Did having a baby affect your career?

[Onion2010]

Hi, I'm currently undertaking a dissertation for a Masters qualification in Personnel and Development. It will be looking at the treatment women have received from their employers whilst pregnant, and during and after maternty leave. It will also try to identify whether having children affects career progression. I'd be grateful to anyone willing to share their experiences, whether good or bad. Could you also indicate what sector your employer operates in (public / private sector, charity, etc). No company names necessary. Thanks in advance.

I worked for a voluntary organisation. Most of the boosses were 60+ so were from a generation who didnt approve of working Mums. They made this clear to me so it wasnt exactly a surprise when they made me redundant when I was on maternity leave. They probably though they were doing me a favour!

Before that the only way having a child affected my career was that I could only apply for 9-5 jobs, to fit in with nursery hours.

Best of luck Kathyjelly.
Let us know how it all goes - we will be rooting for you.

Thanks all. The solicitor thinks they'll hold out until the evening before the hearing and then settle. I'll just be glad when it's over.

I think working part time is very likely to affect your career. I found, as a working mum, my own time became more precious and let's face it there is a big career disadvantage from simply not being available to the organisation at all times, on demand. It is important to continue to make training and development investments - even though a one day training course can be worth a bigger multiple of your time. Finding part time work is also trickier - networking can help but IME lower mobility is fairly likely.

Kathyjelly I am at what has happened to you, I really hope you get through it OK. one of my best friends is a barrister who does employment tribunals and some of the stuff employers try to get away with, even nowadays, would make your hair stand on end.

I think the amount of impact on your career depends what choices your make. I took a years maternity, came back to me old job but pt 3 days a week job-sharing with another woman. I very quickly got bored. Another job came up internally and I went for it. I asked if it could be done 4 days a week and was told 'no' but I really wanted it, it was a promotion, and so I applied anyway and got it. It has been hard work doing this job as my commute is long but my boss is fine with me working 8-4 or 10-6 so I have some flexibility. My Dh also has some flexibility so we manage. I am very glad that I have taken a step up in my career as hopefully I'm now in a better position than I was before I had my DD and I know so often women fall backwards in their careers for many of the reasons people have suggested on here.

I'll be going off in Dec on maternity a second time and the issue this time round will be that my ft salary would literally only just cover 2 sets of nursery fees and my travelcard. So I may have to think about returning pt if possible for a while at least, until my older child is at school. I am not very good at the SAHM thing and I know I need to keep my hand in or I go a bit loopy.

I really value having a job, so I don't think I would step out of the workplace entirely. I am very aware that if you don't go back at all at the end of your maternity then you effectively forfeit your job, and your current employer is the only employer who has a legal obligation to give you a job and consider pt and / or flexible working.

Thanks so much to everyone that has commented on this issue so far - it's really interesting to hear the range of experiences that women have had. On the plus side, some employers are getting in right, which is great to hear. On the down side, it seems that many employers have a way to go yet before they are even close to treating pregnant women fairly.

You have all made some interesting comments and I would really love to follow these up with each of you to find out more. Some of you have expressed that you would like to continue discussions away from the public forum, which I would be more than happy to do. Please note that I do not need to know company names or specific details, so confidentiality will be maintained.

I will try to email you via the site. Please can I ask that, if you are happy to continue these discussions, or to complete a quick questionnaire for me (which will take about 10 mins max)can you revise your email options on the site to allow me to email you. Alternatively, can you send a CAM message to me?

Thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon. Your input is very much appreciated.

the answer to that is yes in my case OP. I was unable to work the same days each week (public sector job) and DH works shifts so I threw the towel in, couldn't be bothered with all the stress of trying to work it all out each week, plus try and arrange childcare. I like to think of it as a 'career break' just now until DC are in full-time education.

Echo a lot of what has been said here. I work for a large corporate that promotes flexibility, work/life balance, diversity, working from home etc...however the fact is that I am pretty resigned to have flushed my career down the toilet. I work 30 hours a week and work 2 days at home, though I do stay over sometimes. Because of my hours and no childcare in the evening it means I can't go to any social events/meetings in the evening, I skip my lunch break and work through so don't go to the pub at lunch time like the others. As a result I don't really feel a part of the team or department and am seen as a part timer who will never be that committed anymore. It is my own making and the only way I could revive my career is to go back to working full time and rejoin the pub scene, but for me that's not the way to go.

Yep. Totally fucked up my career, although I have since retrained and rebuilt a decent career in an area I actually find more rewarding.

I worked in broadcasting, was quite senior. It wasn't a female or family friendly environment and on my return from maternity leave I was gradually and subtley freezed out. There are no women with children in senior positions in my old department. Tells you something.

I could have fucked them over for constructive dismissal but didn't have the energy and was worried it could adversely affect my employability.

Alls well that ends well, but it has taken me five years to rebuild a career that I can be proud of and it has made me very cynical.

On the face of it, my career has gone well. But I have been head hunted for BETTER jobs that I have turned down because of the commute, or the necessity for travel. I DON'T want the commute or the travel, purely because of dd.

I'm nervous of leaving my current job because I have an element of control over my working hours. It's a bugger - I WANT to be promoted (like DH has been) - but I want the hours and flexibility to be with dd.

For those who have been reading this from the start, and wanted an update, my ex-employer's solicitor has finally contacted mine to negotiate a settlement! We have 9 days to go until tribunal. No agreement yet but at least they're talking after a year of silence.

Great news Kathy, hope you get a decent settlement. I just found this thread, currently off sick having battled through a nasty infection in order to make meetings etc and am seriously wondering whether I want to carry on juggling. I have a brilliant job with fantastic opportunities, I just can't/don't want to put in the hours and carry on letting home life take a back seat.

yes, I had a miscarriage and got made redundant 8 weeks later. Went on the have DS2 while living off redundancy.

Have NO doubt in my mind that I was unfairly selected due to the risk I would get pregnant again and need maternity leave.

Mind you boss now rues the day (apparently) that he got rid of me Just makes me feel even more 'fuck you' about it!

I'm interested in this as although I've only just gone on mat leave, I will want slightly fewer hours if possible on my return and will need to leave on time to pick the baby up from nursery. I work in magazines and on deadline days you often have to stay until it's done - I really don't know how that's going to work. I can't not pick a baby up just because a few more pages have to go to press! The other people with young kids there seem to be in less deadline-intensive roles, whereas I end up helping several mags get to press each month. It'll be interesting, methinks...

I work in the private sector. but my experience is pretty similar to Cat64. I work part time about 25 hrs/week in a professional job. My employer is very fair and generous but juggling everything both at work and at home is mind bending, tbh I think somebody should run a specific course on how to survive being a working mum.

Also I'm not prepared to take on overseas postings or even work away from base during the week, which there is pressure on to do in these times. And I do not imagine I would ever get a part time job in a new company in my (male dominated) industry so I'm stuck for the next 10 years now.

Hamster, do you have a partner/friend/babysitter who could cover your deadline days if its just a few times per month... My employer was the same about Friday deadlines which we sometimes have: I ended up promising that if we had a deadline I would work overtime if necessary as long as I knew about it in advance to plan childcare. And I have done it on occasion thanks to longsuffering DH.

Kathyjelly good luck.

I went back three days a week, following a bit of a battle with HR and forced to sign a contract stating that I would be contracted to work three days a week but should be available to work on other days "as the business requires". I expected overtime payments for those.

I was stripped of my management responsibilities but otherwise do the same job for 60% of the salary. Same targets, number of projects etc. as the full-timers. I manage it by doing extra hours evenings and weekends, for free. I am often found at the back of playgroups on my crackberry, and an external client once commented in surprise that he didn't know I worked PT (we had been working together closely for a year). I am frequently expected to attend meetings early in the morning or in the evening, which DH covers me for. (Thus using up much of his annual leave). I was then skipped over for promotion, and am now managed by a man who has five years less experience than me in the same field.

I work in a charity which is headed up by a woman who used to work in equalities. (She has a FT live-in nanny.) I am almost the only PT employee in the organisation, and now I know why...

I have been headhunted for better jobs on £muchok more but they involve extensive travel, so I'm farked.

Fortunatehamster, if you do not use a ft nanny or gps (with no life) as childcare, your dp does not have a flexible job and you have to do the drop-offs/pick-ups at nursery/CM, you probably won't cope very well in your current job. Unless those deadlines can be managed from home through remote working.

If you have to be present at work, you probably have to be realistic and consider moving to a job that is less deadline driven.

Some families have their partner do one end of the nursery/CM run and you do the other end, so at least you have give to go in early or stay late at one end of the day. Otherwise working between 2 rigid time posts so no joke.

Forgot to mention all the comments in the office: "This is domesticslattern, she only works part-time". "Domesticslattern can't do Tuesdays " "Did you enjoy your day off?" (when I come back into the office) "Can you skype in on regularly so you aren't out of touch?" "Oh, we sent that report out without asking you, it's so difficult as you are part-time so never in when we need you" (report had been in his in-tray for ten days unread etc.)

And the best is when DD is ill and can't go to nursery. I asked DH if he could take the day off work, and he looked around wildly and said in surprise, "Of course not, my work will think I am taking the piss!". It just seems completely expected that the woman will drop everything for her kids. I do all the pick-ups, all the drop-offs, all the parents evenings etc.

As you can tell I am not in love with my job at the moment.

It's bollocks for men too. Recently DH missed bathtime and bedtime because he had to attend a work meeting on diversity training and family-friendly policies (this involved men juggling balls to show how - get this- people with families are constantly juggling geddit?!?!?!). DH also went PT, and it took masses of arguing to persuade them to let him be paid 80% of his salary to do exactly the same job.

Thanks for the advice. It might well be okay. There are two other women who've gone back after mat leave and they both got the reduced hours that they asked for. One is in a similar job to me (she is actually more senior) and only restarted a couple of weeks ago - if she manages, hopefully I'll be able to as well .

I only mentioned I was interested in the discussion - don't think it's quite time to consider quitting my job just yet (though obv. I would if it couldn't work out)!

Kathyjelly, good luck with negotiating the settlement. This is so typical of rogue employers - keep you hanging on for years then settle a couple of days before the ET. There is no acknowledgement anywhere in the process of the stress that this can cause the ex-employee. But at least the end is in sight and you now know that you don't have to go through the ET hearing.

Domesticslattern - your posting made me laugh - these are all the same comments that I receive at work. I work 3 days per week and regulary get comments such as "nice day off? Did you enjoy waching Jeremy Kyle all day? It's so difficult gettig hold of you as you are never there. Nice of you to show up today. Your face looks familiar but I can't place you" etc, etc. Most are meant in jest, but still become irritating when you hear them on a regular basis.

I was speaking with a good friend of mine yesterday who is currently pg with her first DC and I was trying to get across 'you can't have it all - something has to give when you have DC' but I don't think she realises that although she wants to do well in her chosen career, that something along the line has got to give if she goes down that route. She told me she's looked into childcare already and is shocked at the cost of it all if she was to continue working (pt or ft!).

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I said to her just wait and see how things go after the birth and once you get to near the end of mat leave and see how you feel then. It's easy to make assumptions about going back pt or ft but you can't really know how you feel until you are actually in that situation.

It's easy to say "wait" but I had to book my nursery place whilst still PG! Otherwise no hope of a place....I knew that financially speaking I had to go back to work so it was just one of those things....

Definitely you can't have it all. If I want promotion, eg the dream job I have been put forward for, there is no way I can do that without at least an Au Pair. I don't WANT an au pair. I want to collect dd from school, chat about her day, cook the dinner, have a glass of wine. I don't want to be in Amsterdam hobnobbing. Well part of me does...DH gets to do it. What do you do?

Mixed bag for me really. Was promoted 2 weeks before going on mat leave, although they knew I was only having 6 months off in total. Ds was 4.5 mo when I went back to work ft as that's the double edge - I can't do my job part time...

I work in retail, and we open 10 hrs a day, so I have to do some crappy shifts sometimes, dh managed to shift his working day, so I can drop ds off to nursery and dh can pick up. Sort of nicely ds goes 3 days a week, my mum has him 1.5 days and then dh and I share the rest, either together or seperately as I work most weekends. Tis a bugger we can't spend more time together, but he gets a good mix of all different carers.