To be utterly sick of the fussy eaters are made brigade

[ButterdickCumberscotch]

Title says it all.

I am so fed up of people assuming that my dd1 is fussy about food because I have made her that way, that I just feed her junk and sweets and if I only let her go hungry she would eat what is put in front of her.

She has come such a long way from being the 2 year old that would not eat anything but still has a long list of things she will not eat. Certain textures or something unexpected in her food makes her gag. Trying new foods is not something she enjoys although she is slowly getting braver.

And yes we sent her to bed many a time leaving an untouched dinner and it didn't make a difference. Her appetite is minuscule at the best of times and she'll happily skip a meal.

And why do people assume that because she has a small appetite and doesn't like a lot of foods that this means she must eat nothing but processed food? Her list of likes includes things like beef stew, porridge, eggs and many fruits and vegetables. Her dislikes are many but include pizza, chips and processed meats. So no, we don't feed her from a Findus freezer every night.

And then there is DD2. Loves nothing better than a home cooked meal and eats way more than her sister, yet has always been a tiny skinny thing. They are just different in their make up and eating habits.

I wish a 'fussy' eater upon those who are routinely smug about the fact they have been fortunate enough to have a child that does not have issues with food. AIBU?

[thedogwakesuptoodamnearly]

YANBU! I was a fussy eater, I would have gladly gone hungry rather than force down food that made me gag. Sometimes I did. Still remember my dad bawling me out in a hotel on holiday because I couldn't eat the food. I grew out of it.

[sadbodyblue]

agree, my dcs were all bloody fussy toddlers for food.

ff to teens and adults and they will eat anything.

one thing I have learnt though. all of those toddlers who would 'eat anything' are now fat teens and adults.

food should not be important to toddlers and young children. the ones who are constantly hungry and eat everything are a worry.

no healthy toddler wants to stop racing around to eat their vegs. [ grin]

hang in their op.

[Ledaire]

Bollocks, isn't it? My parents ate everything. I was adopted and autistic and hardly ate at all despite my environment.

DD is not autistic or fussy. DS is autistic and even more restricted than I am. Both have been shown, offered, given a wide variety of foods since they were weaned and in DS' case this is on-going.

Having food issues is a bloody horrible thing when you are a child. It rarely affects me now but being unable to eat meat in the seventies wasn't easy.

[YouStayClassySanDiego]

Ignore any negative comments.

Ds3 was supremely fussy as a child, I refused to let it bother me and fed him what he liked. I never put food in front if him that I knew he wouldn't eat, I made him a separate meal if necessary.

He's now 14 and eats everything, I'm sure that's because there was no
pressure on him to eat when he was younger.

Keep going your way.

[sadbodyblue]

food is not worth a battle.

[hwjm1945]

yes, my dd2 would eat anything as a tiny, but is really fussy now - i susoect it is a bit of an affectation, anda control thing, but we are just telling her to try a bite of everything on the plate then eat what she can. hopefully it will sort itself out - DD1 was a shockingly fussy baby but now shouts for more spinach and cherry toms and olives and anything really, so it does change

[NoIamAngelaHernandez]

I think some of them are made.

Not by any means all, but definitely some.

[Ledaire]

Despite having many friends who have children with SN I've found that the "fussiest" eaters I have known have been neurotypical adult women.

[ButterdickCumberscotch]

So refreshing to hear of similar experiences. Thank you. The comment about those eating everything being overweight is interesting. I was made to clear my plate and will routinely eat food that I am not enjoying or when I am full whereas my DH would not dream of doing this.

[sadbodyblue]

^^ agree classySanDiago

[Ledaire]

This is the most validating book I have ever read.

[Bitofkipper]

I was a fussy eater and still am. So what!
I have lived a long and happy life. It isn't attention seeking or controlling, it's just personnel choice.

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

Yes and the whole "Well they only know what a chicken nugget is because you introduced them"

WELL HUH. I never thought of that

I mean, really. Show me a child (in the UK) who has never ever come across a chicken nugget. Or pizza. Or chips.

[firesidechat]

YANBU.

I have two children - one would eat anything and the other was incredibly fussy and generally traumatised by some foods. The fussy one was always a bit highly strung as a child and I'm pretty sure that she is a super taster, so was more sensitive to some tastes and textures.

After a short time of trying to force the issue, we decided to "let" the fussy one be fussy and tried to avoid making a big deal of it. She's a grown up now and eats most things and loves eating out.

I cringe when I hear about parents being advised to stand their ground and force their children to eat hated foods. In the early days I lost count of the number of times our child went to bed with no tea. We were never going to win that battle with a strong willed child, it was making us all miserable and her diet was reasonably healthy despite it's limitations.

[curiousuze]

I was classed as a fussy eater as a kid. I liked raw veg, fruit, milk, cereal, and chicken - and chocolate. But because I didn't like 'kid' stuff like burgers chips coke fish fingers etcetc I was 'fussy'. I just wasn't hungry a lot of the time - I drank a lot of milk. Your dd sounds very similar to me! I'd be over the moon to skip a meal.

And as soon as I had to cook for myself, all my fussiness disappeared. Now I'll eat absolutely ANYTHING. So there's hope.

[MissYamabuki]

Agree... as a parent of one of those toddlers who will eat anything (not huge amounts though), i take no credit for it, imo it's their nature / pot luck.

[firesidechat]

one thing I have learnt though. all of those toddlers who would 'eat anything' are now fat teens and adults.

I do have to disagree with this though. My child who would eat anything was a skinny child and teenager and a very slim adult. Let's not generalise about these things. Fussy eaters shouldn't be demonised, but neither should the ones who will indeed eat anything.

[falulahthecat]

My cousin had a similar thing, and it ended up being to do with some little lumps or cysts or something (I forget what it was as I was about 14 when this all went on) inside his DS's mouth that weren't easily seen near the back, completely benign, but it had this weird effect on him when it came to food texture, I presume with getting stuff stuck there!
Imagine his relief when his DS started eating lots more the year after a couple of operations and he could tell people to shove off!

[MrsFlorrick]

It's funny isn't it, how its always the parents fault.

My DC aren't fussy as such but they do have a very short list of things they hate.
Their hates are the foods most small DC adore. I get funny looks etc about it.

My DC hate cheese sauce (ie mac cheese, cauliflower cheese or lasagne). Which is odd because I love cheese sauce.
They love cheese as long as its not in sauce form. I've no idea why. And it's not my cheese sauce making skills either.

They also both hate ham. Most small DC love ham. So again raised eyebrows over that. But they will both eat bacon. I've tried to explain its similar to no avail.

And eggs. They can't stand omelettes or scrambled or any form of eggy food. I love eggs so again at a loss on that one.

Mine are 4.6 and 2.6. They were weaned at the appropriate age and with a massive variety of home made foods. And they eat a wide variety of food. Just not ham, eggs or cheese sauce!! So when we visit friends for dinner or lunch I end up with the questions and raised eyebrows because apparently "it's not normal".

[DoJo]

sadbodyblue I don't think the debate is furthered by accusing children who do eat anything of being prone to overeating in the future. (And for the record, my perfectly healthy toddler is going through an odd bean-loving phase at the moment, so would happily stop almost anything for a handful of then things! ).
If we could all accept that some children are keen to try new foods, some aren't and some are happy to one day and point blank refuse the other, then it would be a lot easier to manage.
Having said that, I do think that some parents mean well when they pass comment, usually if they have had a child who has gone through a fussy 'phase' and come out of it using various techniques rather than a child who is just fussy full stop.

[HauntedNoddyCar]

Yanbu. I get this attitude about Dd. She just will not eat some things and nothing has worked. She's 7. We've persevered with a couple of things and made some progress but these tend to be things like roast potato when she will eat chips or mash. She's rejected certain foods since weaning. She eats from different food groups, eats enough and is tall. But the ubermums can't understand why she won't eat cucumber.
Ds eats ANYTHING and despite the advice from helpful mums that she'll soon eat it when she sees him eating it, it has made not a jot of difference.

Otoh, I ate anything as a child then went veggie at 14. My db would only eat one thing as a toddler but as an adult he will eat anything and is a closet foodie and cook.

[YeahThatsWhatISaid]

My kids were fairly fussy when they were little but they ate a healthy'ish diet and I didn't feed them crap. I didn't see what buisness it was of anyone else's that my kids were fussy. They never asked for special food or put anyone else out. It would be different if they demanded their own food or complained about what they were given.
Now they are at Uni and cooking for themselves they all seem to take a lot of care about what they eat whilst a lot of their friends survive on pot noodles.
I eat anything and everything so I was a bit that my DCs were fussy.
One of my Teen girls is still too fussy but she is getting better.

[DoJo]

Oh Mrs Florrick - don't get me started! As a child (and as an adult in fact) I never liked jelly, ice cream or cake. I didn't like chocolate until I was about 10 and wasn't keen on sandwiches, crisps or any other food traditionally served at parties. Would give my right arm for a bowl of peas though (and still would) and have always eaten almost any other veg like it's going out of fashion!

[2tiredtocare]

My DD ate everything until she got a sickness bug when she was nearly two, after that she became really fussy and certain textures (ie mashed potato) still make her gag

[YeahThatsWhatISaid]

My eldest wouldn't eat pizza! chip or cake and wouldn't drink fizzy drinks - it made birthday parties (in the US) a bit tricky.

I'd just give him a sandwich in the car afterwards.