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Nannyshare - any advice on what to be aware of?

5 replies

princesskitten · 11/07/2003 12:44

I am going back to work 3 days a week when ds is 6 mts old and have the opportunity to share my friends sisters nanny. We haven't started discussions yet as to how it would work so would be interested to hear what advice people have on what we should agree on up front. Aware that these arrangements can be fraught with problems. The background is that her daughter is going to school at Christmas but she wants to keep her live in Nanny on full time and her nanny has said she will be bored. I would drop ds off at her house 3 days a week from about 8.30 - 6.30. Also not sure how the finances of this would work - no idea how much of her daily rate I should pay?

OP posts:

Issymum · 11/07/2003 13:49

We had a nannyshare for several months until we moved house and it generally worked quite well, although with 3 children involved, lots of after-school activities and no car, I think it was very tough-going on our nanny. Like your nannyshare our daughter was under two and we were sharing with (in our case) a family with two school age children.

Some things to think about:
What will happen if one of the children is ill? What if it's an infectious illness (particularly stomach upsets)?
How will you arrange holidays? Generally nannies are given 4 weeks holiday, two weeks for the nanny to choose, two weeks for the family. Will you and the other family arrange holidays for the same weeks (in school holidays), or will you arrange holidays a different times?
How will the other children's routine fit in with your child's sleep and eating patterns?
Who will pay the nanny's tax and national insurance (Nanny's salaries are always negotiated on a post-tax and insurance basis)?
How much do you care about food - are you a feed them fishfingers and beans mother or an only organic buckwheat noodles type. It doesn't really matter as long as you all agree!
If you have an issue with the nanny will you channel that through the other family or take it up directly with her?

Nanny-shares are complex and tend not to last for more than a year or so as circumstances change - change of nanny, another child, moving house etc.. But when they work well they are win-win and it is worth the hassle. Our daughter adored the other children in the nanny share and they really helped her develop and socialise. She still talks about them!


tamum · 11/07/2003 13:57

I don't have any experience to offer, but it sounds to me as though you'd lose out on a lot of the obvious benefits of having a nanny i.e. they come to your house, child stays in his own home with his own toys and so on. Just in really basic practical terms, do they have a cot for your ds to use? Are they happy to have nappy changing and milk regurgitation going on? I don't want to sound to negative, and presumably it's like this because the friend's dd has to be taken to and and collected from school, but it sounds to me as though there are a lot of potential flash-points here. You probably need to talk to your friend's sister in a lot of detail here. Good luck!


Frieda · 12/07/2003 21:15

We did a nannyshare that sounded quite similar to your set up a while ago, and although it worked quite well and suited us both to a large extent, it wasn't without its downsides. I put the word nannyshare in **s, because in reality it was more a case of us using the other family's live-in nanny as an unregistered childminder, since the care was always at their house and we had little say in the arrangement.
My ds was 14 months when we started, and the other family had two older girls ? one primary and one nursery-school-age. What I hadn't reckoned on was the fact that both girls went to different schools and the younger one only did half days, so DS spent an awful lot of time in the car on school runs and going along to after-school activities, which wasn't ideal, and often involved DS being whisked out of his cot from his morning nap to be ferried off somewhere (it was even worse in the school hols as both girls seemed to have wall-to-wall extra-curricular activities). On the plus side, DS adored the older girls, and they seemed very fond of him, and he really enjoyed all the attention he got and his language came on amazingly. He also got some real one-to-one with the nanny when the girls were at school, which is so important when they're small.
Cost-wise, we paid £35 a day, similar (or slightly less than) we'd have had to pay for a split-cost live-out nannyshare. I think the nanny got about half that, in the form of an increase for looking after an extra child, and the other mother kept the rest. That was a couple of years ago, mind, and in London ? it may vary depending on what the going rate is where you live.
Holidays were also a bit of a problem, as the other family (obviously) took all their leave during school holidays when going away costs a fortune. Thankfully, I get quite a lot of leave with my job and we have grandparents who can muck in if needs be ? we didn't get any say in when the nanny took her (paid) holiday.
I would have thought with only one other child in the equation, it would be quite a good arrangement for you, although a lot depends on how you get on with the nanny, the other mother, and how your approaches generally coincide. Hope that helps a bit ? childcare is such a nightmare! I'd probably say, if you like the nanny, go for it!


GemmaB · 17/07/2003 11:20

I have had a lot of experience with nannyshare - all at my house so I can only speak from that point of view. The nanny I had for nearly 3 years was in charge and thus the other child/children were dropped off at my house and she was paid directly by the parents. I think the other parents liked having their homes to themselves as they either worked from home or well full time Mums. Sometimes I would have liked to have a contribution for cleaning as my home did take the brunt of having up to 9 children in my home over a period of 3 days per week! I now pay nannyshare rates to my nanny who has her own 3 year old child with my two children (aged 4 and 1). The average for nannyshare in SW18 is about £45 - £55 per day, depending on where the child is being looked after, food, hours, nanny's experience.


Ness73 · 17/07/2003 12:16

9 children, GemmaB?? You mean different ones on different days?!

I can see how your house would look like a bomb had hit it with all those kids - might've been nice for other parents to offer some kind of contribution to cleaning.

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