Advanced search

AIBU nit to give this boy a lift

(27 Posts)
Fusedog Mon 03-Mar-14 19:31:26

Right ds attends cadets and one day about 4 months ago ds mate asked if I could pick him up as his mum works shifts and the kids are not allowed to walk round in there cadet uniform after what happend in the solder in lewsiham

I live two minutes from the base the boy lives about 15 minutes at normal times however at rush hour when we need to leave it takes about 45 minutes to get there which is not on my way may I add and back to the base on time

So it ends up this has become a regular thing however the boy has inceasingly been giving me next to no notice of when he needs a lift so he has beening ringing me at 10 to 6 and I would need to pick him up at six to get to the base for 7 ffs
And this has happend a lot I wouldn't mind but do you think the mum offers my lad a lift when she not working hmm and without a lift it means he can't go we did ask why he can't get the bus down and change when he gets there but no answer to that one

so today he rings at 7 asking for a lift we're out side the bloody base ffs so I said no and just came home

AIBU he also expects me to still pick him up if ds is not going to cadets hmm

WitchWay Mon 03-Mar-14 19:34:34

He is taking the piss. The mum might also be taking the piss as well. YANBU.

WooWooOwl Mon 03-Mar-14 19:36:03

Clearly, YANBU.

MyBodyIsAtemplate Mon 03-Mar-14 19:37:58

you need to ring his mum.

Groovee Mon 03-Mar-14 19:38:33

YANBU, if it had been on your way, then fair enough but he's not on your way and you have to go out of your way more and more. I wouldn't do it.

Waltonswatcher1 Mon 03-Mar-14 19:41:55

No ,you have been used enough!
I just shuddered though at the kids not being allowed to wear the uniform out in public ; what a situation to find ourselves in .

ToootSweet Mon 03-Mar-14 19:42:39

Do you really need to ask?

FetchezLaVache Mon 03-Mar-14 19:43:08

The piss is clearly being taken, esp if they were unable to explain why he can't get the bus and get changed there. YASNBU.

Fusedog Mon 03-Mar-14 19:45:06

Yeah there really strict pretty much all the kids get lifts there and back.

He needs to give notice or he's not having. Lift any more

morethanpotatoprints Mon 03-Mar-14 19:47:14

They are both taking the piss. It isn't your responsibility to get him there. If his parents can't manage it he will have to do without or pay for a taxi.
Tell them you're not prepared to do it anymore, or can't because it doesn't fit in with your time schedule.
Cheeky buggars, its not even on your way.

WilsonFrickett Mon 03-Mar-14 19:47:26

Are you happy to give him a lift if he gives you enough notice? If so, you need to spell that out to him and follow through (as you did today).

Fusedog Mon 03-Mar-14 19:54:41

Yes ds did point out to me that he manged to get to cadets before ds joined for nearly 8 months

I think I am being mugged off big style

TheCrackFox Mon 03-Mar-14 19:56:04

Can't he just get changed into his cadets uniform when he gets there?

NatashaBee Mon 03-Mar-14 19:57:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 03-Mar-14 20:01:45

Yanbu at all, sounds like they are taking the P. No us a whole sentence.

Fusedog Mon 03-Mar-14 20:01:49

Well ds did ask him apparently he's not allowed to get the bus on his own due to a "incident" which he won't tell ds about.

I am just really kackeded it's 2 days a week I have been up since 5 with the baby and can't go to bed because I have to wait up to pick up ds and I had enough

financialwizard Mon 03-Mar-14 20:07:01

No is a complete sentence.

Although I am a bit confused. My son goes to cadets and he has not been told not to wear uniform to cadets because of what happened (I assume you meant Woolwich, not Lewisham because I have not heard of anything happening in Lewisham althoughquitepossiblynotseenthenewsin6months ). He cycles the mile or so it is to cadets every evening and back again.

TheCrackFox Mon 03-Mar-14 20:17:52

Oh, you have a baby? They really are taking the piss.

Just text them and inform them that the arrangement just isn't working for you and you won't be able give him a lift anymore.

BackforGood Mon 03-Mar-14 20:24:23

ON so many of these MN threads, I sit here thinking - 'well, why wouldn't you?' when people talk about not being offered a lift in return or whatever, but this is entirely different.

No, I wouldn't go in the opposite direction in the rush hour to go and collect someone for an activity, unless there were real extenuating circumstances. At present, the parents hasn't called you and asked to to help in extenuating circumstances, so you have to presume there aren't any. It's also perfectly possible that the other parent presumes you live by them and doesn't realise her ds is asking you to go so far out of your way.

missingwelliesinsd Mon 03-Mar-14 22:12:34

It is unreasonable for you to drive that far in rushhour, couldn't the boy come home with your son after school (if the cadets is on a schoolnight) and walk together to Cadets? I wonder what incident happened on the bus too? Was he attacked perhaps? I do actually feel some sympathy for the boy, it sounds as though his parent(s) either can't or won't go to any effort to support his Cadets attendance. I wouldn't be surprised if his mother doesn't care if he goes to Cadets or not.

He is probably clueless in the way that boys can be, that he is causing you so much inconvenience. It might seem obvious to us that taking care of a baby and driving for nearly an hour is a huge and unreasonable task but he probably hasn't considered this. Is he polite and grateful when you give him lifts? Is there no other parent who drives their son to Cadets who could step up? In any case, you need not feel bad that you can't continue this arrangement.

nennypops Mon 03-Mar-14 22:32:21

He could perhaps also wear a jacket over his cadet uniform?

eddielizzard Mon 03-Mar-14 22:35:12

why can't he change out of his uniform and find his own way home? and there?

Scholes34 Mon 03-Mar-14 23:49:38

Push bike and a bag for his uniform - change when he gets there. Your son could do the same too.

Jeeves93 Tue 04-Mar-14 10:53:39

There was advice given after that event that uniform should not be worn in public, but that lasted about 24 hours after the event. We all went back to normal after that, with the possible exception of some London units. I would query it with the staff there.

NoodleOodle Tue 04-Mar-14 11:00:10


Just stop giving him lifts, it's out of your way and you have your own life to live and organise. He coped before you, he'll cope after you. And, even if he doesn't, that isn't your problem, an it's not like he's missing an important medical appointment, it's a voluntary uniformed club, which if his parents can't organise for him to go then... he can't go.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: