Help! Indecision giving me a nervous breakdown

[PaperAngel]

Hi,

I'm not sure if this is in the topic but it is related to returning to work.

I really need some help!

I am due to move 200 miles away to return to work with my 2yo and DH. This is after a 3 year break and a move up the country to be with DH.

I always wanted to return to the city and tje job - not that the job was anything amazing but it was reasonably well paid.

But int he last 3 years I have got settled up here. We will be renting out our (owned) house and now that the return date approaches I feel violently sick with anxiety, can't sleep, can't eat... I don't want to leave this house at all.. it's the house I'm attached to and the good times we have here, spending lots of chilled time together...lots of time free from work...

Now to move out, start full time work, it all seems like everything is closing in on me. Is this just last minute nerves? Or is it an indication that I really should not move... I have time to give back word on job and back word on our tenants... though it would be burning my bridges.

Oh sorry this is so ranty but I am out of my mind with stress and really need some feedback!

Thank you PA

Poor you I don't have any easy answers but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I have been in a situation a bit like this before (I was pregnant and we were moving) and in the end we just called the whole thing off. It was the right decision as I couldn't stop worrying about the move and things kept going wrong with it so I just got a bad feeling about the whole thing.
I am now about to move (in a week eeek!) and it is scary but not like last time - this time whenever I feel worried I just remind myself of all the reasons we are making the change and then I feel better.
So, I suppose the question is whether it's just last minute nerves or if it's really the wrong thing? Can you sit down and talk it through with your DH, or a friend? Or feel free to talk about it on here if not
If you can stay where you are what is stopping you? Maybe you would really prefer it in the city but are scared of making the leap? Maybe you could write a big list of pros and cons? A bit of a lame suggestion maybe but I always find it helps . Good luck and make sure you get some rest and take care of yourself so you can think it all through properly. Maybe get away from it all for an afternoon?

Oh, and although I haven't experienced it myself I have read a few posts on here in which people have said that thinking about going back to work was much worse than the reality. Then again I am choosing to be a SAHM personally so it's what works for you and your family of course...

Do you need to move to go back to work maybe two changes is too much right now? Do you need to return to work or can you hold off until your child goes to nursery? Talk to DH about your worries. Moving is always stressful I did the big three inside a month (had baby, moved, got married) and I am still here to tell the tale! Going back to work is not easy I went back 3 days a week when DD was 7 months and found difficult as was still bf and expressing whilst working in a different location everyday was tough. I really wanted to do it for financial reasons but still find myself nearly in tears somedays when I leave DD at home. On the plus side getting out of the house on my own and remembering that I am a person outside of feeding, changing, nappies and baby talk is good. I go full time in a few months, only reason why I am ok with leaving DD for so long now she is nearly one is because DH stays home instead, wouldn't leave with anyone who was not family and trustworthy.

Thanks everyone for the input.

The only thing that is pulling us to make this change is my job. I have a job lined up in the city with sick pay, holiday pay, maternity pay etc, whereas if we stayed up here my partner would have a freelance job without any of those benefits.

We will be swapping a big house for a small flat and the aim is to start applying for jobs back in this town as soon as we get to the city, so we can come back in 6 months to a year.

I wish so badly now that we weren't going, but we are so far down the route now... how quickly can a year pass by? What will I do if we are deeply unhappy there? ;-(