Work/home life balance...

[happyland]

I am finding it so hard! How do you all manage!
A bit of backround - my husband and I run a plumbing and heating company. He does the manual stuff and I do all the books, VAT, website, marketing, advertising etc. We are branching out into renewables and trying to build up the business with the hope of taking on a couple of employees (engineers) soonish, which again will mean more work for me.
But I also have two small children (2,4) and I do all the household stuff too, inc bank stuff, bills, day to day stuff, cooking cleaning, washing, taxing children around etc etc the list goes on!

I find it so hard to spend quality time with the children whilst working at the same time. No office so computer is in the living room and I get interrupted constantly. It is so hard to try and concentrate on accounts with a little boy and girl requesting my attention all the time.

I have constant guilt that I should be baking and painting and generally playing with them instead of trying work, but then we need to build up the business too! At the moent the business is probably suffering so I have guilt about that too!
I just don't know how to work it all properly with out working all night after they go to bed! Am so tired I am in bed by 9.30 latest each night! So then my husband moans when I go to bed early.!
I simply can't win!
Heidi will be at school in sept so that will free up a bit of day time but Joey will still be around and I want to bring them in the best way I can.
Advice please!
( and yes I realise that I should be working / baking cupcakes with the children and not on mumsnet!!)

It is hard work, isn't it? My three are all at school and kindergarten now which does make things a lot easier, but I still have very busy periods when I need to work when the DC are around and sometimes have urgent jobs, which need to be done straight away, to do in the afternoon (school is only in the morning here).

Before DS started nursery, I used to get most of my work done in the evenings and weekends - not ideal, but when needs must... I can empathise re you needing an early night as I'm the same, but could you get any of your work done at the weekend when your DH is around to look after the children? Naptimes are a godsend too, especially if older DC are at school - is it likely that your DS will still be napping in September? Or could at least be encouraged to have some quiet time in his bedroom after lunch, say?

I really don't like using the TV as a babysitter but have had to rely on it occasionally when an urgent job comes in. It's obviously not an ideal solution, but maybe you could let them watch 20 minutes or so while you get on with some work, and then spend half an hour of "quality time" with them.

If you can involve them in the day-to-day things you need to get done, such as housework, cooking etc, that obviously makes life a lot easier. DD2 (5) loves helping me hang up and fold washing, weighing out ingredients when I'm cooking etc; even if things do take a little longer, you're still getting them done and spending time with your DC in the process.

And hang in there - it does get easier! Not just as they start nursery or school and are out of the house for a bit longer, but also as they get more independent and start playing together more without you needing to be involved as much. I still find the balance difficult some days, but try to force myself to either concentrate on work or the DC but not both at the same time (difficult for you I know, when yours are at home all day).

Thanks for your reply. I am pretty rubbish at evening working, but I do try the weekends. But then h does want to do things as family because he is off work! It's just a massive juggling act at the minute. I feel guilty about letting them watch too much tv and I feel as if I am not doing a good enough job as a mother. But then I'm probably not that grreat at working either! Nursery / school should help but by the time I am back from taxiing everyone to and fro and normal household stuff the time just dissappears.
Involving them around the house is a good idea - they love cooking etc

I've just seen your other thread in chat and read that you're potty training and teaching your DD to read as well - def agree with the other replies that you shouldn't expect too much of yourself and that you can't do everything. I tend to let the housework slide when I have a lot of work on, I must admit.

Have you thought about childcare at all? DD1 went to a childminder two mornings a week when she was 2 and it really wasn't that expensive. I did feel quite guilty at first but she really enjoyed going and it did enable me to get a lot more done, which meant I could spend more time with her the rest of the time.

I also feel guilty about missing out on family time at the weekends - DH isn't home till the DC's bedtime during the week so it's the only time we get to spend as a family. But even if your DH only looks after the DC for an hour or so, you'll probably find you can get much more done during that time than when your DC are around.

happyland I can't imagine how difficult it must be juggling 2 plus working while they are at home. My DS is at nursery M-W but at times on other days I have been checking email whilst he was watching TV.

I agree with involving the DCs in helping with your housework tasks.

This has the benefit of getting the chores done/spending quality time with them and teaching them something.

Have a google of Montessori practical life activities eg here or here.

I have found that using this approach my DS will often get very absorbed in a particular task and can then be left to do this whilst I do something else. I also like

Also have you looked at Flylady website to help you set up consistent routines?

Re the website/marketing etc there are loads of graduates our there desparate for some unpaid work epxerience. You could try putting a free ad in the gumtree jobs section. You never know you might find a gem who needs some experience on their CV.

What accounts package are you using? I have recently converted over to Free Agent it is £15 per month for a sole trader but I have a 10% off code. You can try it free for 30 days. The beauty is that you upload bank statements and it "learns" what each expense is. You set up customers in a database and produce invoices at the click of a button and these then calculate VAT etc.

Is your DH doing any of the admin side? It would take the pressure off you if everything is set up so that either of you can do it easily - admin task and DC tasks!

I'd also recommend looking at Flylady's routines - she breaks everything down into small steps, which makes it all seem much more manageable and less overwhelming. You'd be very welcome to join us on the Fledgling Flyers thread; everyone is very encouraging, even if we do seem to spend more time chatting than flying sometimes!

Could you afford to take an admin person on? One of my clients has just taken on some staff.

The Job Centre are paying £6k if you take someone that is unemployed on. You don't have to match the salary - so you can pay whatever you can afford.

Oh God I'm like this, I find it hard to resist checking my work emails or chatting on AIM to my fellow PFs.

It does help that my work PC is in the dining room and I tend to spend most of my time in the lounge playing with DS (who is currently eating his tea). Because I use gmail it is easy to check my work email on my netbook (which is my 'personal' pc) I MUST STOP! Especially as I don't get paid for the work stuff I do on my netbook!

Sorry no useful advice, lucky you have some from other posters! But just wanted to let you know you are not alone

Thanks all, we are thinking about taking on staff to ease the load a bit but a bit worried about the forthcoming budget etc before committing to anything...

Flexible - could I have that code, I like the look of free agent software although my accountant wants me just to use excel spreadsheets. ( was using sage but she doesn't like this either) Do you know if it's compatible?

Hi happyland!

The code is 358ea0rk or you can go direct via this link

You can export everything into excel at the click of a button. If you are doing a trial then you can check this by going to Home and then Export Data.

It should definitely be up to you what software you use - you could give your accountant the log-in from time to time or just use it to keep your books during the year and then export to excel at the end of the year.

Honestly - I think you're mad to consider working from home with no childcare. I would consider getting childcare for a few days a week, and try to fit the majority of your work in then - much fairer and easier on both you and the kids IMHO. Yes, of course there will be times when things come up, and you have to work when they're there, but much better to plan to have them out of the house if you can arrange it / afford it. Will your DS be eligible for the pre-school vouchers soon?

Yes eligible in Sept, thank goodness, so should have at least 2 hours time each day to fit in all my work with a bit of peace!
Thank you for that code, i do like the look of the software, seems quite user friendly.