Advanced search

To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

(632 Posts)
Spru Wed 05-Dec-12 15:47:56

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate! hmm

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury...grin AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?



(please be gentle)

ethelb Wed 05-Dec-12 16:15:56

I thought muslims weren't supposed to depict humans in general, that's why there are none in Islamic art. But I thought that was art only and didn't think that it included plays. Or does it?

I'm not having a go I just went to a v multicultural school with muslim classmates and though their religion came up occassionally, this never did, and I am a bit confused.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Wed 05-Dec-12 16:16:02

Why couldn't your DC be a star/sheep/whatever? I fail to see how that's depicting a phrophet.

WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain Wed 05-Dec-12 16:16:08


Stop EVERYTHING, make your DCs feel even more excluded why dontcha?

If your answer is to stop Secret Santa, stop meals out then why don't you stop meals at home and everything else to do with Christmas.

p.s. you could always celebrate Happy Holidays and TRY to include your DC?

stormforce10 Wed 05-Dec-12 16:16:10

Luckily DD's friend's Muslim family don't take your point of view. She's Mary in the school nativity and they are proud as punch because their beautiful dd is gaining confidence and working really hard on learning her lines. they actually told me that its not about religion but about what the skills the children learn from it. I think YABU.

DD took part in a play about Diwali last month and it didn't worry me at all

LookBehindYou Wed 05-Dec-12 16:16:19

Hmmm, tricky. I can see your point of view but your dc is going to a UK school, no? So your colleagues are right in that you're not integrating. It's always fine to opt out, but you are making your dc opt out which doesn't seem fair.

Climbingpenguin Wed 05-Dec-12 16:16:47

there is a difference between acknowledging the event and not wanting to depict prophets. Just because she is happy to take part in some aspects does not make her a hypocrite IMO. In fact we pretty much all do it to one degree or another.

I am an atheist, so celebrate Christmas in non religious way. Just because I exclude certain elements doesn't mean I can't enjoy it as an event.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Wed 05-Dec-12 16:16:53

Can we all remember that the prophet will be a doll and not portrayed by a person.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Wed 05-Dec-12 16:17:36


MrsTerryPratchett Wed 05-Dec-12 16:17:56

If you don't believe in it, then it's just a story. That would be true for an atheist but Muslims and Jews 'believe' in Jesus just not that he is the son of God.

FWIW, OP, I think 'integration' is overrated, generally by people who are pretty much in the hegemony already so it suits them. Plow your own furrow. I'll come to Eid at your house if that will help. I 'integrate' with anything that involves yummy food.

gordyslovesheep Wed 05-Dec-12 16:18:34

the doll is STILL a physical representation Brandy

gordyslovesheep Wed 05-Dec-12 16:19:48

I think 'integration' is overrated, generally by people who are pretty much in the hegemony already so it suits them

oh and this ^

valiumredhead Wed 05-Dec-12 16:20:13

Massive double standards if you go out from Xmas dinners and take part in Secret Santa imo. I feel sad for your ds tbh.

LulaPalooza Wed 05-Dec-12 16:21:05

Thank you, FredFred for explaining. That makes more sense to me now.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 05-Dec-12 16:23:14

But valium its not double standards, really. The depiction of the prophet and his family is against the OP's (interpretation of her) religion. A cracker, a bit of pudding and a crappy gift isn't.

FredFredGeorge Wed 05-Dec-12 16:23:14

stormforce10 Not all Muslim groups are against the depiction - imagine if only Catholics felt a certain way, the fact other CofE people did it would be irrelevant.

HazelnutinCaramel Wed 05-Dec-12 16:23:20

OP, I understand about depicting a prophet. Would your religion allow them to be a sheep or a star or something?

upsylazy Wed 05-Dec-12 16:23:30

My DC's school has never had a nativity play which really disappoints me. I'm a militant atheist but would have no problem with any of them being in a nativity play - I would just tell them it's a story just like other stories. I just view it as a quaint tradition rather than a really religious thing.

mistlethrush Wed 05-Dec-12 16:23:37

My son's class has children with a range of faiths - some quite strict. However, they all took part in the Nativity play - there are plenty of 'non' prophet related parts

HazelnutinCaramel Wed 05-Dec-12 16:23:54

And I don't think you're refusing to integrate, that's rubbish and hurtful.

Climbingpenguin Wed 05-Dec-12 16:24:10

it's not a double standard, they are two separate entities

Dead69Girl Wed 05-Dec-12 16:25:01

YANBU. Your child, your rules.

hugoagogo Wed 05-Dec-12 16:25:02

I wouldn't bother with trying to integrate in this way, we don't all have to do things the same way to be integrated.

Imagine how great it would be if noone felt they hadto take part in Christian festivals.

valiumredhead Wed 05-Dec-12 16:26:02

Oh I know but I still think it's a bit shit. It's all about the nativity in schools during the lead up to Christmas.

What mistle said

monsterchild Wed 05-Dec-12 16:28:03

Wow, the lack of understanding on this is pretty impressive!

I agree with the hegemony comment, gordy, why is it ok for all the parents of kids in the play to be brainwashing their kids about Christmas, but not ok for OP to want her kids to follow the tenants of their religion?

Double standards is right.

You do what is best for your kids, OP. It sounds like they understand why they are not participating and are ok with that.

hugoagogo Wed 05-Dec-12 16:32:00

I think primary schools should spend a lot less time on the nativity in the run up to christmas; it should not dominate the school day, but sadly does.

Thankfully at secondary schools they concentrate on learning all year around.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: