Should I stay or should I go?

[Palomino29]

I'm 51 working part-time 2 days per week in admin/finance job for past 2 years; job is secure well-paid and not overly taxing -BUT I am unhappy and thinking of leaving to be at home for a while - husband has very demnding job and is away a lot; son at home 16 still at school and quite dependent.
Problems at work - I work alongside a very difficult colleague, an older single, unhappy person who is not easy to get on with, very moody, abrupt with clients nd colleagues alike. I've put up with her but feel the stress has got to me over time and as a result I've had quite a few niggly health issues.
Second, we work in a very old shabby building, it's dirty with kitchen and toilet facilities that put you in mind of "student digs" - I hate it and have lately dug my heels in, refusing to clean others' dirty pots away and only using the "unisex" loos when desperate (I go while I'm out at lunch)
Despite complaining over the months nothing is done.
Third, as I said I'm 51 and am finding increasingly it's a "young person's game". I am sidelined a bit by not being able to help at evening/weekend events which are part of the culture. I don't feel my skills/intelligence/experience are valued.
YET - the people I work with are all great, we're a good team (mainly male so they don't care about the toilets etc) all working for a common cause.
I am now seriously thinking of resigning. Should I just do so, or do you think it's worth meeting my boss to discuss the issues?
I'm the only person in the office who can do my job - of course I'm not indispensable, but think they's struggle to replace me.
Problem is, I don't see how they can make changes - the awkward colleague, no money to renovate premises, and maybe I'm just the "difficult middle aged woman" I remember deriding when I was younger?
Any thoughts please, to help me decide what to do? Thanks in advance

You sound like a nice person, not a "difficult middle aged woman"

If you would like to stay, then talking to your boss could be worthwhile, as there's nothing to lose if the alternative is to resign.

If you left this job would you look for something else in the same field but with better working conditions? Or would you still prefer to spend more time at home?

Which is the more important choice to you at this time?

1. work or be at home more or 2) this job or a different job?

I would try and work out how much this is to do with you wanting to be at home (i.e. to support your son and be there whilst husband is away) and how much to do with things you are not happy with at work. In other words, if everything was as good as it could be at work, would there still be a part of you wanting to be at home anyway?

If this is mostly do with the work issues you have described, it is probably worth speaking to a senior person at work before resigning. I wouldn't assume the issues are insurmountable - they might come up with suggestions/information you hadn't considered (who knows - maybe the awkward colleague is thinking of taking early retirement; maybe there is a plan to revamp the toilets etc). Speaking of the toilets and kitchen facilities - it is a requirement of the Health & Safety at Work Act that adequate and clean facilities are provided. More info here:

www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg293.pdf

If the kitchen and toilets wouldn't pass a health and safety inspection, your employer could be obliged to make improvements.

Lidofairo and Fascicle
Thanks so much both of you for your kind input; it's very helpful.
Had a long chat with husband tonight - as an employer himself he's very wise and pragmatic.
Realised above all, I've had enough!
Even if employer made changes, I think I've done my time and need to move on.
Feeling better already having made the decision, and looking forward to new challenges.
Thank you again & best wishes

Sound like you've made up your mind, but just another perspective: is there any in-between course, such as you working from home and coming in just for meetings?

Thanks for your input NT; kind of you.
It's certainly an idea as another colleague has in the past used a VPN connection to the office system to enable her to work from home. I don't wish to blow my own trumpet but I think my bosses will definitely want to know why I am leaving. I do a good job while I'm there and think I am well liked. However I wrote a letter to my boss and showed it my husband - it set out my "issues" in a pleasant non-threatening way but my husband, as a boss himself said in those circs. he would have to let me go as there was just too much to have to put right (3 main issues)and it was clear that I was very unhappy.
He did also say he wouldn't be surprised if my boss tried to "buy me back" on a sort of freelance basis.
We'll see...but being totally honest, I think have had enough.

Fair enough. When you're done, you're done.

Hi Palomino29. How strange - I am 51 and also work two days a week - but I work from home and feel I would be mad to give it up. I do have to travel a bit but I simply could not imagine setting off to find something new as I would struggle to find a job that gave me the work life balance that I currently enjoy. I would definitely talk to your boss and ask about the possibility of working from home. Good luck and let us know how you get on.