struggling with being back

[jollygreenmama]

Hi, I've been back at work since December. Dd now 14 months. I used to generally manage the business and am now supposed be more outward thinking BUT as lots of people have left and new ones joined I keep being put upon as I've been with the business for 4 years so know the procedures for most things. The business is small and growing really well which is great. My boss talks the talk and at a meeting in March appreciated that it is hard to get a part -time mind, however it is she who puts on me most. I also have to travel 45 mins to and from so dd in nursery longer than I'd like. i have asked to work from home more but as the we don't have experienced staff at the mo this isn't yet possible. Should i bide my time or look for something else? Dh very supportive and says we'll cope if I just wanna go but I feel like i've failed. My bosses do not have children and I know they just don't get where i'm coming from. If i leave could i get any benefits until i find something else? Any words of encouragement wonderful mums? Feel very down at the mo

Hi there, you don't say what you do, which is absolutely your right, but it might be easier for people to comment if they know how to relate.

Where are your bosses whilst you are having to manage office-based staff who can't yet be left on their own? It does sound very tough without bosses who are understanding about the need to juggle children and work. I don't think you should necessarily leave but that if you do, you shouldn't regard it as your failure. Some places are more family-friendly/oriented than others. Priorities change and you have to determine the right balance for you and your family for where you are right now.

The other thought I had based on what you've written is that you seem to be in a fairly strong negotiating position; growing company, lot of new staff, you're there with a lot of experience - they should want to keep you. So maybe you need to think not what you can do for your business but what your business can do for you!

I don't know the ins and outs but be careful about resigning until you know the full benefits picture. There are definitely some things you won't qualify for if you've deliberately put yourself out of employment.

I would say that you need to start looking elsewhere for a company that is more accomodating.

I went back to my old job for 1 day after the birth of DD1 and resigned - it was not a place to work and juggle a family...! I was at home for 2 years (had another child in the meantime!) and then I found a much much better job, in the same profession, but with a lot more flexility - I was allowed to work from home etc

That's my experience...

Have you formally requested any sort of flexible working? Do you have any inklings as to how your boss would deal with a request?

Might be worth thinking about because you can then either force the position a bit as you seem to have a good negotiating position or you can leave if the situation isn't going to improve.

[Or get pregnant again, take a year off on ML and then leave ]

A few things:

• "so know the procedures for most things." Why not write these down or, even better, get someone new to write them down. Then you won't have to repeat them and it will be a reference for future employees.
• I didn't understand the bit about your boss and the meeting in March - are you part-time?
• the 45 minutes travel: not great, but not that unusual, I'm afraid.
• it's great that the boss has not turned down the idea of some working from home; it means it's possible in the future as staff get more experienced. You might have a longer wait elsewhere before such "concessions" are made. Please be aware that working from home is very tough.

Of course you haven't failed whatever you decide. You have a lot to juggle and sometimes things just don't work as we want them to. I'd give it some more time, though.

Bookmarking for later

If you leave and your partner works it would be quite likely that you would lose some / all of the contribution based Job Seekers Allowance for resigning.

I would say try and make the job you have more into the job you want or look for a new one before resigning.

If you see potential in the job you do and want to make it work, then you can do it!

Take some time out and then spend some time with your boss. Look at all the tasks you do, review whether you should do them (if you are supposed to be more outward looking, then try to move as many routine tasks as you can to allow you to focus on the more high level stuff) Downsize your job to a manageable level and make it fit your requirements.

As others have said, writing down procedures so anyone can so these routine tasks is important. As the business grows, this will be key to ensuring the business can cope with growth without crumbling under the pressure. Lots of growing businesses struggle with this stage so easy to sell to your boss that creating a strong capable team and sound procedures will be a real benefit.

I imagine that recruiting extra staff is probably out of the question, but getting your existing staff to step up should be achievable. If required, you could possibly look for some temporary resource to help with defining roles, training staff and developing procedures. Worth the investment for the business too.

If you decide you want to stay, the effort required to fix it will be worth it. Good Luck.

I think that the problem might be that you're trying to juggle handover of knowledge to new team members, while at the same time trying to take on your new role - whichk, as MistyB says, it actually a problem that happens in most growing businesses. I think MistyB's advice is spot on, and it's not a failure with you - it's a stage that businesses go through, and people have to learn to deal with it.

Good luck!

Belated thanks to you all.

I work for an online florist and have been in the industry for 22 years.

I think I'm going to ask if I can work 2 long days ( the busy days of the week) and then work from home on the other days. The days at home can be used to write procedures for the business so we are not in the same position again.