Looking for advice on whether my plans sound sensible if you have a few mins to spare! Many TIA!

[MandysRightEyebrow]

Am looking for a bit of advice as to whether my returning to work plans sound, well, workable - and any advice anyone with a bit of experience in this area might have would be very greatfully received (I'm starting to feel nervous about it!)

DD is 18 weeks old. I plan to return to work in July when she is 6mo.

DH is taking 4 weeks off work unpaid to care for her initially (although I am returning on a Thursday to make the transition easier and my Mum is kindly looking after DD for the Thurs and Fri that first week)

I then have 2 weeks leave in August and my Mum/DH will cover the rest of the month as we don't have a nursery place til September.

So DD will start nursery when she is 8mo. She will already be used to me not being around all day every day so hoping this will help. I am planning to take 1.5 hrs of annual leave a day for the first 4 months (ie til she's 1yo) so that I finish work at 2.30pm. DH can start work a bit later and will drop her off in the morning, so she will be at nursery from 9.30am til 2.45pm daily to begin with, then probably 9.30am-4.15pm from when she's 1yo.

Do you think all the chopping and changing of carer in July/Aug between me, DH and my mum will be too much? And has anyone any experience of managing a busy job but doing shorter hours? Am willing to catch up on things in the evenings and take the odd phone call in the avo.

From September til March, DH and I will have about 3 weeks' of leave each that we could use to cover time DD is sick - ideally would like to be able to take a bit of time off together at Xmas and in March but realise DD may get poorly quite frequently once she starts nursery. Is it likely we will need a lot of time off do you think?

As I say, feeling a bit unsettled about all this at the moment, don't want to give work notice of my return to work date only then to realise that it's an unmanagable nightmare! any advice/experience very greatfully received!

MRExxx

Will your employer allow you to use your AL like that? Catching up with things in the evening may be more difficult than you imagine with a small baby in the house!

My first thought is it all sounds a bit complicated and you are heavily reliant on your employer being happy with your plans.

"I am planning to take 1.5 hrs of annual leave a day for the first 4 months (ie til she's 1yo) so that I finish work at 2.30pm. DH can start work a bit later and will drop her off in the morning"

-Do you know this will be ok with your employer and your DH's employer? Most wouldn't allow daily taking of annual leave like that and would rather any part time arrangement is formalised. Essentially what you are asking is to work part time temporarily.

"Am willing to catch up on things in the evenings and take the odd phone call in the avo."

-Again, is your employer ok with this arrangement? Most would want you to either be at work or not.

Also "taking the oddd phone call in the avo" will mean having to be available to take said phone calls - so there go all your afternoons

I think you are making it too complicated too. She will most likely settle really quickly at that age. I would work a normal day and save your holiday entitlement to cover the inevitable sick days and well, holidays . Collection at nursery at 2.45 might kind of disrupt their day too - it is very early. Mine used to take them out for walks after their lunchtime nap.

I agree. Save your holiday. Full days together will be more satisfying for both you and your DD than 1.5 hours each day.

Your head must be spinning with those complicated arrangements!

Is it that the nursery place is unavailabe sooner?

FWIW mine didn't get ill all the time when they started nursery.

My nursery couldn't guarantee a place until Sept but so many people go on holiday over the summer he was actually able to start at the beginning of August except for a couple days. Might that be an option?

Personally I found it easier having 'work days' and 'home days' and ds seemed to be happy with that (8.15 to 5.50 - same as the other kids). I found dropping him off early before many other kids arrived meant he got extra cuddles and was confidently playing, whereas days we were late he was a bit upset (but only for a couple minutes)

Thank you for your v quick comments!

Yes this is very dependent on the agreement of my employer, which I think I have secured. I have thought a lot about this from a work perspective and think, given the nature of my role, that this is a good way to use some of my leave with minimum disruption so hope employer continues to agree! I am now more concerned that these arrangements will be ok for DD and our family life.

Re working in the evenings - yes, could be a nightmare. If i need to do it, DH will look after DD if she isn't already in bed. Time just the two of us will definitely suffer/disappear while DD is little and we are both at work FT!

Sorry I should have been clearer - I am happy to be available in the afternoons if needed, will have nothing planned except playing with DD - Would not dream of trying to formally work from home with DD here, but I just mean that if needed I would always be contactable.

Yes I shoud definitely check pick-up time with nursery, good point - in the info pack I have it says 2.30-3pm they do 'floor activieties' so this sounds like quite a good time to pick up (before tea time at 3pm) but will check!

Thanks again this is helping me to think things through afresh!

TBH sounds like you work pretty short hours anyway and 9.30-4.15 is a short nursery day (my ds is there 8-6) so I wouldn't worry too much about that and maybe plan to use your AL to take a day a week off or something like that rather than the odd 1.5hrs in the afternoon. IMO that 1.5hrs isn't really going to make that much difference to your dd but will undoubtedly affect your work. IMO you need your employer to be flexible when you suddenly have to take a day off because your dc is sick and it's better to save goodwill for that sort of thing than a complicated arrangement like this that doesn't have a huge benefit for your dd. Agree with portofino the nursery may not be happy with it - ds' nursery prefer pick ups after 4pm unless there is a special reason and you don't want to annoy the nursery staff!

Blimey that's complicated.

Are you sure your employer is on board with your plans - I would be a bit [hmmm] about someone wanting to take 1.5 hours leave every day - it sounds great for you, but not so much for your employer (course depends on your job). How do you think it will work in practice? I found that being part time and having to leave every day at 4.00pm a real PITA. You'll be leaving just after everyone is back from their lunch, you will always be excluded from pm meetings and no matter how much you explain it to people, they will think you are taking the pee.

Baby will be fine with chopping and changing at that age. they don't miss you half as much as you think hope they will.

cross posted a bit there!
yes maybe i should talk to the nursery about what DD might find easiest rather than me just assuming a shorter day is best. just while she's so little i thought she might struggle with a long day (but i went to a CM fulltime from 5mo myself and know this was fine - good in fact!!)
i have quite a lot of AL accrued so if I don't take shorter days then am a bit worried that taking chunks of time off would be more disruptive to my employer, again, I could go back to them and run through the options.

If you can't get a place til Sept, your DD will be with family so i don't think the chopping and changing will affect her.

However, IME, once she starts nursery, consistency and routine is important. DD started nursery last July when she was 10 months old. She goes 8.30am till 5pm and I prefer her to have a full day as she'd miss out on activities otherwise. it's also good for her to build relationships with her carers etc. When she started, I took one day off a week using up leave for as long as I could. Having a full day with me was better for her.

And (touching wood furiously), since July she's only been off nursery twice with illness for a couple of days at a time. She's had loads of colds but they haven't really affected her.

What I'm saying with this ramble is that if this were me, I'd go for full days off with her and let her spend full days at nursery. DD is now 20m and loves it there. Good luck.

My dd used to do similar hours to yours MrsArch. It worked fine for us. Dd really enjoyed nursery - it's amazing the activities they get up to even when they are very small.

And you DO need to make time for your relationshio too! Even if you organise a "date" once a week.

Working from home is not easy. Difficult to comment without knowing what you do but your work day from 9 till 2.45 will be short and you could well spend the day feeling really stressed / rushed. Your boss may be on board but will all your colleagues? If you do need time off for the occassional illness, it will be better received and easier for you to deal with if you have not had lots of time off already.

Working in the evenings while you also do bedtime, clear up, cook, shop, pack for nursery and talk to your DH is not easy / fun. Sometimes it's nice to just switch off and focus on being at home. Staying late at work to get things finished and not taking work home does wonders for your mental health.

Your relationship is also important - I'd second the date night and also using AL for family / holiday time. Time with all three of you will be more special than a few snatched hours here and there.

Rather than trying to spend every minute you can with her, make the time you spend with her special for both of you. At work, be at work, enjoy being there and do the best you can, anything less will make you feel like you are doing everything badly.

It's not unusual to feel like this!! You are parents for the rest of your lives, not just the next year so make is as easy as you can on everyone.

MandysRightEyebrow my DS started nursery at ~ 7 months and I was going to go back to work 60% (3 full days) but then I chickened out about him being at nursery for breakfast and tea so I changed it to 50% and worked 2 days 9:30 - 4:30 and 1 day 9:30 - 4:00. Once he got older he started having breakfast at nursery and I used the time to either do a bit extra work or housework etc.

IMO these shorter days were what I needed and they certainly didn't disrupt DS - he didn't know any different - and I got to see much more of him on my work days than I would have done.

This worked very well for me and my employer was in agreement because I went back to a new project role.

It also allowed me to work slightly more than my contracted hours but still manage the drop off and pick up. (I had always worked more than 9-5 IYSWIM when there were things than needed finishing/I was busy).

Maybe try to see if your boss is happy with you starting off with the shorter days and then amending it in the future to some full days off?

I really don't think that the nursery staff will mind when you do pick up and drop off provided you work out when the meals are etc.

Anyway I work for myself now so I have lots of flexibility but more admin/stress re finding work (NB would have continued in employment but company was bought out/reorganised and I was made redundant).

It all sounds fine to me except I agree with the other posters that the initial nursery arrangements sound overcomplicated, I would work your normal day and pick her up when you've finished, DD won't mind.

Good luck with it all.