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AIBU to act like a petulant child & refuse to go to my own birthday party?

(144 Posts)
SBAustralia Tue 18-Jun-13 10:19:52

OK, so back story here...
It was my birthday & hubby asked what I wanted to do. We hadn't done anything with extended family for ages so I suggested a family dinner at this new French Bistro style restaurant that has been getting amazing reviews (from both professionals & regular diners). He agreed. I wrote out a guest list & he booked a big table & sent out invitations. About a week before the dinner he told me that his very high maintenance, very whiney sister is complaining that there's only one place she will eat at in town (the same place we go every single time there is a family function because she chucks a tantrum if we don't) & if we don't go there she won't come to the party & as she was the one who will be bringing Nanna & Poppy they won't be able to come either. DH, bless him, instead of telling her to grow up & stop being a bitch, told her he would "sort it out" with me. I told him "fuck her, I'll get my parents to bring his Nanna & Poppy" & thought that was the end of it. Not so. The day before the dinner I called the restaurant to ask if I my friend can bring a pram in (some places won't allow it due to NSW fire safety regulations) only to be told that the booking was cancelled during the week. I was furious!

So instead of getting mad & yelling I pretended I had no idea of any change. I did however make a reservation for ONE at the original restaurant. On the night of the dinner I dropped hubby at the old standard, told him I loved him & I'll see him later but I'm having dinner where I want to have dinner on my birthday!

Now, according to his family, I am juvenile & selfish. They want an apology. So I'm wondering, do I apologise for being so passive agressive (not normally my style) & explain that I was angry that MY birthday plans had been hijacked by their daughter & her own childish & selfish demands or do I tell them to fuck off?

bunchamunchycrunchycarrots Tue 18-Jun-13 10:23:12

grin YANBU!

Love it, fabulous way to deal with your SIL. I would suggest they look to her for an apology.

yanbu! its your birthday and thats where you want to go. his sister needs to grow up

dont apologise! they, and your dh, should be apologising to you

do what YOU want to do... not them

QueenofallIsee Tue 18-Jun-13 10:25:41

Unreasonable? No. Feckin legend? Absolutely.

High handed folks your in-laws eh! They will think twice next time.

blush realised that its already happened! good for you! grin

they still need to apologise to you

AndHarry Tue 18-Jun-13 10:26:20

grin That is brilliant OP but I'm sad that your friends missed out. Ask for an apology from SIL.

KansasCityOctopus Tue 18-Jun-13 10:26:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

childcarehell Tue 18-Jun-13 10:26:42

Much better than whining on about it, i like it.

grin Did you enjoy it?

FutTheShuckUp Tue 18-Jun-13 10:27:23

Why the HELL does your DH not stand up to his cows arse of a sister?

pudcat Tue 18-Jun-13 10:27:26

YANBU. But I would have reserved 2 places for me and DH to see where his loyalties really lie. SIL is a spoilt child.

M0naLisa Tue 18-Jun-13 10:28:11

Fuck her. Spoilt little brat.

stealthsquiggle Tue 18-Jun-13 10:29:35

Good for you. If you can be bothered to respond at all, definitely tell them to ask their daughter for the apology. Surely this all came out on the evening, or did it get fudged somehow?

YouTheCat Tue 18-Jun-13 10:30:30

I hope you had fun. Your sil should apologise for being a brat.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Tue 18-Jun-13 10:30:46

YANBU bloody good for you grin

Your husband sounds spineless though, how do you put up with that?

Shutupanddrive Tue 18-Jun-13 10:30:51

Good for you! grin

Badvoc Tue 18-Jun-13 10:31:13

I think your dh is the issue here tbh....

dreamingbohemian Tue 18-Jun-13 10:32:31

Ooooh I don't know.

On the one hand, your response was genius and if it had just been your DH and ILs, would have served them right.

But sounds like there were a lot of other people there? Who had nothing to do with it, and who probably had their night ruined by all the drama.

It sounds like it's your DH who you should really be angry with, and all this drama with the ILs is just a distraction from that. Yes your SIL was being selfish but your DH didn't have to go along with her, and you didn't have to go along with your DH.

Featherbag Tue 18-Jun-13 10:32:50

Well done you, I hope you didn't have to foot the bill though!!

andie123 Tue 18-Jun-13 10:34:13

YANBU this is absolutely brilliant, I hope you enjoyed your birthday meal. You have nothing to apologise for, your SIL sounds like a nightmare!

Leeds2 Tue 18-Jun-13 10:37:15

Who cancelled the original booking? Your OH, or the SIL?

I don't think I would've gone either, although I don't think I would have chosen to dine alone.

Mrschocolate Tue 18-Jun-13 10:37:43

That is brilliant OP.
I would of been pretty pissed with DH had he done that to me.
What did your DH say about it all ?

MummyPigsFatTummy Tue 18-Jun-13 10:37:55

Slightly confused why you didn't arrange for your friends/your family to join you at the original restaurant. Was there a reason?

GiveMumABreak Tue 18-Jun-13 10:38:19

YABU! for silently making your own reservation and not discussing this with anyone (are you trying to destroy your family realtionships?)

YANBU! for wanting your dinner where you originally chose. But should've discussed this with your family like an adult.

You sound like a bigger nighmare than your 'high maintenance' SIL - poor DH having the two of you in his life!

ENormaSnob Tue 18-Jun-13 10:39:12

Your dh is pathetic.

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