If you are mid 50s, how do you feel about things?

[ssd]

It can be anything, health, wealth, family, the future....

[ssd]

I'll start

I feel physically ok, although I've got health anxiety and am a worrier, I've avoided hrt and have been ok with the menopause ,but definitely warmer all the time

I'm getting less able to put up with bullshit

[Smallredclip]

I’m early fifties. I have never been happier. My dickhead STBXH is out of my life. I am financially fine, the kids are healthy and happy, we have a puppy, I have lovely friends, I’ve cut the drama in my life and I am very contented.

Physically my knees are a bit shit. But a lot of my other health worries went away when my XH did.

Emotionally I catch myself smiling at how contented and “present” I am.

Bloody hell I sound awfully smug!

The only thing I would change is to make my parents more healthy. They are a worry.

[LemonRoses]

Quite excited.
The children are settling into careers and relationships. Weddings have happened/are happening. They are fairly self sufficient but want us around for some things still.
No mortgage and several income streams as we head towards retirement. We’re comfortable financially.
We still like each other’s company and make each other laugh. We have good friends who are important to us.
I enjoy my work, but it’s not everything. I’ve published four books this year as a sideline. They are selling well and I have a contract for two more by November. They are generating additional opportunities.

There are still plenty of things to look forwards to and I still want to widen my horizons. Now the children are grown, it feels like our time for us. It’s nice.

[Summersnake]

I ruined my life being a stay at home mum ..2 kids with SEN ,will always live at home ..
Due to not working,I can’t leave a relationship,that I think I would like to leave .
Actually,if I had money and the means ,I would live alone
I overeat to love myself ,but the weight gain makes me hate myself.
A relative has gone in to a rest home ,like a hotel ,I feel sad I will never be able to go somewhere so luxurious,as my home will need to pass on to my children,so they have a roof over their head .

[Itscoldouthere]

I feel a bit more confused with life.
Heath ok although I could do with loosing some weight, I have gained a fat tummy which I hate. I take HRT which has really helped with many things.
I find supporting my young adult children harder than when they were small and feel a bit useless at times.
I feel sad that friends have been getting ill, cancer seems to come up too often and so many people dealing with unwell elderly parents (not me mine have already passed).
I still love my partner and I’m grateful that we are happily looking forward together.
I feel more reflective, we’ve made some mistakes along the way and won’t do everything I maybe dreamed of, but we are still trying to do new exciting things and keep our life interesting.
I’ve stopped caring about being judged by others.

[Summersnake]

I was a lot more confident when I was early 20s late teens …I’ve totally lost my mojo and spark as I’ve got older .
You guys will the great lives up thread ,need to tell me how it’s done ,your lives with puppies and publishers of books sounds awesome

[Smallredclip]

Summersnake it’s been small steps and I haven’t always been this way. I’d say though, Eckharte Tolle’s audio books have been amazing for me - just being in the moment.

I have also let go of unhelpful things - the need to be thinner, for example. Nope. I have nice hair and my skin is good so I’m focusing on that.
I also have started prioritising self care - even if that means doing stuff which may appear to be indulgent to others. I’m Catholic and have way too much guilt so have let a lot go, and I realised that actually no one gives a shit.

I think Glennon Doyle’s book sparked it all off. “I’m a grown ass woman and I can do what the fuck I like.”

[LisbethSalamander]

I am 50 and physically reasonably healthy- tho have a thicker waist- but feel quite lost and alone. Financially ok, but I seem to have lost all my friends - long story I have started another thread about- and DS has moved away. Covid has made me look at the world through a different lense and I feel pessimistic about so many things-climate change, globalisation, employment.... Feel anxious all the time bcos of peri-menopause.
I should count my blessings of health and wealth.

[WhatHaveIFound]

On the plus side home/family life is great. Over the last year DH and I have enjoyed being together all the time. DD is finally coming off antidepressants and DS finishes Y11 tomorrow. Work is picking up (the joys of being self employed in a pandemic) and we don't have any money worries.

But my parents have ongoing health issues which are both stressful and time consuming for me. I've spoken to my mum on the phone every single day since the first lockdown and it's emotionally exhausting. When I visit I often pull off their street, park up in the next road and have a good cry before coming home and carrying on as normal.

Overall I'd say there are more good days than bad though so I can't complain.

[Summersnake]

Smallredclip, if only I could do as like ..
I’ve spent my whole life putting everyone first except myself.
I didn’t expect 2 dc with SEN ,that would never leave home ,
My 17 year old self would be horrified at how I live ,just a mum and housewife,constantly reminded of such by one dc with SEN ,because I left his dinner in the oven to keep warm rather than plate it up ….he asked me what else I had to do and I was a housewife so it was my job to serve his dinner .
I’d have to throw the whole family under a bus to put myself first

[DuesToTheDirt]

Not a great time for me. Before the pandemic I would lie awake at night worrying about climate change and Brexit. During the pandemic I've been lying awake worrying about the future for my YA children - careers etc, and also the state of society as evidenced by selfish behaviour all around us. I find having YA children more stressful than small children as the stakes are higher but your level of input and control is much lower.

My weight is fine, some health problems in the last year (unusual for me). I'm starting to feel old though.

And the pandemic has made me realise I need a kick up the backside. Too much time sitting about watching the telly, I need to do something more creative or productive.

[ssd]

I worry about the future for my young adult children too. They are still students, eldest has spent years studying, working hard and is now ready to start a career....and there's nothing there. Its awful. I think if you're kids started careers before all this they were lucky. This generation feels fucked. And i don't know how to advise them.

[Smallredclip]

Also I have embraced antidepressants. Bloody marvellous things

[Fiffy50]

Ashamed.

5 stone overweight. Unfit. Stiff. Worried about my health.

Out of work (2 years) In 40k debt plus mortgage that we’ll be paying till my partner’s 70th birthday (over £1000 a month for a £165k terrace - 1st time buyers 5 years ago)

Partner has chronic health condition that means he could have to stop work before mortgage ends. He has no income protection because of pre-existing health condition. Child about to go off to Uni and we can’t afford to top up loans as are drowning in debt.

I’m trying not to think about the future other than desperately trying to get a job but can’t get anything. Can’t get past online applications for shop work. Admin jobs are looking for younger people.

I put on a brave face but can’t help but keep calculating how many years left of ‘decent’ life I’ve got left and then get depressed thinking that will fly by. Worried that it will come crashing down. Sad that I’m setting a bad example for our kids. Really sad I didn’t get my shit sorted earlier in life.

But am proud of my kids who are working hard at school and doing well. Like my little house. Love my dog. Appreciate that there are plenty of people worse off. Just got to focus on what I can achieve and not fixate on lost opportunities in the past.

[PrimulaPrimrose]

Needlessly anxious.
It's pissing me off. I presume it's hormonally based as I honestly have nothing concrete to worry about. Just have a knot in my throat.

[Gothichouse40]

Im late fifties. Worry alot. One of my adult children lost job due to Pandemic, now 6 months unemployed and cannot get work anywhere. My mental health and that of another family member isn't great, but cope most of the time. Apart from this Im fairly content but concerned for the future generations. I try to take each day as it comes. I have health issues so don't work but help out with my grandchild, they are a bright light in my life, especially during the awful times in the last year we have been through. Im fortunate to have a very good husband too and my family are kind. Ive got much to be thankful for, even though plans I had for the future are probably gone. The Pandemic has completely changed my life and not for the better. I do realise everyone here has their own problems in life too and mine are probably miniscule compared to other peoples.

[DareIask]

Struggling to come to terms with having lost both parents and my only sibling. Despite a lovely husband and adult children of my own I feel very alone and lost without them. I'm also a bit obsessed with illness and death because of this.

But I'm determined to lose some weight, find my style as I age, get fitter and I'm on it.. a month in and I feel better.

Financially very fortunate and have also retired from a job I came to hate.

Maybe slowly recovering from the very worst time of my life sums it up.

[LisbethSalamander]

Some of you are having a very hard time and don't need to qualify it by saying that others are having it harder!

Worry abt young adult DS a lot for various reasons, mostly employment and mental health in a pandemic. He has worked v hard and I am still not sure that it will pay off. Agree young DC are so much easier.

[peachescariad]

Mid 50s....in a dead marriage but not doing anything about it as don't want to lose my house which I love.
Feel very disappointed that life didn't pan out as I would of liked and now all those optimistic dreams won't happen.
Feel like a shell of my teen self...as if all life has been sucked out of me.
Have crunchy, painful knees which I think might be start of arthritis.
After 30 years of financially struggling, we now have some extra money due to kids working full time (still at home which I love, otherwise it would be just me and H), so that's been really nice to buy/replace stuff there and then without saving for it for months and months.
I have become incredibly cynical as I've got older and have also think there are more bad people in the world than good.
Have at least another 10 years of working then I plan to move back to Wales.....with or without H.

[1moreglassplease]

52 here and long term single, which I'm extremely happy about to be honest. Couldn't even entertain another relationship at my age.
Mortgage paid off and credit cards dwindling so am looking forward to retiring at 65-67 hopefully. Always paid into company pensions and building up savings so that retirement should be OK.

Lost my dad last year after a long illness and slightly worried that I'm becoming a 'crutch' for my mum but hopefully now things are opening up a bit she can get out and do a bit more. Sibling is utterly useless so I know that caring responsibilities will fall on me eventually, which is a worry.

Menopause wasn't too bad and periods are pretty much stopped so I'm hopefully nearly done with it all. Back in the gym now, although I was working out at home during lockdown and am OK healthwise, apart from dodgy knees. I do lots of gardening as well.

I've never really cared what people think about me and like so many others my age I really give zero fucks now .

[singsingbluesilver]

Still suffering from anxiety - some days it is overwhelming, but managing it much better since I took early retirement.

Weigh too much and it is impacting on my joints so I am starting to do something about it. I'm learning to put myself first so I am doing all of the hobbies I put on hold when I was working and when the children were at home. I love that I have all of this time for me now.

I find I give less of a damn about what people think of me - I have always been a people pleaser. I have noticed that as a middle aged woman I am practically invisible when out in public. I actually like this and I dress for comfort as no one seems to see me anyway. If it were not for the impact it is having on my health the extra weight wouldn't even bother me.

Kids are in pretty secure jobs so I don't worry about them too much. Relationship is plodding on just fine - no highs, but no lows either. I think of the Will Young song Leave Right Now - 'but if I miss the highs at least I'm spared the lows'. Kind of sums up my life really - no excitement but just comfort and (some) less anxiety.

[Horsemad]

Not too bad. Meno was ok for me, no massive health problems, although ageing parents are a concern.
Financially all good.
DH is sound and steady, and we've rubbed the sharp edges off each other now!! 🤣
I found it really hard adjusting to DC returning back home (one saving to buy his own place but showing no signs of doing so and now practically living at his gf's house, the other studying from home).

Apart from that, nothing to complain about, luckily.

I'm a bit 😟 that I don't live where I'd like to, in the house I want but that's just the way it is. If I can get our house straightened up from the clutter everyone but me insists we need to keep, I'll be happy. 👍

[Horsemad]

Oh and yes, like a PP, I just cannot tolerate bullshit these days! 😆 Just woke up one day and stopped putting up with it. Shocked a few people, I think! 😲

[HazeyJaneII]

Only 52, so not sure if that counts.
It has been a fucking shocker of a year (I know, I know)
My mum who we were very close to died suddenly 12 weeks into the lockdown last year.
I attended her funeral on my own, due to complicated circumstances and my dsis living abroad, and unable to travel..I miss her terribly and would love to see her.
Our 10 year old ds was shielding for most of the year, he has complex needs as the result of a rare genetic condition.
Because of the above I stopped working, to homeschool ds. He is back at school now, but we are desperate for him to be vaccinated.
Juggling ds and his teenage sisters, who were in and out of school depending on isolations, lockdowns etc.
Dh has worked flat out trying to keep everything going and make sure the people he works with are ok, kept their jobs, stated well...it has taken its toll on him.
I have had health issues relating to heavy periods all year, which hasnt really been dealt with or investigated. At the beginning of half term I collapsed and had an ambulance out. I was admitted, my blood pressure was very low, my haemoglobin levels through the floor. I was given blood transfusions, had menopause induced, and am on a waiting list for a hysterectomy.
On the way to hospital, my sister messaged to say that our dad had died (we hadn't seen him for years, but it has opened a whole can of emotional worms)
Oh and we are having to move house....which is all the usual heap of crapola.
It really has been a tsunami of shit hitting our fan.
I am clinging on to 'This Too Shall Pass...' but it is wearing rather thin, and I am very, very tired.

[Horsemad]

@HazeyJanell for you, you have had a tough year.