do you balance work and family life well?

[tostaky]

Have you find the right balance between work and your family life?

If so, what do you do? or did you do it?

I have two DSs (2y and 3 months) and I do want to go back to work but i really dont know what job to do.. my old job has a culture of long hours = weekend wok +1hr commuting each way

My job used to be like yours (management consultancy) when I went back I basically got really selfish and said that I would not be working at home in the evenings/weekends, I would not be travelling more than 1hr from home each day etc...

They grumped initially but acutally it's worked out just fine. And as long as you stick to your rules too then they won't/don't push the boundries.

The other thing that helps is that DH and I share pick-up/drop-off duties, one each per day except in unusual circumstances, and we alternate who is doing bath/bed routine too - the one not doing bath/bed does the washing up, laundry, plant watering etc...

You do have to be organised. Also don't pack too much into your weekens - I have a habit of over committing us where as actaully what we really want/need is just to chill out together as a familiy.

I'm not saying it's perfect but it's been better than expected so far!

Hi
Im in the same situation as Knitter. Long full time hours usually 60+ per week and a long commute of 60miles a day.

I really do think a big thing is the making sure you have time at the weekends that isnt about chores. I get really edgy if we have stuff planned with other people on both weekend days.

Its not easy and to start with its an uphill struggle but once it a routine it's livable.

good luck

I also second being selfish about hours. I agree flexi hours and I stick to them religiously (I arrive around 7am and leave at 4, work in the evenings) I never leave later than 4, even if DH is doing pickup.

Everyone gets it now.... but its still feels like the 4pm walk of shame!

Just about. After DC2 have gone back full time. But I work from home 4 days a week so can keep on top of laundry etc easily. Planning to go back part time once DC1 goes to school next Sept, as really liked a 4 day week and having a week day off with the children. I work in the public sector, for a government dept, good family friendly employers. But the main factor is my boss who has 3 under 3 himself and has been really supportive to help me find a work pattern that suits us all. Have found if they value you, they'll make the effort.

And as Knitter - DH and I share household duties. He does nursery drop off/pick up, and does bed/bath routine and other useful things. We gave up on housework though and got a cleaner to hoover and do kitchens and bathrooms. With the extra money from working, it makes life alot easier to buy in some help where you need it.

I think wherever you work people who stay long hours will always privately tut at those who leave "early".
Over 10 years I have learned not to worry about what people think. I know I get my stuff done, even if it's at weird times of day at home.
If it's a culture of long hours then you can challenge that - it's a pain, but eventually they will get the message.
I have found over 10 years that commuting in 3 days a week and working at home for two has worked pretty well. (Commute is about 90 mins each way)
I also have used a childminder for the last 10 years as she has more flexibility than a nursery if the trains are delayed for example, or for changing days etc, although I have paid her more than her normal rates for that flexibility. She and the other children she looks after are DSs second family really.

I worked part time while my children were pre-school age, and full time once they were all in school.

Works fine for me, I am happy with the balance overall. There are some ridiculously busy times when I feel rushed off my feet, but I think you need to look at these things globally - there are other times the pressure eases off.

the thing is even if i live at 4.30 to pick up at 5.30 (DH does the drop-off), i dont feel like i spend quality time with my DSs...
got to feed them/bath them and tell a story and then it is off to bed...
DH usually gets home around 8pm so he rarely has the time to help with the feeding/bathing...

but the pay is good... i think i might "buy" an extra week of hols every year then...

thanks

Tostaky

I do exactly that- DH drops off and I collect. I leave the office at 4ish and collect at 5 to 5.30 depending on traffic. Then I get 1 hour or so with DD (usually grumpy by that time). I regularly, once a month take a monday/ tuesday off and spend it with DD. Its lovely- I go and have coffee wiht my mum friends and pretend to be a SAHM. Its keeps me sane!

I work from home doing Usborne- I'm doing it "big part time" ie 16 or so hours a week, so I'm progressing quickly- I should be team leader at the end of this month, and I joined on the 15th of May. I'm expecting around £500 income in August, and it should increase from there on in.

Obviously you get out what you put in- a lot of people just pass catalogues round at work and do the odd home party and of course they don't get as much money as those who do more.

Anyway, my point being, it is very flexible as I choose when to take bookings and I do my admin when the kids are asleep or whatever. I take the children to bookings with me and I chat to recruits on the phone or by email. I've set myself the goal of having a dependable income of £1,000 a month by the end of the year I'm going to home educate, so I need a really family friendly job.

There are a few companies around, try and find a product you love. If you love books, then click here. Beauty- try Virgin Vie or Avon. Cooking- Pampered Chef or Jamie at Home.

Another one doing the 4pm walk of shame here. Get the 'thanks for coming in' comments too.

Fortunately I can work 2 out of 3 days at home so that helps enormously both with the commute time/costs and with the pickups. It also means I am more flexible with things like weekend emails/calls due to global time zones.

I also negotiated good part time hours - 2 days one week, 3 the next. I think if you talk to HR they are usually very understanding.

Even part time it is very knackering as you don't quite adjust to either role and switching is stressful. I end up using SAHM terminology in the office and vice versa because I'm too tired to think of the right language. Maybe that's just me though.

I do feel like I'm seeing exactly the right amount of the children though.