off takes 5 mins, so there's just no time to acknowledge each and every one of them. I'll maybe speak to one or two in that time.

MrsHathaway · 01/02/2015 19:18

You are assuming they have indeed seen you. The morning, once you've dropped them, is prime socialising time for SAHPs especially if, like me, they are putting off going home to eleventy loads of washing but in the afternoon there's the panic of spotting them, sending them back in for the inevitably-forgotten jumper/coat/water bottle, dashing off to Brownies/gymnastics/piano lesson or before it rains (Biblically, yet again, within two minutes of pick-up).

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/02/2015 19:19

Never noticed that at my DCs school, it tends to be exactly the same as in any other part of my life. I suppose they might not see you if they are talking to someone else as you pass, but that's normal in life generally too.

Guitargirl · 01/02/2015 19:19

Campaspe - I think Amanda was being sarcastic.

Lazaretto · 01/02/2015 19:21

Sorry, I realise my post is guilty of generalising. It's just I hear the same from friends I have at other schools so just wondered what others experiences are. I get that people are busy, tired etc. I suppose I just view it as courtesy, the same way you are polite in a work environment. After all, the children will be together in school for quite a while!

OP posts:

MrsHathaway · 01/02/2015 19:21

Bollocks, misread. Point stands, though: too many other things to think about.

I think Amanda was parodying the usual argument, not venturing it.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 01/02/2015 19:21

I think you're going to have to be the one to initiate the "Hellos".

I have found that just a smile often gets no response but a cheery hello always gets a reply.

I suppose it gets a bit tiresome saying hello to the same thirty or so parents every morning and afternoon so that's why some keep their heads down. Or they could be in a hurry and are worried that an acknowledgement could turn into a conversation.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/02/2015 19:21

campaspe
Sorry. I was being sarcastic.

purplemunkey · 01/02/2015 19:22

Yep, I got sarcasm from Amanda's post too.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2015 19:23

I think it depends on the day. When I used to do the school gate stuff, some days I was stressed/in a hurry and didn't have time. That said I did manage a hello to anyone who caught my eye.

Hometime was generally more relaxed and people would chat more.

I haven't done school gates for 4 years. i kind of miss it a bit.

Campaspe · 01/02/2015 19:23

Sorry AmandaClarke. I misread totally. Have a on me.

Lazaretto · 01/02/2015 19:24

By the way, I'm not assuming they have seen me. They have seen me :) I just wondered really as I have never come across it before.

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ChippingInLatteLover · 01/02/2015 19:25

Laz. I could have written your post, but it's pick up time I think is the worst. I just smile and say 'Hi' now, they can chat or ignore me, up to them. I've given up trying to work it out.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/02/2015 19:25

Thanks. But no apology required.

MrsTawdry · 01/02/2015 19:26

I chat to someone one day and the next I might be looking for someone else to talk about something specific....or I might just not want to chat that day.

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AliceinWinterWonderland · 01/02/2015 19:26

I have a number of people I have with regularly at school runs, however, it's an "if we see each other" thing. I have two dcs, one disabled, one with SNs, and honestly some mornings it's all I can do to herd them in to school or out to the car without meltdowns from one of them. My friends know that if I don't greet them and say a quick hello that either 1-I didn't see them or 2-I have my hands completely full right now and unfortunately cannot stop to chat. I don't do the blanking thing - it's childish tbh.

I also don't get worked up if they don't greet me - often they're dealing with stuff as well, or in a hurry, or in the crush of people going all over the school grounds, they simply didn't see me.

Lazaretto · 01/02/2015 19:27

Chipping, I agree. I always go in with a blank slate :) smile and say hi. I think I'll give up too. To be honest it didn't bother me at first as I didn't know them that well but it's been 6 months nearly! Oh well.

OP posts:

gemdrop84 · 01/02/2015 19:27

Can't say it bothers me but I have been that school mum, some days I've just had too much going through my head to notice people around me.

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