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Advice on dealing with tricky boss

4 replies

ksmum · 21/05/2010 09:03

Hi - I am curently on adoption leave with second child. Due to go back end July.beg of August. However, this adoption has not been straightforward - we were told baby was fine/happy but actually he was/is far from it. has come on a lot but not at all ready for me to leave him.

I am/was a board director in a smallish (30 employees) company and have worked there 12 years.

Went to see boss explained situation said that ideally I would like to take an additional 6 mth sabbatical and come back 3 days but understood might not be feasible, could he see what he could do.

3 weeks later got an e-mail basically saying yes he could do that but while I am off I would lose all my employment rights (e.g. to redundancy) also v vague about what my job would be. In other words he is saying i need to leave and then reapply for my job and that when I start work again I would start from scratch.

He has made no effort to consider alternatives at all.

No wondering what to do - do I suggest alternatives to him like could I take 2 months parental leave (can take up to 4 weeks per year per child) and then come back or could I come back 2 days in August and build up to 3 and possibly 4. Or do you think best to just leave to him.

He is a right weasel and he hates being beholden to employees - also has no kids and hates anthing to do with them.

here is his e-mail , pretending to be helpful

hanks for coming in recently to explain why it would be preferable for you not to return to work until, at the earliest, February next year, and also that when you return you would envisage working at most a three day week. I do appreciate the challenge you face and we want to help you as best we can. However, as you are aware, adoption leave is available to you for 12 months, after which you need to return to work in order to continue to maintain your employment rights.

So, if you need to take time out until next year and not return to work, we can certainly agree to that but only, of course, on the basis that your employment will not continue in the interim period. But, because we want to be able rely on your skills in the future, we will try our best to find you as similar as possible a role, when you are able to return, and if this is not available at the time, then a suitable alternative if available. Obviously, it is impossible at this stage to be specific about the exact job, and whether this can be agreed on a part time basis because, as you well know, things are changing so rapidly in the industry and the resourcing demands on the Company are becoming ever greater.

Therefore, if we we proceed this way, a fresh agreement would then be put in place, as your employment rights like redundancy and right-to-return, and accrued benefits such as holiday allowance, will necessarily lapse at the end of the 12 month adoption leave period, as they must for any member of staff.

OP posts:
Portofino · 21/05/2010 09:36

I think it is not so much him "being helpful" but actually laying out the legal situation with regards to your employment.

I'm sorry things are more complicated with your new dc than you hoped but your boss doesn't HAVE to keep your job open for you if you stay off for longer. He is doing you a favour by agreeing that they will give you A job in the future.

flowerybeanbag · 21/05/2010 09:45

Well he is absolutely wrong to say that your employment rights 'will necessarily lapse', that's not the case at all. It's perfectly possible for him to give you 6 months unpaid leave and keep you employed if he wants to.

However he is under no obligation to give you that unpaid leave at all as I'm sure you know, so if he wants to say you must either come back after adoption leave or resign if you don't want to come back then, he can do, and of course he will be under no obligation whatsoever to look for a post for you 6 months after your employment terminated.

Seems weird, sounds like he's either genuinely mistaken, or is using this as a 'reason' to refuse your request and force you to either come back after a year or leave.

I would suggest you go back to him and say that in fact there is no reason he can't give you 6 months unpaid leave and keep you employed during that time should he choose to do so, in a nice 'perhaps you're mistaken' kind of way. Unpaid leave and sabbaticals are common in many organisations and continuous service is maintained, especially for short periods like 6 months.

He is of course under no obligation to grant you unpaid leave, you can acknowledge, and once you've explained that your employment doesn't have to end, ensuring that they can rely on your skills in the future, (which they could obviously not should you be forced to resign), if he still has concerns about giving unpaid leave, you will put in a request to take parental leave and holiday.

ksmum · 21/05/2010 13:31

Thanks both - I know he does not HAVE to give me this leave - but nor is the case that he CAN"T which is what he is implying. he is als pretending to be as helpful as possible so I can't say he hasn't considered my request.

But basically I'm asking - do you think it is better to go back now and say well I want to take 8 weeks parental leave and my 2 weeks hols then or try to get him to think of a compromise/shorter sabbatical so it doesn't look like I am forcing the issue.

He doesn't have to give me parental leave either does he - though he needs a pretty good excuse not to.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 21/05/2010 14:23

I'd probably take him at face value with his 'being helpful' approach. He's saying he can't give you 6 months off unpaid, implying that he would if he could. So I'd go back to him saying 'thanks ever so much for considering my request, really pleased you feel able to agree to my taking 6 months unpaid leave. With regard to my continuous employment, have checked the situation and unpaid leave doesn't necessitate termination of employment, in fact employment continues as normal, just without pay, making it all simpler for both parties, no need for new contracts blah blah blah.' In other words treat it as really good news that you've found out for both of you.

Say that you would appreciate confirmation that he is still happy to go ahead with the unpaid leave, maintaining your continuity of employment and that you understand there are no guarantees of what job may be available at the end of it and are happy to have that reflected in a letter.

If he says no he doesn't want to keep you employed, it's a decision, nothing he is forced into doing. You could then ask him for his proposals on a compromise, and also plan to take parental leave. He can't refuse your parental leave, however he can postpone it for up to 6 months if there are good business reasons. If he's prepared to give you unpaid leave and you haven't been around for a year anyway, that would be very unlikely, so you should be able to get at least some time off.

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