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AIBU?

Not aibu but absolutely gutted about the mother and her baby found dead

175 replies

Goodmum1234 · 04/12/2014 23:17

I didn't know her but having only given birth ten weeks ago myself and now seeing her photo on the news I am devastated for her, her baby and her family ?? having had severe pnd four years ago I can see how things can go so wrong if no one knows how you feel and intervenes. RIP x

OP posts:

Report

26Point2Miles · 04/12/2014 23:18

Did she have PND then?

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 04/12/2014 23:20

Quite, quite dreadful that she needed to take the Baby with her.

Andrewofgg · 04/12/2014 23:21

The father, the grandparents, any siblings either parent had - dreadful for them.

And let's not forget the member of the public who saw the body and who will have nightmares for evermore.

cheesecakemom · 04/12/2014 23:21

It's awful - people don't take PND seriously. I also wouldn't be surprised to learn that there were signs. Really sad.

RufusTheReindeer · 04/12/2014 23:23

Completely agree goodmum

Makes me quite tearful and I don't usually cry

Fevertree · 04/12/2014 23:24

I am really upset about this too. Just dreadful. Poor woman, poor tiny baby girl, and the whole family :(

PacificDogwood · 04/12/2014 23:25

Dreadfully sad

BBC website said she has schizophrenia and depression, with added sleep-deprivation post-natally.

RandomMess · 04/12/2014 23:26

"Ms Bevan was believed to have schizophrenia and depression and had been sleep-deprived after giving birth."

How desperately sad that it could have been prevented.

homeappliance · 04/12/2014 23:27

So very very sad. I can't imagine how she must have been feeling to have done this.

Ujjayi · 04/12/2014 23:30

If I have understood correctly, the mother was schizophrenic & therefore had her meds changed during pregnancy.

When I heard this story, my heart went out to all concerned. I was overcome with a sense of "that could have been me". I don't have schizophrenia but I was slammed sideways by antenatal depression & PND & suffered some incredibly dark thoughts, including suicide. I sincerely hope that it sparks a proper debate about mental health & pregnancy/motherhood.

unclerory · 04/12/2014 23:38

I didn't know she had a history of mental health problems, that sounds like a serious failing in the hospital then, she should have been getting extra care because it's such an obvious trigger point for mental health issues to resurface. The poor family.

Goodmum1234 · 04/12/2014 23:38

Ujjayi your post is exactly how I felt four years ago. Thank god for intervention but sadly not for her in time.

26point- sorry I don't know if she had pnd but apparently she did have mental health issues. It's all so very sad.

OP posts:

foslady · 04/12/2014 23:39

I think for me I find myself thinking 'There but for the grace of God...'. My heart goes out to all the friends, family and those who are now having to come to terms with the sad, sad events. This time last week people were full of hope, excitement, looking forwards to the birth of a child, now they are all left reeling.....and a mother has felt the depths and couldn't reach out and be heard for reasons only she will ever truly know.

I only hope we can learn from this so no life lost has been in vain.

pigsDOfly · 05/12/2014 00:11

This is so, so sad.

They said on the news last night that she had stopped taking her medication so she could safely feed her baby.

What I found so strange was the CVTV in the hospital showed her leaving. She clearly wasn't dressed properly to be going outside and she was carrying a tiny baby. Why did no one ask her if she was okay?

Maybe I'm wrong but it looked to me as if she walked pass quite a few people in hospital uniform. Surely someone must have looked at her and thought there was something wrong with the situation.

She was clearly a very sick young woman, why was she just left to get on with things on her own to the extent that she was able to walk out of the ward and then the front of the hospital without anyone intervening.

Agree foslady lessons need to be learned from the death of this young woman and her baby.

Maybe we just need to learn to look out for one another a bit more.

MagicMojito · 05/12/2014 00:33

I know exactly what you mean. I actually felt quite devastated about it earlier and had to give myself abit of a talking to. I realise that people die everyday, and that's truly awful. But this feels different somehow I can't quite put my finger on why I feel so so affected by it. I usually hate all the "RIP so, and so" bollocks that people seem to do when people from the news die, but god, its just heartbreaking

MiscellaneousAssortment · 05/12/2014 00:35

I'm so glad people have posted kind things about her and not the usual painful stuff about how selfish she was and why didn't she think of anyone else etc.

I hate reading that stuff as it makes me want to give up, imagine trying to tell someone you felt suicide and getting told you were selfish :(

Poor her. Poor little baby :(

MiscellaneousAssortment · 05/12/2014 00:36

And poor family, friends and everyone else too :(

Amy106 · 05/12/2014 00:40

What an awful thing to happen. Feeling so sad for all concerned.

MagicMojito · 05/12/2014 00:41

that stupid winky face is most definitely not supposed to be in my post

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 05/12/2014 00:45

I think we all feel awful about this, but if you've just had a baby it will resonate more. OP, go and give your babies a cuddle and try to be happy.

lauranorder50 · 05/12/2014 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bakeoffcakes · 05/12/2014 00:48

She is holding the baby so carefully in those photos.

It's so heartbreaking that she felt she had to do what she did.

recall · 05/12/2014 00:50

I agree with you MagicMojiito this feels different - deeply disturbing

WyrdByrd · 05/12/2014 00:51

I'm so glad people have posted kind things about her and not the usual painful stuff about how selfish she was and why didn't she think of anyone else etc.

That was just the sort of judgemental BS my husband was spouting earlier and getting stroppy with me when I tried to defend the poor woman.

I guess it's just as well he'll never know exactly how bad my PND was 10 years ago. There was always a little thread of sanity rationalizing the thoughts in my head, thank God, but they were certainly there. I can still remember dropping him off for a night out when DD was a few months old and thinking how easy it would be to drive to the top of the nearby multi-storey & floor the car over the edge.

Can't imagine how she must have suffered in those few days to feel unable to reach out to anyone for help.

pigsDOfly · 05/12/2014 00:55

I don't understand your post lauranorder.

Not sure it makes a difference how the baby died. The fact is that poor young woman felt the need to walk into a freezing night with her baby, no one stopped her and they're both dead.

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