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To think there was something disturbing about this boy?

(253 Posts)

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MadameOvary Sun 25-Aug-13 19:28:16

Posting here so you can all give me a good slap and tell me not to be such an arse if I am BU.
DD, DP and I were at barbie at weekend with his two DD's. Lots of other parents with their DC. First I saw this boy is when DD was playing with a toy house. He kept running his car all over it. DD asked him to stop but he just ignored her and carried on. It wasn't her toy and I took the view that she should really share it as there was lots of kids there, but she wasn't having any of it.

I asked the boy, who was about 6 or 7, if he would play round the house instead of all over it but he just looked right through me. DD was getting really upset and trying to physically move his hand away but he was just carrying on. DD can be a bit funny about sharing so I didn't want to make a scene but had no clue what to do beyond taking the toy away. Fortunately at that point the boy's father came over and called him away, saying that he shouldn't be playing with doll's houses hmm

Later DP's DD came over and told me about this rude boy who had pushed her off a swing and said "Are you blind"? when walking behind her. I asked what he looked like and she described someone similar to this boy but as there were others who fitted the description I didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Next incident I witnessed was the boy trying to get under the table where some of the girls had made a den. He ignored their requests to go away until they were literally screaming at him, and still seemed unfazed. He seemed to have no concept of personal space and it appeared their distress left him completely unmoved. Again some parents had to intervene.

Final thing I witnessed was outside. He was trying to grab a bag of sweets from this girl who was carrying it. Again he ignored her telling him to leave her alone. He grabbed at the bag and she tried to push him away. He then hit her on the cheek. I shouted at him to stop. He just stood there with a faint smirk on his face. Completely unmoved. At that point his Dad came out and I told him what happened. The Dad was suprised and shocked. The boy only said, quite calmly "It wasn't on the face" hmm The Dad then asked the girls what happened and they told him the same. At that point the Dad took the boy to his car to give him (I presume) a good talking to.

While they were there I asked the girl was ok. She was fine - I was more upset than her I think!

They got out of the car at the same time we were leaving, and DP's DD said "That's the boy that was horrible to us"

So what I want to know is, am I BU/small-minded/naive in being freaked out by his behaviour? I'm around kids a lot and nothing much fazes me. Quite a few kids I know have SEN or ASD traits and I never automatically assume a kid is being "naughty", esp if they're distressed. But the way this child just stood calmly in the midst of all the chaos he was creating was quite unnerving.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 25-Aug-13 19:31:07

YABU to be "freaked out" unless you've led a very sheltered life dear.

MadameOvary Sun 25-Aug-13 19:31:59

Maybe I have then...

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 25-Aug-13 19:33:14

What exactly do you want from this thread? Everyone to come on and say "Ooh no...he sounds WEIRD...shouldn't be allowed to spoil other DC fun!" ?

Or do you want us all to speculate about his SEN? What exactly is it you're after?

HowlerMonkey Sun 25-Aug-13 19:34:10

I don't know if I'd use the word 'disturbing' but can see how it must have felt that way for you, given that you were getting increasingly concerned (I presume) for your DD being in the presence of child behaving unpredictably.

I'd bear it in mind if I were likely to ever see him again and attempt to forget it otherwise.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sun 25-Aug-13 19:34:29



YABVU to be " freaked out" by a child's behaviour that seems unusual.

MadameOvary Sun 25-Aug-13 19:34:45

Not at all, DD is five, just started school, if this is all regular stuff then I'd better get used to it and not be such a delicate flower...

Nancy66 Sun 25-Aug-13 19:35:01

I think it was just a kid who was a bit bored/hyper at a BBQ - he's not Damian from the Omen if that's what you're getting at.

MrsBungle Sun 25-Aug-13 19:35:20

Goodness, I see absolutely nothing to be "freaked out" about in that recount.

HowlerMonkey Sun 25-Aug-13 19:35:30

BTW I get freaked out by incredibly minor things and am blasé about big ones. Everybody is different NeoMaxi!

hettienne Sun 25-Aug-13 19:35:41

Don't really see the issue with the dolls house - why shouldn't he play with it? Sounds like the problem was more your DD wanting to own the toy.

Pushing off a swing and hitting over sweets sounds like fairly ordinary naughtiness.

Trying to join in with the girls excluding him - couldn't they have been told to play nicely instead of screeching?

IslaValargeone Sun 25-Aug-13 19:36:28

I can see two incidents of bad behaviour, the swing push and the slap, as for him being disturbed and you being 'freaked out' about this or anything else you have mentioned, I'm not getting it tbh.

Coconutty Sun 25-Aug-13 19:38:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameOvary Sun 25-Aug-13 19:38:40

I really don't know, this is just my POV.
Lol at Damien that never crossed my mind, honest

Damnautocorrect Sun 25-Aug-13 19:38:46

It sounds like he was trying to play was excluded by the girls and turned to naughtiness.

YouStayClassySanDiego Sun 25-Aug-13 19:38:59

He may have been badly behaved but he doesn't strike me, by your description anyway, as being out of the ordinary..

Holycowiloveyoureyes Sun 25-Aug-13 19:39:19


In fact your daughter sounds like the nasty one over the dolls house "incident".

He could well have ASD and not be sure of social situations.

BrianTheMole Sun 25-Aug-13 19:39:20

Why is it disturbing?

RoxyFox211 Sun 25-Aug-13 19:39:44

Feel a bit sorry for the lad in question tbf. Why wouldn't the girls in their den let him in?
No wonder he keeps acting out if he keeps being excluded from all the games and told to go away!

Holycowiloveyoureyes Sun 25-Aug-13 19:40:01

Hardly "disturbing" offs.

Holycowiloveyoureyes Sun 25-Aug-13 19:40:20

Ffs even.

hettienne Sun 25-Aug-13 19:40:59

OP, why didn't you intervene with your DD over the dolls house? Did anyone tell the girls to behave when they were shouting at him under the table?

YouTheCat Sun 25-Aug-13 19:41:00

My ds would have behaved like that if allowed to roam (which he wasn't often) but he's at the severe end of the autistic spectrum.

Maybe the dad should have been keeping a closer eye but other than that yabu.

Some of the other children could do with learning to share.

comingalongnicely Sun 25-Aug-13 19:41:02

Sounds like a little shit to me.

I'd have been annoyed, not freaked out though.

Glad his dad seemed to be embarrassed & acted, I would if it was my child.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sun 25-Aug-13 19:41:37

Whatever was behind his actions and attitude he made an impact on you and the children involved. At least it was only for a few hours. At 6 or 7 it seems less shocking than if he were ten years' older.

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