How long to wait before trying for DC 2?

[nesomja]

I have one DS, aged 23 months. I have just started a new job (today!) which is in many ways my dream job, I have been aiming at it for the last 5 years and I am really excited about it. It's 3 days a week as well which is perfect. I worked before for the same organisation so am eligible for ML immediately. We want another child and had thought about trying once DS is two. However, I just don't know if I can face the thought of being pregnant whilst still getting used to a very demanding job - last pregnancy was terrible, exhausted and sick for the whole 9 months, ending in traumatic emergency c section. Plus, I really don't want to start this job off by pissing them off! However, I also don't want to have a huge gap between children as I really want my DS to have a sibling he can play with. I don't know how long I should wait, or whether I should just get on with it -after all, fertility is waning etc etc...
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do?

I should just add that after having read some of the other posts on this forum I am wondering if I will even be able to afford to go back to work once we have two children - which is another problem as I have spent 7 years training to do my job and I love it...maybe we should just stick at one

What age are you ?

33 - had DS at 31.

Just wondered because it is relevant. At 33 you are probably ok to wait for a couple of years without it being an issue.

I would say if you have such mixed feelings about it at the minute then don't start trying right away. It's not like some magic switch goes off when DS is 2 and you are forced to go for it.

Yes it's nice for DCs to be close in age, but a few of DS's friends now have newborn siblings, they are aged 4-5 and they seem to be coping well with it, at that age they have the maturity to handle a new arrival somewhat better than a younger child, so its swings and roundabouts really.

Maybe give yourself a bit of a break, set a new deadline, say the end of the year to make a decision.

I know, sometimes I think maybe I'm too career focused and should just stick at one, but then I think about all that my son will miss out on and also that I'd like to have two - but think I want to have it all and am terrified that once I have two I won't be able to carry on working in the way I want to.

I have had my DC's fairly close, in fact if you ttc when your DC turned 2 and fell pregnant immediately you would have the exact same gap that I have! I have found it perfect. My DC's are now 4 and 6 (soon to be 7) and they play so well together. They have a real close bond and it is lovely to see.

I have 2 siblings with a 5 and 8 year gap between us respectively. I am not at all close to my siblings and I think it is partly due to the age gap. I know DD's friends who have biggish age gaps around 4/5 years and it is like the older child is still an only child as he/she cannot really play with the younger sibling because they are at such different stages (and will always be).

I don't see how you would annoy your employer by getting pregnant soon after starting your new job. You are entitled to maternity leave. You are not asking them for a favour. I would say go for no. 2, it is just so heartwarming to see my DC's playing together and they never feel lonely or bored at home because they have each other. DD's friends with big age gap siblings are always saying they are bored after school despite having a sibling because that sibling is just too young for them to play together.