PDR is personal (or sometimes performance) development review, it should in theory be one distinct stage in the 3 stage process of annual performance management:
1 Appraisal of how the last year has gone, what's gone well, what's gone badly, what could you improve on, have you met your objectives, have you met the organisation's standards/expectations etc etc
2 Objective setting for next year, what are your aims, what do you need to do, can you be given extra challenges or stretching projects etc
3 Personal development planning, what training or support do you need to be meet your objectives and your longer term career goals.
Personally I prefer to do at least the first part separately, 2 and 3 do relate to one another so can be combined, but a lot of organisations will lump the whole thing into one big process/form/meeting. If you can I would try and set aside some time to prepare, these things are always most useful if both you and your manager have thought through your own answers to the above questions in advance and then it's more about comparing/agreeing an overall answer but as your manager is potentially a bit difficult all the more important for you to have clearly in mind what you want to get out of it. Yes you should absolutely have input into your targets, of course sometimes there are team objectives where everyone has the same or things which come down from above that have to be complied with but you should def get input into the 'how'/'when' of the objectives if not the 'what' as well. Personally I have never, ever been given a nicely written set of SMART objectives by my manager in a PDR, I've had all sorts from a vague 'what do you think we should put in this box, I don't really care' to vast sweeping ill-defined strategic objectives like 'reform the X department' to weirdly small process oriented things that could be achieved in about an hour's work - I think it's unfortunately just a fact of life that no-one knows or cares as much about your job as you so you will probably have to make the running on things like negotiating timescales, narrowing down overly broad objectives into specific achievable chunks etc. Doing the work in advance to think through what you think those should be will help you feel less passive and put-upon though. You can also always ask to take some time to think about it and come back to her later as well, don't feel obliged to sign up to something new there and then in the meeting.
Re the 'personality dissection', this is probably her clumsy way of trying to help rather than being malicious (or maybe she's a horrible bitch, who knows, I tend to try and look on these things in a positive light for my own sanity). Giving good feedback is a real skill and one not too many people possess IMO so appraisal where emotionally unintelligent and under-skilled managers are forced to give feedback to moany defensive employees always has the potential to be a bit fraught. My technique for when receiving negative feedback is to try my hardest to listen and understand what they're saying without snapping into anger or upset or arguing back (this can feel a bit passive but you can practice 'active listening' by questioning, summarising, probing etc so you aren't just letting the person rant at you). Then I mentally try and put what I've heard to the back of my mind for a bit, like I say don't react too much either way in the moment - then when the dust has settled and I feel calm and able to look at it again without getting upset, I think about what they said and whether it has any value to me or is there anything I can usefully take from it - if so then even if the conversation was a bit horrible at the time at least I got a nugget of something useful from it - if not then I just discount it as wrong/misinformed/coming from a bad place and try not to think about it any more unless I really do think it would benefit me to go back and correct the person or argue with them (and 99% of the time it doesn't). So yes a bit passive rather than confrontational as an approach but it works for me...