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to have said something to this man at the pool about his baby? Or should I have said something earlier?

(214 Posts)
TickledOnion Sun 07-Oct-12 20:21:39

At DD1's swimming lesson today, a man got into the public bit of the pool with a 7 week old baby in just a swim nappy. The pool is at a private gym and quite a pleasant temperature for adults but too cold for an almost naked baby. I take DD2, 8mo, swimming there with a swim nappy, swim pants and a wet suit. (Possibly overkill, but she seems quite happy).

I was really unsure whether to say anything and asked another mum who agreed with me but also didn't say anything. They stayed in for about 10 minutes and then I saw them again in the family changing room. At this point I mentioned to the man that you can buy wetsuits for babies as it can be quite cold in the pool. He said he didn't know and asked where he could get one.

Should I have said something earlier? Or nothing at all? The baby didn't seem unhappy and luckily the man took my comments as well meaning advice rather than criticism. More a WWYD than AIBU?

Viviennemary Sun 07-Oct-12 20:48:21

I don't think I would have said anything. But on the other hand I think you acted with good intentions and the man seemed to know you were only being helpful. I don't really agree with taking small babies swimming. I think you can catch all sorts at swimming pools. Dons tin hat. I tried it when DD was very small and neither of us enjoyed it very much mainly because I was probably a nervous wreck.

GoldShip Sun 07-Oct-12 20:49:45

They don't need bloody wet suits.

sleeplessinderbyshire Sun 07-Oct-12 20:50:20

our swim school won't let babies under 3 months swim without a wetsuit unless the lesson is in a hydrotherapy pool. I take DD2 swimming and have done since 6 weeks, we swim in a hydrotherapy pool at 36 degrees (like a giant bath) when we took her swimming on holiday she wore a splashabout baby wetsuit. I think I'd have done as you did OP - i think it sounds as if you were helpful and tactful and informative

trixymalixy Sun 07-Oct-12 20:50:44

I think if the baby had been cold, everyone would have known all about it!!

The neoprene baby wetsuits do make a big difference. The baby swimming lessons I used to go to had them available to use if the babies were getting cold. I only used one once and DD was definitely more comfortable and stopped shivering.

secondseverncrossing Sun 07-Oct-12 20:50:49

I think YABU - the baby was being perfectly well cared for and clearly wasn't in any distress.

I don't understand why you felt you needed to involve another mother in it either?

I had a baby wetsuit for DD1 (PFB) which was handed down to DD2 who frequently refused to wear it and was no worse off it.

Wallace Sun 07-Oct-12 20:51:28

I did buy one opf those wet suits when my ds2 was tiny, but the pool was freezing!

3duracellbunnies Sun 07-Oct-12 20:51:48

I wouldn't have said anything, but I do put ds (3) in a wetsuit, but only cos purple lips don't really suit him but he loves the water and with a wetsuit we can stay in for over an hour. Maybe he will get a wet suit, maybe not, but I don't think swim suits keep them particularly warm and there was no need to say anything earlier as what would he have done, said 'oh didn't think of that, will just pop to the wetsuit shop and get one and be back in an hour.' At 2 months you don't really need to spend a long time in the water anyway, it is just familiarisation which is why mine just went in a cosy bath at that age

akaemmafrost Sun 07-Oct-12 20:52:16

You sound like a nosy old busybody.

BertieBotts Sun 07-Oct-12 20:53:10

They were in for ten minutes!

I think the dad sounded fine and totally aware of his baby's temperature and comfort.

It was nice of you to recommend the swimsuit, but don't worry yourself that you didn't spare the baby that 10 minutes of getting wet, I'm sure it didn't mind.

In fact it was probably a good thing that you said so at the end - more tactful smile

Noqontrol Sun 07-Oct-12 20:53:38

I don't think there was any harm in passing on a tip, although the baby didn't sound distressed anyway. And I am certain that if the baby had been cold then he or she would have been quite vocal about it.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 07-Oct-12 20:55:49

op, if i were that parent i would have smiled at you and politly reminded you that it was indoors in the uk and then in the sprit of being a friendly parent told you that companies that sell stuff like that wetsuit (for indoor pool use) inperticular that company do so to appeal towards those parents with more money than sense.then told you that you didnt need to fall for it as useless baby related products do not make you a better parent.

CookingFunt Sun 07-Oct-12 20:56:40

The summer dc2 was born was a scorcher and we used to bring her into our pool naked. Oh how I used to rush dc1 to school so I could get into the pool when I was pregnant.
So yabu.

CookingFunt Sun 07-Oct-12 20:59:07

Our own pool,not naked swimming in a public one. Its one of those inflatable ones with a ladder and temp thing.

DoMeDon Sun 07-Oct-12 21:00:22

Just because it's AIBU certain posters have to be insulting and have a rant. OP was genuinely worried, albeit misguided. She has been pleasant and spoke to the man nicely. He may well have been glad of the info. I have never used a wet suit, but friends who have, really like them as they can swim longer without their DC turning blue.

Scheherezade Sun 07-Oct-12 21:01:17


Bit unfair. I wasn't able to take my DS swimming till I got him a wetsuit as he would just scream and get very distressed. Now I have a lovely neoprene suit (for a bargain off ebay) he loves going to the pool smile

MousyMouse Sun 07-Oct-12 21:01:22

it was only a short time, baby didn't seem distressed or blue with cold.

maddening Sun 07-Oct-12 21:01:27

If it is a leisure pool then they are at a slightly higher temp nearer 30¤.

When we go to the baby swim lessons they have the pool at about 32¤ and no need for wetsuits for a 30minesson so the baby was likely fine.

If it was a lot lower then the baby mighty need a wetsuit or to come out v soon e.g. 10mins - so all was probably well.

Yanbu as you obviously approached the man in a nice way and the wetsuit mighty allow him to swim for longer with his dc.

EugenesAxe Sun 07-Oct-12 21:01:51

Good grief... you have come in for a lot of stick on this thread Onion. OK, so the child wasn't going to get hypothermia with a ten minute swim but I don't think it would have hurt to have let him know. I don't get the impression you said it agressively, or with a highly disapproving tone, in which case YWHBU.

And baby wetsuits are wetsuits... not just 'long sleeved swimsuits'. FWIW when I took DS to baby swimming lessons, we all had to dress up our children in the get-up you describe. Only in a hydrotherapy pool of 30 degs+ was it OK to stick them in wearing a swim nappy and 'happy nappy'.

Scheherezade Sun 07-Oct-12 21:02:25

Sorry, that was in reply to sock

maddening Sun 07-Oct-12 21:03:29

Might not mighty confused

TheDetective Sun 07-Oct-12 21:03:43

And what would they have done if you said you weren't going to put the 'wetsuit' on?!

Freedom of choice.... thank god...!

TickledOnion Sun 07-Oct-12 21:04:02

Thanks DoMeDon. I decided to ignore the rude comments but I can see how things can easily turn into a bunfight if you don't.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 07-Oct-12 21:06:01

fwiw, if the baby had of been showing any sign of distress then i wouldnt reply like that.

but you gave a 'helpful' tip to a parent that clearly had no need for it, sorry but that smacks of superiorty and isant nice even if you thought your heart was in the right place it wasnt unless they needed the tip.

TickledOnion Sun 07-Oct-12 21:06:38

I guess some people can work themselves up over the smallest things.
EugenesAxe sounds like we went to similar lessons. That's what I was basing my opinion on.

AnnieLobeseder Sun 07-Oct-12 21:09:44

Fair enough to tell him that wetsuits exist, I don't think you were being rude and I'm sure your intentions were good. But I'd agree with others that babies don't need them, and you're being precious to think they do. Mine coped fine without. Any half-competent parent keeps and eye in their child's temperature in the pool.

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