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To ask DP to stop calling the cat names?

(145 Posts)
DropRedFred Fri 17-Jun-11 13:25:55

The cat belongs to DD and she is very protective over it. DP keeps saying it is fat and calls it chubby chops etc. It is a little overweight but these names really upset DD and when I ask him not to do it he says I'm being ridiculous and the cat won't be crying itself to sleep over it. But I explained it upset DD and he said she needs to learn not to be so sensitive which I thought was a bit off.
The cat's name is Sookie and DP has a habit of calling it "sooks" for short. DD has asked everyone in the house not to do this as she likes the cat to be called by it's full name yet again DP insists on going against this and constantly calls it sooks.
I know it's only a cat but when it's upsetting DD and causing arguments AIBU to expect a grown adult to just call the cat by its real name and not make remarks about its weight all the time?

5Foot5 Fri 17-Jun-11 13:29:12

Sorry but I think YABU. I agree with your DH actually that your DD is being oversensitive and you are doing her no favours by encouraging it.

Anyway I can think of far worse names he might call a cat...

TooManyBlossoms Fri 17-Jun-11 13:31:32

TBH I think I agree with your DP in that your DD needs to be a little bit less sensitive! Although if DP is deliberately calling the cat names purely to upset DD then YANBU.

My cat is regularly referred to as fat bastard, DD did say we'd be sorry when she (the cat) develops anorexia grin.

Trifle Fri 17-Jun-11 13:33:44

Oh for gods sake, it's a stupid frigging cat.

DropRedFred Fri 17-Jun-11 13:35:08

Yes but DD is only just turned 13 and surely it's not unreasonable to expect a grown man to respect the fact that he's upsetting a child and to stop?

Ephiny Fri 17-Jun-11 13:36:03

How old is your DD? If she's old enough to have a cat of her own (please tell me you don't give animals to young children as though they're toys?) then surely she must be practically grown-up, therefore old enough not to be so upset by such a silly thing?

I really don't think the cat will be offended!

DropRedFred Fri 17-Jun-11 13:36:46

She turned 13 in May

Trifle Fri 17-Jun-11 13:37:34

Why are you acting as the messenger. Tell your dd to tell him herself.

TobyLerone Fri 17-Jun-11 13:37:35

This is a wind-up, right?

She's 13 and upset over the name of a cat?

<snort>

muffinflop Fri 17-Jun-11 13:37:43

13?! I thought you were going to say 4 or 5!

YABU

feedthegoat Fri 17-Jun-11 13:38:07

Seriously? Your dd is 13 and you honestly think she can't cope with not liking someone shorten her cats name to Sooks?

How on earth is she going to cope in the real world if she can't cope with that?

AgentZigzag Fri 17-Jun-11 13:38:10

'the cat won't be crying itself to sleep over it'

grin at the cat laying there, lonely and upset, it's favorite pillow wet from the tears grin

My brothers pet name for his cat was lardy, we called my mates cat 'Fat Alan' (wasn't even called Alan) I mostly call one of our cats the nick name poppet for some reason.

Whatever age your DD is, it shouldn't be causing arguments, tell her he's teasing the cat and calling it a pet name, doesn't sound traumatic in any way.

BTW, could you be making it worse by taking your DD seriously and not just laughing and brushing off what she's saying?

AgentZigzag Fri 17-Jun-11 13:39:35

I was thinking possibly 4/5 as well, at 13 sounds like a bit of a 'I'm going to go in an arse if you don't do what I say' thing.

purplepidjin Fri 17-Jun-11 13:39:49

Is this an indicator of how he treats your DD generally or is it just this one issue where he's a bit dismissive?

If it's the former, it's a big deal. He needs to respect her feelings.

If it's the latter, then don't make a big deal of it and put chilli seeds in his food every he does it

OTheHugeManatee Fri 17-Jun-11 13:39:53

We had a cat once who got a bit fat. Someone in the family started calling it 'Pinhead', and I'm convinced it gave the cat ishoos, as it moved out shortly after and was never seen again sad

Ephiny Fri 17-Jun-11 13:42:08

If this is real, then she's being ridiculous, and you are not helping by pandering to her nonsense - I'd just stay out of the whole name thing. But do help her get that poor chubby cat on an appropriate diet! wink

Madlizzy Fri 17-Jun-11 13:43:59

At 13 she needs to get over it! One of our cats, Brian, was nicknamed Smelly Head when he had an infected wound from a bit on the top of his head. The name stuck and the kids think it's hilarious.

thecatatemygymsuit Fri 17-Jun-11 13:44:17

confused
Your dd is 13? Mine is 4 and I'd tell her to get a grip if she behaved like that! Not trying to be too harsh, but is she a bit over-sensitive?
The cat won't give a toss what it's called btw.

BooyHoo Fri 17-Jun-11 13:44:17

i'm wondering if your DD is projecting onto the cat. could it be that someone is calling her names and she is trying to let everyone know how much it is hurting her?

DropRedFred Fri 17-Jun-11 13:47:47

I suppose she's just used to it being me and her and I guess she is used to getting things done her way but now that DP and his DS are here she's having to compromise more.

excaligirl Fri 17-Jun-11 13:47:48

Wow. So OP's DD is "ridiculous," too sensitive, etc etc etc. Why is everyone so quick to dismiss this girl's feelings? "Pandering to her nonsense"? The empathy is overwhelming . . . .

Seems to me that if a grown man is using name-calling of a pet to get at his own daughter -- he KNOWS it bothers her, so why do it? -- there MIGHT be more to it.

Maryz Fri 17-Jun-11 13:48:55

We have two cats, they are referred to as "the fat one" and "the skinny" one, or more usually "that bloody cat".

On the off-chance this isn't a joke, I would have thought that by 13, your dd could live with this type of thing. Obviously if the cat is upset by the name-calling, your dh should stop grin.

DropRedFred Fri 17-Jun-11 13:49:10

Exactly excaligirl. DD is not his but even so if an adult knows he is upsetting a child why would you carry on? and since we specifically asked them not to do it, his DS does it even more and DP just laughs it off.

MindyMacready Fri 17-Jun-11 13:49:51

DD is 13! I thought she would be about 4. YABU

Reiden Fri 17-Jun-11 13:50:34

13? I was expecting you to say she was 3 or 4. YABU

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