Thank you for reading, this is going to be a long post. My little girl is now 2 months old. I started losing my mucous plug and had water dripping out at 41 weeks around 5pm on the Friday. I phoned the birth centre and a lovely midwife told me to come in. I came in and she then said she examined me, told me my cervix was closed completely and to go home and call when things change. Well, I ended up getting my first contraction at home and from then on it was absolute agony. I was so shocked because the pain went from 0-100, around 3 in 10 minutes. I rang back and she told me to come back again. The car journey was awful.
She had to examine me again, this was absolutely awful as I was in so much pain but she was really calming and a total pro at examining so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been I suppose. So then here is where the problems started… she finished her night shift and had to go, but before she did, she examined me again and I was 1cm. I was then left with the most uncaring Midwife and students I have ever encountered.
I worked in a maternity ward for 7 years up until a couple of years ago, I still work in the NHS but in a clinic now. I am well aware of the good and bad, as well as what is usually offered to labouring women, I worked in a London Hospital, so it was busy busy busy. I also started training to become a Midwife myself but stopped for various reasons. I know how some Midwives can be as I witnessed it myself over the years, and I just hoped that I would be lucky and would get a nice team looking after me. Well that didn’t happen at all.
I was in a small birth centre room at this point screaming my head off in pain with every contraction and shaking uncontrollably. The Midwife gave me a shot of pethadine, which really seemed to help, although it didn’t take the pain away fully it stopped the shaking and made me really sleepy. They couldn’t examine me again for many hours which is fair enough to reduce the risk of infection but it would have been nice to know if I was any further along. Anyway they did examine me again eventually and was still 1cm, pain was obviously bad I was crying, was offered 2 x more pethadine that did nothing these 2 times but it did stop the shaking.
I was begging for an epidural but was told no repeatedly. The reason was because I wasn’t 4 cm yet, and in order to get an epidural it needs to be done in labour ward, but I am not allowed in labour ward until at least 4cm. I asked for gas and air, they said no repeatedly for the same reasons above. All they kept saying was to eat a sandwich, reapeatedly, I have never wanted to scream so badly in my life because they weren’t listening to me. I was telling them I can’t eat or drink… well I was trying to drink but eating was out of the question. I explained that I would throw up everywhere but they wouldn’t stop going on, they even got my Husband involved trying to convince me. I was crying telling them I don’t need a sandwich I need pain relief over and over again but they still wouldn’t accept me not eating until they brought me some toast which I physically couldn’t eat. They were actually laughing at me, saying what do you want me to do? WHAT I WANT IS PAIN RELIEF!
I was screaming in pain when the cherry on the cake arrived… they were going to move me to the shared antenatal ward. They did move me, still no gas and air allowed, I was screaming so loud with every contraction every few minutes. The other patients and partners were laughing and sniggering, also tutting. I am sure the other women were terrified that they had this level of pain to come too so they were probably laughing to distract themselves. I begged for pain relief and to be moved. They refused, still no gas and air allowed.
I know that on my ward women were given entonox on the antenatal ward, and it was no issue at all. They were also hurried through to labour ward for a private room if they were screaming the ward down and scaring other women. This went on for the whole night until around 8am when the first lovely Midwife came back on shift and came to see what all the screaming was about. She was asking the staff member why I was left in this state with no Entonox and not getting me over to labour ward? The staff member was arguing with her, she said I am the Midwife in charge go and get some entonox. Not even 2 minutes later I had Entonox… when they had lied to me earlier saying they don’t keep it on the antenatal ward it’s only on the labour ward they aren’t allowed to use it here. While having Entonox she examined me again and I was 4 cm. Finally!!! Moved to Labour ward. She was an actual angel… I feel like she saved me.
I took the gas with me not letting it out of my mouth and I was in heaven, the pain was like waves of a feeling but no pain at all. Why had they denied me this for so long? Anyway, straight to Labour ward where a lovely anaesthetist gave me an epidural. It was amazing! I had to press a button every 30 mins but before I was allowed I had to ask the Midwife to take my blood pressure before topping up. They broke my waters and they were full of meconium, I then started getting a really high temperature.
This is when the problems started again… her and her student went on their break at the same time and by the time they got back the epidural had stopped working. They didn’t believe me… and kept telling me to press the button which I was but it wasn’t doing anything, turns out it was empty. I was finally allowed a top up and the anaesthetist arrived to fit another supply. She must have accidentally done something wrong as from then on it was all agony and screaming again, the Midwife and student didn’t believe me until finally the anaesthetist came back again and tried to figure out why it had stopped working.
At this point the shaking started uncontrollably again. I asked for gas & air while we waited for her to return as she was busy and had to leave. I was in my element with the gas and air and they kept trying to take it off me as I was using it too much. It got to around 2pm and doctors came in to review me as I was now 7cm but had been 7cm for far too long with no progression. They decided to do an emergency c section. My epidural was topped up in theatre and actually worked this time.
I was shaking so hard they had to strap me down. My little girl was born and had an infection, had breathed in her meconium so was struggling to breathe and was taken to NICU. She had breathing tube, feeding tube and cannulas. The treatment postnatally was an absolute shit show and my baby wasn’t with me I had just got to give her a kiss on the operating table when she was whisked away. They put me in a postnatal ward with everyone else’s babies. I asked them if they thought this was appropriate considering my baby was in NICU and I was still numb… couldn’t meet her properly yet. The Midwife responded by saying what is the problem with being around other babies??? We can’t give you a private room! I persisted that it was not nice and they moved us to a private room.
We were both on antibiotics and eventually she came down to join me in a shared NICU/Postnatal ward. We were then both moved back to the postnatal ward which was hell. Purely because of the noise, other families are so so inconsiderate and loud. We had people moving furniture around and throwing suitcases around at 2am. The woman next to me had a drug problem and social services were taking her baby away. We got to hear her whole life story from the other side of the curtain. It was awful… she was kicking off constantly and then crying constantly, part of me felt sorry for her. It was a lot to deal with, we all complained but they wouldn’t give her a private room so we all had to listen to her on the phone constantly to social workers about her court case the next day and her baby being removed.
We were finally discharged after a total of 5 days. I don’t know if I can go through this again but eventually I want to give my daughter a sibling. I am terrified of being left in pain again until 4cm, what if the same happens again? Personally I think as soon as they broke my waters and saw the meconium and my high temp and high blood pressure, they should have took me for a c section straight away. I sit here and think sometimes how long was my little girl struggling for in there… thank god they got her out when they did. Why did they hang around though? It was hours and hours since they broke my waters.
I am obviously going to ask for a planned c section next time, if there is a next time. I have lost all trust in that hospital and all medical staff. I feel like a couple of them enjoyed watching me suffer. All I needed was the gas & air and I was coping really well but they denied me this for 13 hours, only when that angel Midwife came on shift and got me some was I able to cope. Has anyone ever experienced similar and what did you do for your next babies?