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AIBU?

To think that my house purchaser is a ....

145 replies

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 22:16

full on mentalist?

There are so many things to tell you I need to drip feed them. First, I warned her that as it is a very old house there are bats in the attic, as there are in most old country houses. You never see them, except outside, at dusk. You never hear them. But they are there, and they are protected. She asked if she could come and stand in my loft with a torch to see if any of them swooped around her, because she couldn't cope if they did, and she was worried they might escape into the house.

Then there were the gyspies that we don't have. Our house is surrounded by privately owned (not by us) land. She started to worry that our next door neighbour who owns the land might allow gypsies onto it. I said that the very reason he bought the land around his house (some from the farmer and some from the church) is to make sure that gypsies wouldn't go on it at any point in the future. Keeping some control, see? I have never seen a gypsy within ten miles of here. But still she fretted. And fretted.

And there is more......

OP posts:

Report

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 22:17

I know what you are thinking, You are thinking that's not particularly mentalist. You wait. I'm dripping, remember.

OP posts:

schobe · 08/09/2011 22:18

Need more I'm afraid.

So far only quirky imo.

BatsUpMeNightie · 08/09/2011 22:18

I love bats I do.

aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 22:18

Hmmm. Nutjob. Oh the joys of buying/selling homes that I've never had to endure... at this rate I never bloody will!!!

schobe · 08/09/2011 22:18

Agog

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:18

LemonDifficult · 08/09/2011 22:19

Well, let's be having it, then...

She does sound quite bats so far.

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:19

come on get on with it

can't sit here all night

aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 22:19

What no one thinks that wanting to stand in a bat's home to see if they flap in the daytime when they're asleep is weird???????

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:19

...I only came on here to check you didn't mean meeeeeee

ColdSancerre · 08/09/2011 22:20

Are the bats in the attic or sleeping in the gaps between the roof tiles, where they overlap? At my parents house they don't enter the attic but sleep in the roof like I said.

Anyway, more details please, I love bonkers people.

slavetofilofax · 08/09/2011 22:20

Ok, just because I want to know what else she did.

A house is a huge purchase, she is being perfectly reasonable wanting to know about as many aspects of the house that she possibly can before she spends hunderds of thousands on it. I wouldn't want bats flying round my head either!

schobe · 08/09/2011 22:20

tick tick

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:22

'I said that the very reason he bought the land around his house (some from the farmer and some from the church) is to make sure that gypsies wouldn't go on it at any point in the future. Keeping some control, see? I have never seen a gypsy within ten miles of here.'

roffle roffle

you are Enid Blyton and I claim my 10 shilling prize

LovelyCuppa · 08/09/2011 22:22

Come on then!

FellatioNelson · 08/09/2011 22:23

Right, so we exchange contracts, after lots of brow soothing about bats and gypsies, and she says 'can I have a couple fo people round to measure up stuff?' 'Sure' I say. 'No problem. Who would you like to come round?'

The man to measure for blinds.

Fired Earth to supply new bathrooms.

A tree surgeon

An architect

A plumber

A surround sound/home cinema man

My house is not especially (or at all) derelict so all these things could wait.

And there's more.....

OP posts:

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:23

hurry up

otherwise it'll be just me and you, Fellatio, and it might get a bit awkward

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:24

yaaaaaaaaaay!

x posts

schobe · 08/09/2011 22:25

Sounds like a chancer. Hope you said no to all those.

Merlotmonster · 08/09/2011 22:25

she's a timewaster..guaranteed....anyone who measures up for blinds always is

Vallhala · 08/09/2011 22:25

Bats? You have bats? That's a selling point as far as I'm concerned! :o

SpringHeeledJack · 08/09/2011 22:27

he he he at man to measure blinds

have you heard the joke? Girl says to mum "there's a blind man at the door"

so mum gets out of bath, doesn't bother getting dressed

BM: "nice tits, missus- now where d'you want these blinds?"

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PootlePosyPerkin · 08/09/2011 22:28

....and..... . Someone from Waitrose to see which brand of tomato sauce bottle fits best in the kitchen cupboards?

SarahStratton · 08/09/2011 22:28

So it's safe, the sale? Now you've exchanged contracts? Come on, what else has she done?

[needs to go to bed emoticon]

MadamDeathstare · 08/09/2011 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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