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To be sick of hearing how wonderful it it to have baby Harper after 3 boys

(145 Posts)
oliandjoesmum Wed 28-Sep-11 13:39:47

Beckham at it again today. Know am being petty, and sure will be told I shouldn't care, but as a Mum of 3 boys do hate this constant insistence in the Western World that girls rule and boys are devils spawn. It makes me feel sorry for the Beckham boys, like they have been sidelined. Feeling a bit personal about this one at the moment, sister having girl to provide my Mum with first granddaughter after 4 grandsons. Really quite fed up with conversations about how amazing it will be compared to having noisy/ never sit still/ crap clothes wearing/non ballet dancing/ non horse riding/ dirty/ raucous boys(mothers words - not mine!)

GypsyMoth Wed 28-Sep-11 13:41:39

I understand!! And I agree

I had 2 girls followed by 3 boys, I don't get how a girl baby makes it ANY different!

GetOrfMo1Land Wed 28-Sep-11 13:43:34

I think it works the other way as well, remember all that crap when Jamie Oliver's son was born after 3 girls.

caughtinanet Wed 28-Sep-11 13:44:36

I've had the same thoughts myself.

How must those boys feel to have to keep reading about how wonderful a girl is. I know that what we see in the papers isn't necessarily the whole story but I worry that they are going to have problems about this in the future as I suspect Harper will always be the golden child.

NickyNackyNooNoo Wed 28-Sep-11 13:45:33

Totally agree!

I have 2 boys - constantly get asked "oh that's a shame no girl!". Firstly how rude secondly couldn't give a flying flip I love my boys wouldn't change them for the world. I'm just grateful I have two healthy and happy children smile
YANBU in the slightest!

worraliberty Wed 28-Sep-11 13:46:16

What a strange OP (and I say that as the mum of 3 boys)

If you're happy with what you've got, let others be happy with what they've got.

I don't think the Beckham boys have been sidelined at all.

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo Wed 28-Sep-11 13:48:36

Perhaps Harper (and the OP's niece) will be noisy dirty energetic jeans-wearing ballet-refusniks? You can only force them to wear pink for so long ...

ScarlettIsWalking Wed 28-Sep-11 13:48:45

I think you are letting some personal feelings get in the way of reality here. It is always a point of interest when someone has a boy/ girl after many of a different sex. It's just a talking point not an affront to the male sex.

begonyabampot Wed 28-Sep-11 13:49:45

YABU to be bothered by it and YAB even more unreasonable to read it when it annoys you and taking time to talk about it on here. Let them enjoy there baby, don't think it reflects on their feelings for their sons at all.

Jojay Wed 28-Sep-11 13:49:58

Agreed. I have b/g twins after 2 boys, and get endless comments and questions - 'Is it lovely to finally have a girl?' etc etc.

Er, no, she's 10 wks old, and therefore much the same as her brother, and any other 10 wk old baby. Can't say I'm noticing any gender differences yet.

I hate it too, and get all defensive about my boys when people start up.

chicletteeth Wed 28-Sep-11 13:51:11

Oh FGS, the beckham boys are not being sidelined at all.

I don't think people think girls rule and boys come second.

I think if you had 3 girls, a 4th child who was a boy would get just as much fuss.

I have three boys; boys rock!

Got no comments on girls, haven't got any - don't want any either (what I mean by that is that I'm done at 3)

AKMD Wed 28-Sep-11 13:52:29

YANBU. I don't know why people think that children of the same sex all have the same personality and interests and therefore you are doomed to boredom by having just boys or just girls.

I have to say though, when my friend announced she was having another boy, she was pretty upset (she knew she and her DH only wanted 2 DC) and I think I would probably feel the same. We didn't find out whether we were having a boy or a girl until DS was born and I know DH was hoping for a boy to throw up in the air, play football with and teach DIY to hmm while I was thinking of all the special times I had growing up with just me and my mum and hoping that I would have the same thing with a daughter of my own. I don't think that is shallow or feel the need to apologise for it. I love my DS to bits and never wish that he was a girl, in the same way that I don't wish that he had brown hair or green eyes, but it isn't likely that he's ever going to appreciate being dressed in a lovely dress and taken to see the Nutcracker at Royal Covent Garden as a Christmas tradition smile

chicletteeth Wed 28-Sep-11 13:53:08

I am one girl of three boys and my mum didn't have her lovely little pink, dolly-playing, dress-wearing angel.

No Siree!

I was a trouser-wearing, boy-fighting, doll-hating girl who really wasn't very girly. Harper may end up the same way.

chicletteeth Wed 28-Sep-11 13:53:33

That would be one girl out of a three boy family

AnitaDrink Wed 28-Sep-11 13:54:26

But if they'd had 3 girls then a boy it'd be the same story..How wonderful for David to have someone to play football with at last... blah blah.

Does this come from them or is it a load of old tosh from the papers I wonder? The Beckhams may have their faults but they seem loving parents.

I hate any preference being mentioned when babies are born. Having a boy and 2 girls I would have been just as happy whatever they'd been.

Agree that boys get a worse deal though sad and girls are not always plain sailing.

5inthebed Wed 28-Sep-11 13:54:56

YANBU to feel that way about the way you have been treated I wouldn;t bother about VB though, her DD might be a massive tomboy only interested in cars and wearing jeans and t shirts.

I have three boys, when I was pg with my third, everyone was saying what a shame it was hmm. I would have liked a girl, but purely to dress her up. i dont think I could handle the temperment of a girl, I hav two neices and that is enough for my. I do get sick of the "are you going to try for a girl" line. Do people nt think my family is complete without a girl?

Pagwatch Wed 28-Sep-11 13:56:17

I have managed to get from new beckhams birth to your op without reading a single thing about her/them.
If you are sick of it you may want to look at what you are reading/watching/listening to.

Francagoestohollywood Wed 28-Sep-11 13:57:07

YABU. Beckham has only been saying how lovely it is to have had a little girl, he isn't saying that his boys are the devil's spawn. He seems pretty fond of his brood!

There is nothing strange if parents of x number of children of the same sex are happy when they discover that the next one is different, why not?

Your mother's comments on the other hand are not nice at all.

LydiaWickham Wed 28-Sep-11 13:57:24

A friend of mine has just had a second DS, she had previously said she wanted 3 or 4 DCs, and a helpful health visitor told her "never mind, you might have a girl next time." She was over the moon to have a healthy child, how to make a mum of a newborn feel terrible...

It is this sort of comment that has made me rethink my plan to have 3 DCs, I would love 3, but as I have a DS already, if the next is another boy, I'm not going to have a 3rd as I would hate people to make comments about 'keeping going until you get the girl'. I'd hate any child of mine to feel unwanted.

JemimaMuddledUp Wed 28-Sep-11 13:57:31

I had two boys and then a girl. I have to say that I did get annoyed with people expecting we were trying for a girl, we didn't mind which DC3 was.

But having had her, it is nice to have both boys and a girl. I know friends who have had a boy after 2 girls say the same. There is nothing wrong with having all the same, but it does feel a bit different having both.

Having said that DD is a football playing, tree climbing tomboy and is just as noisy as her 2 brothers put together. So forget the cliches!

chicletteeth Wed 28-Sep-11 13:58:01

5inthebed I get that all the time too.
Aren't you going to have another (err,no), but you so much want a girl (err, no), I bet that's really hard work with 3 little boys isn't it (err, yes but 3 little girls may not be any easier).

I also get a lot of " ooh, 3 boys, you are so blessed, your husbands definitely going to heaven"

To which I am hmm WTF

oliandjoesmum Wed 28-Sep-11 13:59:43

Not sure it is the same the other way round though, when a boy arrives after lots of girls. Sorry if people think is a strange OP, and really I KNOW I shouldn't care, and I know I am being a bit childish. I guess it is just a bit personal to me at the moment because I feel My parents won't be interested in my boys once they get their granddaughter. I am one of 4 girls myself, really have been on the other side of the fence.
I really do love my boys, and I am not dissatisfied with what I have, but really, I don't think I am inventing the fact that there is a girl preference in our culture.

Bramshott Wed 28-Sep-11 14:00:29

My first thought was WTF is Harper?! Then I managed to work it out. Maybe read/listen to /watch different stuff?

MIFLAW Wed 28-Sep-11 14:01:18

"We didn't find out whether we were having a boy or a girl until DS was born and I know DH was hoping for a boy to throw up in the air, play football with and teach DIY to while I was thinking of all the special times I had growing up with just me and my mum and hoping that I would have the same thing with a daughter of my own."

Right there is the real reason this sort of nonsense goes on.

When you have a child, it's just a child. You want to teach your child DIY? Do that. Girls can do DIY just as well as boys.

You want to go to the ballet? Go to the ballet. Nothing to stop a boy liking ballet (though I accept wearing a dress is a different thing.)

Speaking as the father of two daughters (who will NOT be doing DIY because, like lots of men, I am rubbish at DIY; but who WILL be playing football if they fancy it.)

chicletteeth Wed 28-Sep-11 14:02:01

I can honestly say I've never been made aware of a girl preference.
But having a 4th child that is male when the other three are female,or vice versa, would draw attention whichever way it was.

Why on earth would somebody prefer a girl?

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