Going back to work but I think I've changed my mind

[tabbycat7]

I decided a couple of months ago that I wanted to go back to work. I'm a primary school teacher and I did 2 days a week for a year after I had DS1, had a year out with DS2, went back 2 days a week again and I'm currently on maternity leave with DS3. After the other 2 I had to go back so that we could pay the mortgage etc but this time I actually have a choice. I think when I decided I was feeling a little fed up and I liked the idea of doing something else a couple of days a week. However since then DS3 has really settled down, DS1's behaviour has improved and DS2 is not being too terrible twoish (or maybe I've got used to it!), the better weather means I can turf them out into the garden (by the time it gets bad again DS1 will be at school) and I'm feeling much better in myself. I'm also trying to sort out childcare and I'm feeling very guilty that somebody else will have to take DS1 to school and pick him up on the days that I'm working and I really don't want to leave DS3 (probably last baby and I'm being a bit precious).
Also last year I had problems at work. I thought I as going back to a job share but I ended up being used as a babysitter with no responsibility for "my" class, I was not offered any training, ofsted came in and I wasn't told (ok days I don't do, but still!)and a whole load of other stuff that generally made me feel lousy about the whole thing. I considered calling my union but by then I was pregnant with DS3 and I didn't want the stress. I'm kicking myself now though, because I've been foolishly optimistic and assumed that things would be different this time (school is relocating to a new building, some extra classes were formed last year) but I found out last week that it's going to be the same arrangement with the same teacher. Tabby not happy
I'd kind of thought that it would be worth the stress and the guilt of leaving my boys, but if it's going to make me feel poopy I'm wondering whether it's worth it.

I'm not due to go back until September but they have been murmuring and I think I might have missed the date for handing in my notice

Sorry it's so long. Well done if you've got this far!

Personally I have found this year (DS just started school) the hardest year to work.I also work 2 days and have hated someone else doing pickups and drop offs. I keep thinking about giving up, but DS 2 will be going to school next year and it seems silly to give up now. You are in a different situation, with a baby still at home - I would avoid the hassle and stay with your kids.

How can you find out what the notice period is? You might have missed it, but you could always give the job a try for a while, doesn't have to be forever. Can you go and speak to the headteacher and explain what didn't work well last time and see if it could be rectified? Another thought: after a long hard day with the DC you might feel differently; 2 days per week is a very nice arrangement even if the jobs not so great.

Last day for handing in my notice is 31st May although apparently they might be willing to "waive" the notice period. Doesnt give me long to make my mind up though! It's deciding whether the hassle and guilt of leaving my kids is outweighed by the benefits of going back to work and I'm not sure it is. I suppose I could try it for a term. Aaarrgh stop dithering tabby!!!

Such a lot to think about, it isn't easy is it.

You have already gone back post 1 & 2, and I have only gone back after my only 1...but I experienced a range of conflicting thoughts/emotions/ideas/worrys when thinking about going back or not. My husband's aunt really helped me, she said all the concerns really needed to be tested, and the only way was to try it.

And for me it did work out ok (been back for 1.5 years), but I think trying it was key. I know it will take work to get the set up sorted (childcare etc) but at least you'll KNOW that you cannot do it or you can.

Good luck with it all.

Thanks