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or stupid not to bother with contraception any more

(152 Posts)
kentishgirl Tue 11-Mar-14 18:08:08

I'm crossing my fingers instead.

I'm 46 years old. Yes, I still get periods every month. I think I'm peri-menopausal, just. Yes, I know the official advice is that you need to use contraception until one year after last period. But realistically, what are the chances...? What do you do?

I found a quote online from Dr. Joshua U. Klein, medical director of Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York-Brooklyn.

"When you hear of people in the public arena who are pregnant in their 40s, the obvious suspicion is that they've availed themselves of fertility treatment, but aren't being transparent about it,"

What are my odds of getting pregnant at 46 naturally?

Not good, said Klein. "Natural pregnancies—when a woman is trying to get pregnant with her own egg—do occur in women in their mid 40s, but it would be nearly miraculous," he said. Even in women using the assistance of IVF (in vitro fertilization), there has never been a clearly documented case of a baby being born from an IVF pregnancy in a woman older than age 45 using her own eggs. Klein estimated that the chance of having a baby at age 46 without intervention is probably about 0.01 percent or less.

RayPurchase Tue 11-Mar-14 18:13:07

If getting pregnant wouldn't be a disaster then its fine. Putting yourself in a position where you may need an abortion is stupid though, they are painful physically and mentally.

formerbabe Tue 11-Mar-14 18:17:09

Do you want a baby...if the answer is 'no' then why risk it?

neolara Tue 11-Mar-14 18:22:43

I suspect that women doing IVF are not representative of all women. They are generally doing IVF because they had had difficulties conceiving. I imagine the odds of getting pregnant at 46 are slim. However, there are probably a few people at one end of the spectrum of fertility who remain fertile into their late 40s. It's entirely possible that you might be one of this group without knowing it.

yummystepford Tue 11-Mar-14 18:23:21

My mum was told she was starting menopause so have up contraception and got pregnant. She thought she was having a bad menopause so didn't find out until 5 weeks before he was born! She now has a healthy 9 month old! My mum is 44 btw, but technically fell pregnant after she started getting menopause!

zoemaguire Tue 11-Mar-14 18:24:40

But ivf pregnancies are by definition women who have tried and failed to conceive naturally. The statistics on ivf have no bearing on women's chances of conceiving naturally. I suspect your chances of pregnancy at 46 given this are substantially higher than 0.01%. If you could cope with a pregnancy, then go right ahead, but have your eyes open about the risks!

LaurieFairyCake Tue 11-Mar-14 18:25:28

I read a statistic in good housekeeping this month that the chance of getting pregnant naturally at my age (42)
is 0.00005%.

This really surprised me - I had no idea that according to docs I'm actually infertile.

TheBookofRuth Tue 11-Mar-14 18:25:58

My grandma got pregnant at 47. She mistook it for the menopause at first. Just sayin'. smile

Cringechilli Tue 11-Mar-14 18:27:02

You really must bother. I know someone who went into hospital to have their 1st child aged 30 and in the bed next to them was a 47yo who had dispensed with contraception before it was safe to do so. Visiting the 47yo and her newborn were her other children - aged 22 and 20!!

Do you want to start over?!

kentishgirl Tue 11-Mar-14 18:29:16

i know this is contentious but in the one in a million chance that i got pregnant, I would have an abortion, and I wouldn't find it painful physically or mentally. Not everyone sees them in the same way as you, not every woman is troubled afterwards, but that's a debate for another thread. I don't want that to happen, but it's so very unlikely.

Everything I'm reading on fertility is saying it's essentially impossible to become pregnant after age 45, without assistance, and even then not likely to work with your own eggs.

Littlespeckledowl Tue 11-Mar-14 18:29:29

My mum got pregnant naturally ( and accidentally) at 52. She assumed her periods had stopped because she was menopausal. She only realised she was pregnant when she miscarried at around 4 months. I wouldn't risk it.

missuswife Tue 11-Mar-14 18:29:37

My friend's mother got pregnant at 46 by accident. She thought it couldn't happen and stopped using bc. We were about 12 and it was a huge surprise.

MyNameIsKenAdams Tue 11-Mar-14 18:29:40

Well, your options are (1) continue to use contraception or (2) probably get pregnant.

Which would you prefer?

kentishgirl Tue 11-Mar-14 18:31:13

But hmmm...some of you actually know directly people who did? Not friend of friend stories?

Conflicting info out there then? Most medical sources are saying, forget it, impossible.

kentishgirl Tue 11-Mar-14 18:32:24

(2) probably get pregnant.
No, be a medical miracle to get pregnant.

I've always been responsible in past but I'm just fed up with all this, and I've seen so much info saying hey it's not going to happen.

DrSeuss Tue 11-Mar-14 18:33:21

Two words.
Cherie Blair!

FiveExclamations Tue 11-Mar-14 18:33:37

My mother was 48 when she conceived me naturally in 1968.

Ohhelpohnoitsa Tue 11-Mar-14 18:34:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CabbagesAndKings Tue 11-Mar-14 18:34:27

I know someone who had their last baby at 48. Their eldest was 29.

It does happen. On saying that, in your circumstances, I probably wouldn't worry about it too much either

MrsDeVere Tue 11-Mar-14 18:34:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Tue 11-Mar-14 18:35:04

If you are still having periods every month what makes you think you are perimenopausal?
I had blood tests done last month. My periods can be every month, four months , up to nine months apart, (this has been over the past 3 years. I;m nearly 48)

But I'm not menopausal, I'm on the border , hormonewise.

I wouldn't risk it personally.
But it's your choice.

HobbetInTheHeadlights Tue 11-Mar-14 18:36:22

I'm not sure anyone knows the chance - as it depends on the individual - genetics- aging and lifestyle.

However the often quoted figure that fertility halves after 35 every 6 months is apparently based on 17 French peasants - who may have been trying not to get pg.

The 300-year-old fertility statistics still in use today

So beware any quoted figures.

jacks365 Tue 11-Mar-14 18:36:31

I'm 45 and about to put my 2 year old to bed. No fertility treatment involved. I wouldn't be without her now but I wouldn't have chosen to get pregnant either, she was a contraception failure.

herecomesthsun Tue 11-Mar-14 18:37:05

I had 1 at 43. And 1 at nearly 48. Naturally.

MrsDeVere Tue 11-Mar-14 18:37:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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