feeling really guilty about going back to work and leaving my baby!

[ollysmum1]

Hi, im due back to work in september my baby will be 7 month old and im feeling really unsure about leaving him, it will be 2 and a half days a week but i just think no one can look after him like me so surely it is my job to be at home with him and not at work, i just feel really guilty as if im letting him down by leaving him, anyone felt the same or have any advice? thank you.

Your going to have to leave him sometime. Children used to be raised in caves. I'm sure your family / nursery will be able to do a good enough job.

It is hard to go back but on the plus side 2.5 days a week is fantastic, very few people who work p/t get to work those hours so the time you will be with your DS massively outweighs the time at work.

Also babies grow up a lot at this age. At the minute he will be what, 4-5 months and whilst 7 months is still very young, he will be that bit older when the day comes.

At the end of the day only you know what will work for your family. My personal thought is that you are better to go back to work and see how that feels for you than not to try at all. If it's not right you can leave, but if you don't try it you won't know.

Make sure you are really happy with your child care, we have a fantastic CM and I often felt she was better at looking after DS than we were.

Hope it goes well whatever you decide.

I went back to work when DD was about same age - I missed her dreadfully, but it was the right choice for us. I enjoyed being back at work and DD has had a good experience at nursery - she enjoys going, has lots more confidence and has learn lots.

yes, i felt the same in a way. i had a place at university, i would have started when ds1 was 7 months old
when it came to it i felt just like you, so i didn't go

now, obviously i was lucky enough that dp could support me in being a SAHM, and I realise that not everyone has that choice. But if that's an option for you then why not talk it over with your other half?

I returned to work 3 days pw when DS was 8 months old, he is now about to go to uni and can remember his nursery nurse and the music she used to play when she settled him down for his afternoon nap and his friends from nursery.

Remember you are still the most important person to him (with your partner if you have one), he will be spending the vast majority of his time with you and if you give up this opportunity to return 2.5 days you may end up working longer hours in a worse job long term (going back p-t then means I'm still working part time around DS now).

Just make sure you get the absolute best child care you can.

If I could tell you one thing it would be to be kind to yourself and don't ruin the time you have with your son feeling guilty about the short time you will spend away from him working to ensure he has a good future.

Good luck.

thank you all for your advide, i think i will go back to work, if i dont like leaving him i can always quit but at least i will of tried it. x

Do you HAVE to work out of the house? I'm just thinking that, if you really want to stay at home, you could maybe work from home?

What you are feeling is really normal and part of being a mother. I felt like the final 6mths of my maternity leave were tainted by thoughts of going back to work.

TBH, going back only 2.5days is quite a good solution and a great balance for you. I would give all my limbs for 2.5days (im full time)

Good luck and try not to worry til september

Ps- meant to say that whilst leaving DD was bad and I felt guilty etc. It was also quite pleasant to be back in the office having time for myself, although its very busy.

Give it a good 4 months before making a decision to quit..... You will want to quit every day for the first few weeks... hang in there...

ps- didnt mean first post to sound patronising but everyone I know who went back to work felt like this and then most have got on with it and love the balance, especially thoise doing partime hours.